What is the funniest thing you've seen as a Jumpmaster?

2015-09-26T04:59:20-04:00

I was a safety on a jump one time, and while checking static lines I noticed an arm over the static line cable. I moved back and asked the paratrooper what was wrong, and he said he could not jump. I asked why, and he motioned to the pack tray he was holding with his other hand.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Sep 26 at 2015 6:16 AM

2015-09-26T06:16:52-04:00

I wasn't a Jump Master or even Parachutist qualified, but I have done some civilian sky diving, a tandem jump. My instructor fell asleep in the plane prior to the jump and I did find that a bit funny.

Response by CW4 Russ Hamilton (Ret) made Sep 26 at 2015 2:59 PM

2015-09-26T14:59:37-04:00

I was JMing a C-130 tailgate jump back around 1987. We had a brand new 2LT making his cherry jump after graduating jump school. He was wearing one of several white painted steel pot cherry helmets we had made up for such occasions back then, complete with a painted on bullseye target on the top, red cherries and slogan’s such as “steer away” and look out below.” He was just going by me when he slipped and fell on his ass. He was so determined to jump he simply but rapidly scooted the last six feet on his ass and off the end of the tailgate. He’s an O-6 now and reminds me of that story each time we run into one another – he’s rather proud of his cherry jump!

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 28 at 2015 6:20 PM

2015-09-28T18:20:07-04:00

I was static safety on a CH-47 jump, tied into the bird on a monkey harness. I had a young fellow who may or may not have been a cherry, but he was scared out of his gourd. I went through the jump commands, checking him myself because he wasn't moving at all. I said, "Stand by!", and pointed where I wanted him. He didn't move.

I reached up and grabbed his arm and pulled him to where I wanted him. When I let go, he backed up. So I grabbed his arm again and held onto him while doing my final safety checks. When the Green came on, I slapped his leg and yelled, "Go!" He stood there.

So I grabbed his arm with both hands and threw him headfirst out the back. The last I saw on him he was windmilling his arms so fast, I thought he was trying to fly like a bird.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 29 at 2015 11:09 PM

2015-09-29T23:09:56-04:00

This doesn't really qualify, because it was my second jump in jump school, and (of course) I wasn't a Jumpmaster then, nor was it funny at the time. (And in case you don't know/remember, it's the second jump that is the worst one. The first one, muscle memory took over and I was out of the plane without any idea how I got there. By the second jump, I KNEW what was going to happen, and I was scared.)

Anyway, the guy in front of me took his door position with his hands on the inside of the aircraft (a C-130). The blackhat yelled, "Put your hands on the outside of the door!" The guy said, "They are on the outside!" So the blackhat slaps him on the leg, and the guy starts to do the airborne shuffle in REVERSE. The blackhat pulls his leg back to kick him, and the guy saw that and jumped. Meanwhile nothing has gone like it was suppose to, and my brain was locked up like a Yugo that lost it's oil pan 20 miles back.

The blackhat yells, "Stand in the door!", to me, and I waddle forward. I don't hand him my static line (my brain is seized up) but he takes it from me and slaps me on the leg. I fall headfirst out the door and wind up with twists all the way to my neck. I got untangled just in time to do a lousy PLF.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 31 at 2015 4:59 PM

2015-10-31T16:59:06-04:00

I watched a jumper turn a Casa jump into a UH-60.

Response by SGM Eric Nelson made Nov 24 at 2015 7:41 AM

2015-11-24T07:41:09-05:00

I was safety on a C-130 jump at Bragg. A SSG in our ground Troop sitting about middle of the chalk had filled a barf bag with Chicken a la King and stuffed it in his shirt prior to boarding. During the flight, he started making puking sounds and motions, pulled out the bag and pretended to puke into it. He wiped his mouth, reached into his pocket, pulled out a spoon and began eating the contents of the bag. Major chain reaction......had about 10+ real barf bags to pick up when we landed!

Response by MAJ Brad Rather made Jun 11 at 2016 1:44 PM

2016-06-11T13:44:36-04:00

I was an AJ during Operation Royal Dragon at Fort Bragg in 1996, I had a chalk of British Paratrooper on my door. Their rucks are a lot different than our ALICE so the Harness, Single Point Release didn't fit well.. Just before I turned to give him the tap out, my #1 jumpers ruck landed on the floor in front of us! The green light came on and we look at each other and both of us kicked his ruck out the door and he went right behind it!!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 11 at 2016 10:38 PM

2016-06-11T22:38:31-04:00

I was JM on a ramp jump on a C130 not long ago. We were doing GMRS on a tiny DZ, and wings were always a major factor because of how narrow the DZ is, so I wanted to do a streamer toss. I had not done a streamer throw off the ramp of a C130 before. As I speed the jump, I said up and tossed the streamers off the back, where the updraft promptly blew them into the tail and turned them into confetti. The DZSO asked if I was dumping garbage first. The jumpers all looked at me nervously, although the jumpmaster on board laughed. I learned to throw them down of the side of the ramp after that.

Response by CPO Randy Francis made Jun 12 at 2016 11:11 AM

2016-06-12T11:11:48-04:00

Started out my military career as a 12B with the 307th Engineers in the 82nd. Sometimes we would have to jump with the infantry guys and we hated it. Those guys would start swaying back and forth and could get the C-130s rocking back and forth. Eventually the aircraft commander would call back to the loadmaster and tell him to tell the guys to "knock that shit off". I can laugh about it now but it scared the crap out of me then.

Response by MAJ Arvie McDaniel made Jan 5 at 2017 12:47 PM

2017-01-05T12:47:09-05:00

I was jumpmastering a Casa212 at St Mere-Eglise for a USASOC fun jump. There was a female engineer captain that looked scared before we even got on the plane. I asked if she was okay and she admitted she was a little nervous. I reassured her and put her in the middle of the stick (she initially was the #1 jumper.)
Once we got in the air and I have the command "GO!" Every thing was going smoothly until I saw her coming with eyes closed, almost running. She sort of jumped, hit her head on the ceiling on the plane, bounced on her 4th point of contact, and fell out of the plane.
The next jumper, a friend of mine from 3rd SFG, was laughing to the point of tears.
When I got back to the ground I found her and made sure she was okay. Then I explained what she did wrong, how it could be bad for her on a lot of different levels, and told her to stick to jumping with her engineer unit.
This was back in 1999 or 2000. The next time I saw her she was a master blaster. I never wrapped my star.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 13 at 2017 11:33 AM

2017-01-13T11:33:19-05:00

I was in the Texas National Guard's 36th Airborne Brigade in 1978 and I was making my 8th jump. (Not a jumpmaster yet, so this may not count.) We had a general visiting us. Some muckety muck from somewhere far above my then E-4 paygrade. Anyway someone convinced him to ride along with us on a CH-47 jump, and see how it's done.

The general was seated right up against the cockpit at the front of the bird. The very second the wheels lifted off the ground, everyone on the bird stood up and started jumping up and down in the bay. The poor jumpmaster at the rear was going through the commands with no one paying any attention. The pilots kept looking back down the aisle at us jumping and screaming in the back. Two big SSGs, who probably could have played football on a pro team, went to the general and started pulling on his arms to get him to stand up. They were yelling, "Come on sir! You can hang onto us. We'll get you down OK.

We were on an elevator, so when we straightened out for the drop run, the SSGs released the general, we all hooked up, lined up, and when the green light came on we ran out the bird in about 10 seconds.

Needless to say, the general got back in his staff car and left as soon as possible. God I loved the Texas National Guard!

Response by SSG Lon Watson made Jan 7 at 2019 4:37 PM

2019-01-07T16:37:19-05:00

I’m in the left door jump mastering over I want to say Salerno drop zone at Bragg, it’s been several years. As I’m squared up on the door and look out for my one minute reference point, I see a giant teardrop shape pond. I quickly get back inside the aircraft, I told the number one and the number two jumpers (Battalion commander and Sergeant Major) We’re over the wrong drop zone. No sooner do I get the words out of my mouth, the aircraft veers sharply to the right. I’m riding a wheelie in the left door, I looked over my shoulder and the captain jump mastering in the right door his face down towards the ground. I’m praying “ please God don’t let him fall out!” It was wild!!!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 8 at 2019 11:54 AM

2019-01-08T11:54:58-05:00

I was the JM on a chinook jump which meant I exited first. I took a strp off the ramp but it wasn't a very good one. I promptly found myself sitting on the ramp at a high rate of speed which caused the pilot to ask the safety what the hell just happened. I simply leaned forward and fell out the aircraft... it was just one of those days.

Response by SPC Duane Gaither made Jan 8 at 2019 4:05 PM

2019-01-08T16:05:54-05:00

I was jumping a Huey for fun, at Dugway, Utah. My best friend was JM that day. The DZ was adjacent to main post.
When I started to scoot to push off to the skid, the butt of my harness hung on something protruding from the floor. I tried to back up and get off of it. Bob thought I was trying to get back on the aircraft and was pushing me.
When I finally came loose, we were over main post. I landed near the MP building.
No one bitched. We all had beers, and no one got in trouble.
Those were the days.

Response by SSG David Stafne made Oct 2 at 2019 12:18 AM

2019-10-02T00:18:36-04:00

When jumping Hueys instead of pushing up and out we would momentarily stand on the skids then step off. I had an EN Captain try this once, he slipped and fell straight down with the skid becoming wedged between he his back and pack tray; he was a “Hung Jumper.” Having never been trained for this situation as a SSG 11-Bravo the solution became obvious. It was my third kick to pack that flipped him forward and rotated him free from the skid!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 2 at 2019 12:59 AM

2019-10-02T00:59:57-04:00

I was sitting on the tail of the AC130 during a black out door jump in Ranger bn. Blackout means true blackout, no lights. We were jumping into a civilian airfield and i was counting bodies back on after exfil and completion of airfield seizure training. Anyway, I had nods on but I was lashed to the floor. AF hands the door to the JM, door checks occur and then standby; we run on a 6 min standup drill. First guy goes out the right door and the step breaks off the bird, I can't tell anyone cause I'm lashed down. I watch in horror as each guy goes to step where the step should be only to meet the crease of the door and violently spin out. The AF TAC P said the step landed 10 feet from him and embedded itself 3 feet in the ground

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 7 at 2019 5:40 PM

2019-10-07T17:40:22-04:00

I want the JM but watching my buddy slip down the ramp on a free fall jump and flip for a few thousand feet was funny once his chute opened. Best jump was when the osprey was going a little too fast and I felt my body slow down after exit!

Response by SPC Gary Symons made Feb 14 at 2022 1:43 AM

2022-02-14T01:43:00-05:00

We were jumping a packed C141 and we stood up, hooked up when the red light came on, it slowed to 125 mph and the doors opened. The green light came on and we all started shuffling to the door to exit and instantly be ejected at 125 mph. Suddenly the whole line came to a quick halt and the green light turned red again. Never saw that after dozens of jumps.

They started hauling in the static lines of the few that cleared and jumped while we were over the drop zone. As one static line came in from outside the aircraft, I saw two hands attached to it. They clutched the inside of the door and a body attached was dragged back in. That guys static line was misrouted so his chute didn’t open and he must have spun outside the back of the plane as a few jumped past him. The pilot could tell their was drag and canceled the jump. That guy was in shock and kept saying he was spun crazy. After that, we all laughed but also double checked our static lines as should always be done on every jump for the guy in front of you.