Posted on Oct 8, 2016
How did you deal with separation for the first time?
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I'm a newlywed. My wife has never been away from me for a period of time, but I'm used to being away from loved ones. She's clingy, but she grasping the idea of that I may be away for a while. How did you deal with it when you are your spouse went away for a while? I don't want her to succumb to separation anxiety because she couldn't handle being apart.
Marriage
Deployment
Advice
Military Family
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 19
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Hey Kevin, I'm sorry you are experiencing difficulty in this, but I would encourage her to work, build her own life and not be emotionally so dependent on you. If she has a close friend or family, that can help her with loneliness. I also took on hobbies and projects that got me thinking of other things. Stay in touch and tell her your proud of whatever she decides. Maturity and being young newlyweds can make this worse, but your relationship can grow if you work on the separation piece.
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SN Kevin Neff
Hopefully that's something I can get her to work on. I hopefully want to be somewhere where she'll have support close by so she wouldn't have to deal with it by herself.
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Col Rebecca Lorraine
SN Kevin Neff - Having a support system is helpful, but she has to step out and look for things that she can create, meet people and build her confidence. Best wishes, and maybe others will have some advice for you.
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Tread carefully... i was four months late for my WEDDING.... cutoff... that was not a good start.
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Sgt Wayne Wood
Yeah... my future first wife was not amused... in the subsequent 3years of the marriage we were only together an aggregate total of 13 months... 50% absent. If the Marines wanted you to have a wife, they'd issue one. If you are subject ti frequent or long deployments think about this... God/church community will help.
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You said you are newly weds and you both are probably still new to the military. Has she ever lived independently or lived by herself for any real amount of time? Does she work? Do you have kids? Has she gone to college or does she have a skill? If she isn't working, why not? What does she do when you are at work? What happens if you don't answer her calls when you are at work?
These are questions I would ask my Marines when they had a clingy wife. The answers to the questions helped push the direction of the help required.
She definitely should go see a counselor...that probably means you will go with her to a session or two, as well.
These are questions I would ask my Marines when they had a clingy wife. The answers to the questions helped push the direction of the help required.
She definitely should go see a counselor...that probably means you will go with her to a session or two, as well.
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SN Kevin Neff
I'm prior service and am re-enlisting. Went to college. Works from home. I have a kid, we don't. She normally sleeps(3rd shift work). I agree, I think a session or two would help.
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GySgt (Join to see)
I would recommend marriage counseling. Not that your marriage is in trouble but eventually all that will start to weigh you down and start detracting from what you can give to with your career. Like others have stated, if she has a life that doesn't necessarily revolve around you, it will give you things to talk about and help her get a sense of independence which will enhance your relationship.SN Kevin Neff -
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GySgt (Join to see)
I forgot to mention that it is admirable that you are trying to make this work. Hopefully you can get the guidance that will make this work out and allow you to do what you want in the Navy. SN Kevin Neff -
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