100% Profile Completion Assistance Requested

I'm 3 battle buddies short from having a 100% completion rating on my profile.

Feel free to interpret this post as a cry for help. Go ahead and look at this as a, 'Yup, got that box checked' promotion board style requirement.

I am now holding formal interviews for contacts..(you DO see my tongue firmly poking in my cheek, right?)

I only have some very basic standards that potential buddies must meet; these are minimum requirements:

1. If you're in the Chairforce: You must know how to spell the phrase, "PT Test" AND know someone who has passed one.

2. If you're a Jarhead: You MUST be able to point to the United States on a globe, AND be able to provide at least ONE disparaging term for each branch of the other services.

3. If you're a Squid: You are REQUIRED to prove that, during deployment, you have successfully sent back to the kitchen, a steak that was cooked medium rare, rather than rare like you ordered in the FIRST DAMN PLACE! AND also show that the cook stood a Captain’s Mast for this dereliction of duty.

4. If you're a Coastie: You should be able to show (with documentation) that you spent an ENTIRE night (yes, the dark can be scary) on board a sea-going vessel AND previously bitched about how the CG was under the DoT, but now (Thank God!) is a member of the DoD family.

5. If you're a Dog-faced grunt, Mud-Muncher: You're automatically in. Congrats on joining a real military service!