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Maj John Bell
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Edited >1 y ago
Sometimes an adjective is just an adjective. The example you cite shows a father trying to have a conversation with his son. Unless there is more your not telling us, there was no attempt to denigrate the other boy. The father used an obvious identifying characteristic to simplify the conversation. Just as in your description of the event you used the words/phrases "father" instead of parent, "son" instead of child. I do not assume you are guilty of misandry (the hatred or dislike of men or boys). Nor do I assume that because you also used; "white family" instead of family and "white parents" instead of parents and "mostly white team" that you are using the word "white" as a pejorative.

I challenge you to tell the same story without using any reference to gender or race, and still make your point.

I had the good fortune to serve on embassy duty, accompanied, in Kenya for over two years. My daughter was five and my son three when we started the tour. We never really discussed race with our kids one way or another. Instead of the DoD International School of Kenya, that was mostly Diplomatic Europeans and Central Asians, or expatriates; we put our kids in the private school where affluent Kenyans sent their kids. My wife and I thought it would be good for them to be the minority. They were the only "white" kids in their school of about 250. For the most part they were treated well. 27 years later my daughter still corresponds with her three best "mates". But they also ran into some kids who were not so nice and used race as an easy lash.
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SSG Trust Palmer
SSG Trust Palmer
>1 y
I appreciate your response. Maj John Bell My story is just that, mine. I will not adjust to fit the narrative of others.

Living in Kenya must have been an amazing experience for your children. I wish my children could have had the same experience when they were younger. It sounds like you and your wife did an awesome job with raising your children. Thank you!
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SPC Britanny *Winnie* Balthaser
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SSG Trust Palmer
Definitely, something learned or taught. Especially as a young child. I'm trying to teach my daughter that there are many different people in the world. We have a neighbor that has a daughter with special needs and I have to remind Eyrie (my daughter) that sometimes people learn at different paces, but it doesn't make them any different nor does how they look, what clothes they have on, or their religion. Haven't had the issue of race come up yet, she is 6. But we are a military family so usually live in or around a diverse group of people. It is sad that we even have to have a conversation with our kids about race, it shouldn't even enter their minds. But someone plants a seed and then it grows into a weed.

Religion is also another topic that can be disheartening to talk about with kids. I grew up in a predominately LDS (Mormon) area, wasn't Mormon but Baptist. And trust me when I say as a little kid I knew I was not the norm, once I got older it was apparent in some groups if you weren't their religion you didn't get the same treatment. Sad, that's why I left. My brother didn't see it the same way, but I guess I was unwilling to conform to their standards.

Not to take away from the Race issue. We need more men like him. Too bad that group of parents didn't get to hear him have something to say about it. Some people really need to check themselves and their own at the door. Race doesn't belong on a playground and I feel sad for that little girl that she will eventually alienate herself because of what she is either being taught or is learned.

I am still hopeful we can become better people. Thanks for the share!
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SSG Trust Palmer
SSG Trust Palmer
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SPC Britanny *Winnie* Balthaser thanks for responding and giving other examples.
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SrA Edward Vong
SrA Edward Vong
>1 y
SPC Britanny *Winnie* Balthaser
I had similar experiences with religion when I was younger. I went to a Catholic school (because the public schools in my area were dangerous), and while not being Catholic myself, was treated slightly differently. I did understand that I wasn't able to do everything such as communion, etc. but still felt treated like an outsider from some of the teachers (more specifically the nuns).
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MGySgt James Forward
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Lived in upstate New York above Albany. Had been there for four years, and it was MLK day so I decided to take my 9 year son shopping for antiques with me as there was a neat shop I wanted to look at. I selected a $450 Fort Edward pottery jug that I wanted for me collection to purchase. As I was standing in line with my son, the owner stated that he did not know what the big fuss about MLK was and that it was only National "N" Day. Now there were probably 10-12 folks in his shop and about half left immediately including my son and I. An no I did not purchase the jug. He wants to be class jerk and spout off with racist BS and reserve the right to buy elsewhere. to balance your post you really should have "Blue Lives Matter" too. We all bleed red, Semper fi.
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SSG Trust Palmer
SSG Trust Palmer
>1 y
MGySgt James Forward Thank you for responding and sharing your experience. I didn't include "Blue" as it didn't pertain to my post.
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MGySgt James Forward
MGySgt James Forward
>1 y
Shortly after this occurred, my family and I sold our house and got out of that area before our son was infected with backwards thinks. Semper Fi.
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