What's the difference between a stay-at-home husband and a stay-at-home wife??

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 06:31:18 -0500

I am married to an army veteran who was wounded in combat. We decided that I would remain in the service and he would take care of the home. At no point have we been financially unstable. My real question is what would your response be to the "old salts" who constantly make comments about your husband "not being the man?? This is never an issue when service members have a stay at home wife!

Response by MSgt C Madd made Jan 23 at 2016 6:37 AM

MSgt C Madd — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 06:37:48 -0500

Because he's a dude. He's just gonna have to be tough about it. If he has feelings, it's gonna be tougher. If the two of you are good about it, who cares what other people think. Good luck.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 23 at 2016 6:39 AM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 06:39:43 -0500

Just looking for a clever come back

Response by SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 23 at 2016 7:04 AM

SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 07:04:57 -0500

Both come down to allowing success but here you go...

Real men are willing to let their women succeed even if it means they have to take care of home.

I'll take a real man over a boy selfish enough to let personal pride hinder his woman's success.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 23 at 2016 7:24 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 07:24:39 -0500

Possible responses to the questions about your husband, staying home..

1. My husband never stops working. Here we are, in the middle of the afternoon and we're both at a coffee shop. I'm sure my husband would love to have time to sit down and drink a coffee. It's nice to get a break, isn't it?"

2.Turn it around for them. Ask them if they have they ever spent an extended period of time with a toddler, a preschooler or teenager or completed all the household tasks in addition to household maintenance, preparing meals, paying bills, and running errands.

3. Address it by saying something about understanding how fortunate you are or that we cut corners to manage and this is what is right for us.

4. Address it by saying something about how fortunate you are he is willing to make this sacrifice.

Response by 1stSgt Eugene Harless made Jan 23 at 2016 7:26 AM

1stSgt Eugene Harless — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 07:26:43 -0500

Don't worry about what you think someoneone else's perception is. I was happy when they started recognizing that Males had a role in raising the kids. I got 10 Days Maternity leave when My kids were born and as a kicker I didnt have to squeeze something the size of as cantelope out one of my orifices.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Jan 23 at 2016 8:19 AM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 08:19:28 -0500

"Don't worry, he still wears the pants in the family.... When I let him."

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Jan 23 at 2016 8:24 AM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 08:24:38 -0500

Jealousy, They're just Jealous because they can't or wont. Good for Your Family. How Cool to be an Active Father while the Kids are Growing Up. My Dad was on the Road most of the time when I was growing up and we lost a lot of Quality Time.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 23 at 2016 11:07 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 11:07:58 -0500

Since becoming a single father, I have acquired a newfound respect of what it takes to do all of the domestic things as well as earning a living. The kids don't ever stop needing things, and there is no such thing as a sick day. But every single night I get to make dinner with my daughter and homework with my son, or teach my youngest his letters... it is a blessing that I can't believe I missed so much of all these years.
Much of the commentary I get from others is "how do you do it?" and "I wish I could do that".
Sometimes it is ok in our busy lives to realize that all of this running around and business we do daily really isn't that important.

Response by MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P made Jan 23 at 2016 12:00 PM

MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 12:00:29 -0500

Anyone that says being a stay-at-home spouse is easy has obviously never tried it! With my rotating shifts and the wife working M-F days, I do the housework when I'm home. By the time I get the laundry washed/dried/folded, floors vacuumed, supper cooked, and house picked up, the children are arriving from school and the wife is coming home from work. At this point, the cycle of cleaning and putting away items just starts all over again....

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 23 at 2016 1:13 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 13:13:21 -0500

Since they're old you can always steer the conversation toward funeral arrangements reminding them of their impending doom... That way it's uncomfortable conversation for everyone!

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 23 at 2016 2:04 PM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 14:04:55 -0500

My wife is a "stay at home" mother...Which means that she has the most difficult job in the home much of the time. That said, we've found that the task of caring for a child is a team effort, and best accomplished when both parents share the load as best they can. I may earn the money, and fulfill the roles of accountant, facilities maintenance, carpenter, plumber, electrician, security and public affairs...but I also make a mean ragout stew and pot of tea, can change a diaper while singing "Bonny Portmore", and laugh when I think being a watch officer at sea didn't afford me enough sleep :) If I had to do it without her, I'd be in over my depth...and I'd like to think she needs me as well.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jan 23 at 2016 4:17 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 16:17:31 -0500

I would say that it is between me, him, and god. Now kindly STFU. Well maybe not the last phrase.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Jan 23 at 2016 7:05 PM

PO1 John Miller — Sat, 23 Jan 2016 19:05:08 -0500

If it works for you and your husband, f**k what other people say!

By the way, love the picture of you and ADM Howard!