Posted on Jun 4, 2014
Do my financial obligations to my wife change while disputing divorce?
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I'm currently disputing a divorce with my current wife, and after speaking with my nearest legal office I was informed that I, for my pay grade, am obligated to pay her $715.20 a month as support via BAH.
DOD 7000.14-R (Military Family Law) and AR 608-99 (Family Support, Child Custody, and Paternity) are the only documents I've found with legal information regarding this, but neither seem to really give me the confirmation I'm looking for on this matter as far as the current relationship status goes. (excuse my ignorance if there are more I'm unaware of)
Between the two documents I've read many different cases of obligations and exceptions that are considered financially supporting her as opposed to blatantly shoving money in her pocket.
The reason I bring this up all ties back to the divorce and protecting myself if need be, as she's sending me signs that this might try and become a barracks lawyer and try and use the finanace against me in a contested case.
To keep it short, she has had access to the money from the time I enlisted until the time we seperated and started the divorce process. But I'm finding leads that I still have to support her while disputing this divorce as well and it may be used against me.
Can anyone give me further information on this and how I can protect myself specifically from BAH being used again me, and if I am obligated to support her still - what/how much do I have to give by regulation?
DOD 7000.14-R (Military Family Law) and AR 608-99 (Family Support, Child Custody, and Paternity) are the only documents I've found with legal information regarding this, but neither seem to really give me the confirmation I'm looking for on this matter as far as the current relationship status goes. (excuse my ignorance if there are more I'm unaware of)
Between the two documents I've read many different cases of obligations and exceptions that are considered financially supporting her as opposed to blatantly shoving money in her pocket.
The reason I bring this up all ties back to the divorce and protecting myself if need be, as she's sending me signs that this might try and become a barracks lawyer and try and use the finanace against me in a contested case.
To keep it short, she has had access to the money from the time I enlisted until the time we seperated and started the divorce process. But I'm finding leads that I still have to support her while disputing this divorce as well and it may be used against me.
Can anyone give me further information on this and how I can protect myself specifically from BAH being used again me, and if I am obligated to support her still - what/how much do I have to give by regulation?
JAG
Finance
BAH
Support
Divorce
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 11
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PFC Allen,
I would have you think of this from a slightly different angle and, trust me I already know how hard this is, this is not going to be easy. I would contend you have a moral duty, as a soldier and man, to provide for her. Until there is an actual legal document ending your marriage, she is your wife. We as a culture have become cavalier about the institution of marriage and allowed ourselves to walk away from our most fundamental duties for little or no reasons. While it is much harder in the military, this why we have soldiers and warrior in the service, because we are willing to fight when lesser men and women run from the challenge. Fight for your marriage. Fight for it because you are a man, a soldier, a warrior and it is the right thing to do. Does she have her issues? Of course, that is why she was drawn to a man like you but we all have our roles in the problems AND in the solutions.
I would have you think of this from a slightly different angle and, trust me I already know how hard this is, this is not going to be easy. I would contend you have a moral duty, as a soldier and man, to provide for her. Until there is an actual legal document ending your marriage, she is your wife. We as a culture have become cavalier about the institution of marriage and allowed ourselves to walk away from our most fundamental duties for little or no reasons. While it is much harder in the military, this why we have soldiers and warrior in the service, because we are willing to fight when lesser men and women run from the challenge. Fight for your marriage. Fight for it because you are a man, a soldier, a warrior and it is the right thing to do. Does she have her issues? Of course, that is why she was drawn to a man like you but we all have our roles in the problems AND in the solutions.
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SGT William Howell
MSG Brad Sand We can also plan their demise...in our mind. You say tomato, I say as long as you don't act on it....
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MSG Brad Sand
SGT William Howell - No argument from me BUT I still try to default to she is still the mother of my child...try.
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Whatever it is you do, keep COPIES. If you have a digital scanner, scan EVERY document in and save in a specific folder. If you are sending money to her, get money orders, keep the copy of the MO in a safe place, and send it to her "return receipt". This will ensure she actually receives it and doesn't try to play the your late thing. I had it happen to me in 2011 with my ex. It's a hard lesson to learn. Pay heed and stay aware. Also, KEEP all emails. Create a specific email folder and place all correspondence in it.
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I would recommend you talk to your JAG. They won't be able to represent you, but they can advise you.
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