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Apparently there has been another school shooting. I haven't had the news on for a few days. Am tired of hearing about covid, and tired of excessive advertising so know nothing about it.
The passage, below, that Rachel Macy Stafford shared from her book "Live Love Now" published in 2020, is in response to a previous school shooting. It is about good parenting. As we all know good parenting is also a great foundation for developing leadership skills. School shootings did not happen in earlier decades when many of us were growing up. It must be extremely difficult for parents to have to be concerned about the issue of school shootings.
"After checking in with my younger daughter, I went to my older daughter’s room. She hadn’t said much about the school shooting. I figured since it did not directly impact her life, it was not on her radar.
I could’ve not been more wrong.
“Lay with me,” my daughter said. I hadn’t heard that in a while. With arms around her, I waited quietly to see what might come.
What came was more information than even I knew about the shooting.
What came were details from a video taken by a student in one of the classrooms.
What came was a detailed plan of what she’d do in a similar situation, and how she’d contact me if she couldn’t use her phone.
What came was a conversation about listening to your instincts when something feels “off.”
What came was talk of the benefits of therapy and counseling. She said, “Everyone needs someone who will just listen to them sometimes.”
All at once, I realized both my kids, in their own unique ways, needed to talk through what they were seeing and hearing.
All at once, I realized they both had good instincts around keeping themselves safe that I could affirm and expand through recurring talks.
All at once, I realized the power in asking open-ended questions, so my kids could tell me where THEY needed more information, rather than inserting my fears and assumptions into the conversation.
All at once, I realized my kids knew the vital importance – the life-saving potential – of listening.
For adults to listen to kids
For kids to listen to each other
I thought about my current anchor, a powerful quote by David W. Augsburger: “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”
I’m quite certain that those of us reunited with loved ones on Wednesday night felt the preciousness of that reunion deeply and loved especially well. But there is something that seems even more critical these days than unconditional love – and that is unconditional attention.
It is asking hard questions and leaning in…
It is turning off the TV and leaving the phone in another room…
It is lying beside them until the words come…
It is releasing judgement and holding space…
It is not assuming a person is “fine” because they don’t have much to say.
It is being available—not just in the wake of tragedy—but every day, so there’s a foundation already in place when trouble arises, and support is needed."
-Rachel Macy Stafford http://www.handsfreemama.com/
Apparently there has been another school shooting. I haven't had the news on for a few days. Am tired of hearing about covid, and tired of excessive advertising so know nothing about it.
The passage, below, that Rachel Macy Stafford shared from her book "Live Love Now" published in 2020, is in response to a previous school shooting. It is about good parenting. As we all know good parenting is also a great foundation for developing leadership skills. School shootings did not happen in earlier decades when many of us were growing up. It must be extremely difficult for parents to have to be concerned about the issue of school shootings.
"After checking in with my younger daughter, I went to my older daughter’s room. She hadn’t said much about the school shooting. I figured since it did not directly impact her life, it was not on her radar.
I could’ve not been more wrong.
“Lay with me,” my daughter said. I hadn’t heard that in a while. With arms around her, I waited quietly to see what might come.
What came was more information than even I knew about the shooting.
What came were details from a video taken by a student in one of the classrooms.
What came was a detailed plan of what she’d do in a similar situation, and how she’d contact me if she couldn’t use her phone.
What came was a conversation about listening to your instincts when something feels “off.”
What came was talk of the benefits of therapy and counseling. She said, “Everyone needs someone who will just listen to them sometimes.”
All at once, I realized both my kids, in their own unique ways, needed to talk through what they were seeing and hearing.
All at once, I realized they both had good instincts around keeping themselves safe that I could affirm and expand through recurring talks.
All at once, I realized the power in asking open-ended questions, so my kids could tell me where THEY needed more information, rather than inserting my fears and assumptions into the conversation.
All at once, I realized my kids knew the vital importance – the life-saving potential – of listening.
For adults to listen to kids
For kids to listen to each other
I thought about my current anchor, a powerful quote by David W. Augsburger: “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”
I’m quite certain that those of us reunited with loved ones on Wednesday night felt the preciousness of that reunion deeply and loved especially well. But there is something that seems even more critical these days than unconditional love – and that is unconditional attention.
It is asking hard questions and leaning in…
It is turning off the TV and leaving the phone in another room…
It is lying beside them until the words come…
It is releasing judgement and holding space…
It is not assuming a person is “fine” because they don’t have much to say.
It is being available—not just in the wake of tragedy—but every day, so there’s a foundation already in place when trouble arises, and support is needed."
-Rachel Macy Stafford http://www.handsfreemama.com/
The Hands Free Revolution
Posted from facebook.com
Leadership
Parenting
Mental Health
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 3
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Interesting read... we can learn a lot about our (grand)kids if we make ourselves present... & listening.
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It's disgusting to see this happen. I paid attention to my kids and their friends. I also never bought any of them pistols with high capacity magazines. Of course, I never supported the Lying Orange Hate Machine either.
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SGT Mary G.
It happens no matter who is in office. Aren't grown adults crimes probably more likely to be politically motivated than teens, since the school shootings have been happening for a long time no matter who is in office? It is usually a "screwed up kid" who people knew was experiencing more than normal teenage angst but no one seemed to know why.
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