Posted on Aug 24, 2018
What is it that keeps some of you from leaving the military?
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Hey Rallypoint,
Long time no see. I just got done with my second tour, and I’m finally coming up on my ETS date from the reserve this upcoming March. During my terminal leave, I got to visit good friends and family, eat stupidly good food and drink some stupidly good alcohol (Uber was always involved, full disclaimer), and go on a really awesome month long trip to Iceland, Scotland, and Spain. In short, I got to do all the things that traditionally make soldiers realize how good life is outside of the military, and make them leave before retirement.
I’m due to ETS this upcoming March at what will be my 9 year anniversary, which is just under the “crap or get off the pot” marker. I came away from this last deployment with a profound sense of bitterness with the military, and particularly the kind of low-grade, self-serving, spineless individuals that seem to be infesting the ranks at all echelons. My personal situation is that I live a phenomenal life in Phoenix: I make a solid amount of money working for a bank, have a great network of actual friends, and generally get to travel two to three times a year for vacation. I keep telling myself that I’ve got it *really damned good*, and that I should just get out while I can.
I was lucky that USERRA exists, and I still have a great job that’s 100% supportive of my secondary career, and that my support network is still here. I don’t know why I keep thinking about reenlistment, in spite of everything that happened. I’m not 100% physically, and emotionally/spiritually, I’m probably not at full capacity either, but I love the job. I know that I’m going to miss a lot of my fellow NCOs, many of whom trained me when I enlisted eight years ago.
I guess my end questions are for the lifers. How do you keep doing it? When you have to support something that you find spiritually or morally incongruent with your own viewpoints, what is it that keeps you going? Do you ever regret not getting out and being a regular person? At what point is it okay to walk away?
Long time no see. I just got done with my second tour, and I’m finally coming up on my ETS date from the reserve this upcoming March. During my terminal leave, I got to visit good friends and family, eat stupidly good food and drink some stupidly good alcohol (Uber was always involved, full disclaimer), and go on a really awesome month long trip to Iceland, Scotland, and Spain. In short, I got to do all the things that traditionally make soldiers realize how good life is outside of the military, and make them leave before retirement.
I’m due to ETS this upcoming March at what will be my 9 year anniversary, which is just under the “crap or get off the pot” marker. I came away from this last deployment with a profound sense of bitterness with the military, and particularly the kind of low-grade, self-serving, spineless individuals that seem to be infesting the ranks at all echelons. My personal situation is that I live a phenomenal life in Phoenix: I make a solid amount of money working for a bank, have a great network of actual friends, and generally get to travel two to three times a year for vacation. I keep telling myself that I’ve got it *really damned good*, and that I should just get out while I can.
I was lucky that USERRA exists, and I still have a great job that’s 100% supportive of my secondary career, and that my support network is still here. I don’t know why I keep thinking about reenlistment, in spite of everything that happened. I’m not 100% physically, and emotionally/spiritually, I’m probably not at full capacity either, but I love the job. I know that I’m going to miss a lot of my fellow NCOs, many of whom trained me when I enlisted eight years ago.
I guess my end questions are for the lifers. How do you keep doing it? When you have to support something that you find spiritually or morally incongruent with your own viewpoints, what is it that keeps you going? Do you ever regret not getting out and being a regular person? At what point is it okay to walk away?
Retirement
Military Career
Civilian Career
ETS/EAS
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 20
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For what I understand on your last paragraph you already made a desicion. There is nothing wrong on ETSing after completing your time. A full military career takes a lot from your both physically and emotionally. I got out and went to college and 3years later was back in after experiencing that the military life was definitely for me; but I wouldn’t know without that short break in service.
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Sound like you are doing well with your civilian life and by your answer, you already made a decision and just want confirmation from us. I tend to take offense when I used hear soldiers say, ‘I can’t wait to get out,’ or refer me as a ‘lifer.’ Those can be misinterpreted as “prison” terms and I CERTAINLY was not in prison and I WAS a ‘regular person’ as you put it. For me, I enlisted because I was unemployed and uneducated. As life would have it, twenty-five years later, I ended up unemployed (I have employment now) and a Master’s Degree. The military is what you make it and some people are just not made for the military. Good luck.
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SGT William B.
This is a fair answer. Some close friends are telling me “re-enlist, re-enlist”, and it’s hard not to get a bit sentimental about the past few years, so in short, yes, I probably needed to hear something to this effect outside of my own little sphere. I apologize for making military service sound either lesser or abnormal, that wasn’t my intent, just a poor choice of words I’ll have to live with.
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Apparently in your opinion there is something spiritually or morally wrong with the Military and anyone who decides to go past the “crap or get off the pot” point is not a regular person. Just the question is sort of insulting. Nothing kept me from getting out, things kept me from staying in longer. Since the Military is obviously not for you, you should just get out and not try to justify it by making it appear you are making the smart choice and those that do dedicate their lives to the Military are somehow abnormal. If this was a conversation with a bunch of guys siting around at a range or someplace I would laugh and tell you it's ok that you do not like the Military, get the heck out, and just to cover all the bases I might throw in a get fu****.
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SGT William B.
Yeahhhh, that was a poor choice of words apparently, I didn’t realize “lifer” is considered derogatory in some circles (it’s something I’ve heard a bit in my own relatively shallow experience).
With regard to the “crap or get off the pot” comment, I think what I meant in a really hamfisted manner was that around the ten year mark is generally when people have to make that decision to stay in or get out, because any reenlistment beyond that tends to go into careerist status.
With regard to the “crap or get off the pot” comment, I think what I meant in a really hamfisted manner was that around the ten year mark is generally when people have to make that decision to stay in or get out, because any reenlistment beyond that tends to go into careerist status.
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