When you regret choices - pro life vs pro choice.

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 11 Oct 2014 14:11:11 -0400

Thought I would add this as a separate topic to the "pro choice/life" discussion in case anyone else has experienced the same...

My (now) 2 yr old was born dead. He was on ECMO (heart lung bypass) for 10 days and wasn't getting better. We were told that he would most likely die and, best case scenario, would have severe to moderate cerebral palsy - meaning a life in a wheel chair. At the time, I said, "look for organ recipients" and lets end it. My wife is a catholic and wouldn't let me do that. He's now 2 and running around like a maniac with no issues.

My point in this rant - be careful of your choices. I'm very pro-choice, but sometimes our beliefs get in the way and we make choices because it's what we "believe" vs reality. Be cautious of things like right to die and do not resuscitate. Don't end up on the wrong side of that choice. Atheists can be as wrong in their beliefs as religious people.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 11 at 2014 2:15 PM

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 11 Oct 2014 14:15:32 -0400

Great "story" (in quotes because it's your life, not really a story). It's wonderful that your son came through the ordeal healthy.

I'm pro-life (anti-abortion), but I agree with you that beliefs can get in the way. You know the anecdotes, similar to yours, actually. I was recently reading about Tim Tebow and how people were pressuring his mother to abort him, I think because she was not really in a position to care for a child. She fought back the pressure, and he turned out to be a somebody.

And I've seen it go the other way as well. A good Army buddy of mine and his wife had no reason to believe there would be any issues with their second child. She came into the world with severe Down syndrome. She's 21 now, but can't walk, can't talk. They are Catholic, and they held onto their faith as they raised their daughter. I can only imagine the sacrifices they had to make and the struggles they had to go through.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 11 at 2014 2:24 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 11 Oct 2014 14:24:46 -0400

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member I've heard from magicians that people with the most education are the easiest to fool. We "think" we know. People with the most "beliefs" are also the easiest to fool. As a medical guy, I thought I knew what was best with my son - let him die. All the docs at Georgetown said the same. This is a lesson in how much us "professionals" know.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Oct 12 at 2014 9:17 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Sun, 12 Oct 2014 21:17:47 -0400

Very respectable view MAJ Private RallyPoint Member and some good advice!

Response by SSG Pete Fleming made Oct 12 at 2014 10:43 PM

SSG Pete Fleming — Sun, 12 Oct 2014 22:43:16 -0400

MAJ Ian Dews, it takes courage to go through what you did but even more to share it so that others might gain from your experience. May you and your family forever be blessed with the gift and the opportunity you have been given. Thank you for sharing.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 27 at 2014 10:52 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 10:52:46 -0400

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member , I am pro-life, and I believe that it was no small miracle that your son made such a turn-around.

You are very correct in our beliefs sometimes clouding our judgment and affecting the course we take. It is hard for us as human beings to take emotion out of the equation. It is awesome to hear that your son is running around like a maniac. I pray that you would have many more years of chasing him around as you watch him grow.

Thanks for sharing.

Response by COL Jean (John) F. B. made Oct 28 at 2014 9:03 AM

COL Jean (John) F. B. — Tue, 28 Oct 2014 09:03:33 -0400

I am very much pro-life.

Bless you and your wife for your courageous (and right) decision. I am so very glad your son is OK.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 28 at 2014 9:48 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 28 Oct 2014 09:48:47 -0400

Pro-Choice

My body, my choice, my regrets….
Just like they say if you don't like smoking don't do it.
Don't like drinking don't do it.
Don't like abortions don't have one.

Myself do not ever want kids. Please everyone save yourself with the "You'll change your mind" or "It's just a phase". I'm not coming out as gay. This is a life decision I made long ago. Kids are NOT for everyone. Just as tattoos, the gym or anything else isn't for everyone. I don't like being fat or eating unhealthy but you don't see me forcing my way of life onto everyone.

I do everything that I can to prevent a child but if that case were to happen I would be miserable having one run around, which is nice to have that option to where if it does happen I can do it properly. Better then going behind an ally with a coat hanger, or forcing myself down some stairs for an oops.

I don't care what everyone is doing what they want with their OWN body so do not tell me what to do with mine. What ever chances I make it is my life to do with, not yours. Do not throw religion in this about god this or god that. God says ALOT OF THINGS and the bible is not a buffet where you pick and choose which rules you decide to live by and follow.

Those who say go thru with the pain & labor to put it up for adoption, there are enough kids needs a home why add yet another one to the list?

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 3:09 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 03 Nov 2014 15:09:56 -0500

Thank you for sharing this beautiful story, Sir. Its a wonderful turn of events that he is now a healthy boy. Even if it isnt my personal flavor, I am still pro-choice.

Response by Jennifer Lee (Doerflinger) Hill made Nov 12 at 2019 7:38 PM

Jennifer Lee (Doerflinger) Hill — Tue, 12 Nov 2019 19:38:02 -0500

I got pregnant my first time. I was 16 & certainly had no intention of going that far.
My Mom insisted on an abortion; we couldn't sully the good name of our family. (Major irony) It destroyed me for a number of years & I'm vehemently pro-life. Some women think it will fix everything; instead, it wrecks your mind. Our govt tends to encourage young pregnant women to abort: it's cheaper.
When our son's former girlfriend was pg, we invited her to stay w us. I went with her to the State offices & they forced me to leave so they could push abortion. I told her we'd adopt the baby.
Unfortunately, she visited relatives in Canada & the Dr told her the baby was badly formed, so she aborted. Jim & I couldn't even walk into Wal-Mart, as they had baby items on display as you came in. We grieved that child for a long time.
Our son & his girlfriend were addicts. She was barely 16.

Response by SGT James Hastings made Nov 12 at 2019 7:40 PM

SGT James Hastings — Tue, 12 Nov 2019 19:40:07 -0500

I’m with you on this. God IS in control but gives us the right to make choices because WE live with the consequences. After my son’s mother had a miscarriage with our second child, because of her age(7 years older than I) she urged me to have my tubes tied. I did, and years later we divorced (my fault). I remarried but never had another child, which I regretted. Decisions are tough and sometimes have unforeseen consequences (just like life in general). So happy for you and your son!

Response by Jennifer Lee (Doerflinger) Hill made Nov 12 at 2019 8:02 PM

Jennifer Lee (Doerflinger) Hill — Tue, 12 Nov 2019 20:02:38 -0500

So very true.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Nov 12 at 2019 10:41 PM

CSM Charles Hayden — Tue, 12 Nov 2019 22:41:24 -0500

WOW! What a sobering story. I am
pLeased to hear of your successful outcome.

As faulty as we are, I feel the majority attempt to do the ‘right’ thing.