Posted on Oct 27, 2019
Will being in a relationship with a convicted felon affect my military career?
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I am currently dating a convicted felon he has assault and drug charges and we are talking about getting married, will it affect my military career. I am a guy also.
Dating
Marriage
Military Career
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 24
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You can bet any security clearance you have or want will be affected greatly
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LTC Jason Mackay
If the spouse has a record, you can also depend on them not being hired by FMWR or as a DA/DOD civilian employee.
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Why would you? Okay - so my ex husband is a felon; however, I have known him since we were like 18. I joined the Army, he married someone else didn't see each other for awhile. When I got with him again after his divorce and I was closer to home, he had some DUIs and I think a burglary felony at that point from years before. I had no clue; however, how bad of a meth addict he had turned into until it was too late. It did affect my career because all the stress from his drug addiction, his lying, stealing, cheating and then on top of that eventually our daughter's medical issues - it took a toll on me at work. I was in a compassionate reassignment then but I could tell I turned into someone I didn't like. Because of him.
I was only married to him for a year and divorced due to his drug abuse which a few times resulted in physical abuse. ALso he mooched most of my savings. Now I have had a clearance the whole time and it didn't affect my clearance. By the time I had my last PR we were divorced so I just had to explain all that. If we had stayed married not sure what would have happened.
However - if I had met him in our 30s with all his stuff he has now there's no way in hell I'd have ever been with him. Never.
Do yourself a favor and break up with that and run. Do not get involved with a felon. I don't care if he's been clean or stable or whatever he says. Assault and drug charges - he's going to use again. He's going to assault someone again and possibly you. My ex husband has a felony assault conviction against me. Two years ago (we divorced in 2015) he got arrested for burglary the day after our daughter's transplant. And possession. He ended up getting plead down to trespassing because "technically" his friend busted in the door. He got out last year in Nov - and on post release - and he's getting his post release revoked with a month left.
Some people change - some people don't. I'm telling you right now don't get married to this guy. If you plan to stay in stay away from guys like that. You can do better.
I was only married to him for a year and divorced due to his drug abuse which a few times resulted in physical abuse. ALso he mooched most of my savings. Now I have had a clearance the whole time and it didn't affect my clearance. By the time I had my last PR we were divorced so I just had to explain all that. If we had stayed married not sure what would have happened.
However - if I had met him in our 30s with all his stuff he has now there's no way in hell I'd have ever been with him. Never.
Do yourself a favor and break up with that and run. Do not get involved with a felon. I don't care if he's been clean or stable or whatever he says. Assault and drug charges - he's going to use again. He's going to assault someone again and possibly you. My ex husband has a felony assault conviction against me. Two years ago (we divorced in 2015) he got arrested for burglary the day after our daughter's transplant. And possession. He ended up getting plead down to trespassing because "technically" his friend busted in the door. He got out last year in Nov - and on post release - and he's getting his post release revoked with a month left.
Some people change - some people don't. I'm telling you right now don't get married to this guy. If you plan to stay in stay away from guys like that. You can do better.
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LTC (Join to see)
SPC (Join to see) - don't settle. Better to be alone than to be with the wrong one. Get a dog....
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SFC (Join to see)
SPC (Join to see) - Trust me - been there, done that. I know how you feel. You can do better. You do not have to settle for criminals and abusers. I swear I know how you feel and been in that mindset. If you need to talk just message me any time. But please, get away from this guy. It's a lot easier with him in jail. But he will do nothing but take advantage of you. It is not worth it.
No one can make choices in your life but I lived it. Get out before he knocks you up and you are tied to him forever.
No one can make choices in your life but I lived it. Get out before he knocks you up and you are tied to him forever.
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LTC (Join to see)
Experience has taught that 99% of the time they will bring you down to their level, you will not bring them up to yours..... If you put a rotten piece of fruit in a bowl of good fruit, the rot will spread to all the other fruit in the bowl.
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SFC (Join to see)
People like you?? Womanly advice.....You should NEVER settle. If YOU feel you don’t deserve better, you will always settle for less. Settling for less never has a happily ever after because you haven’t realize you’re worth more. Work on YOU first and stop trying to fix someone thinking they’re be loyal to you because trust me, you’re just a stepping stone for them to get where they’re trying to go. He can see your weakness and your lack of self-esteem, which is why he’s telling you everything you want to hear, but there’s no meaning in the words. Secondly, if you receive orders for an overseas assignment, depending on the country, he will not be able to go. Third, if he decides to use or sell drugs again and the police comes to your home and discover drugs in your home, you’re going to be held accountable for the drugs as well so you can kiss your career goodbye because now you’re pending a drug charge. Stop trying to save broken people that don’t want to be saved. Work on you do you can become a better version of you....SPC (Join to see)
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Steady! Be professional and fully aware of his background . SPC (Join to see)
One of the kids’ from the old neighborhood went to a Psychologist
for confirmation of success and long term prospects before he married his second wife.
Current cost and delay is nothing compared to long term havoc!
EDIT — Bobbie also had the prospective bride undergo compatabile testing.
One of the kids’ from the old neighborhood went to a Psychologist
for confirmation of success and long term prospects before he married his second wife.
Current cost and delay is nothing compared to long term havoc!
EDIT — Bobbie also had the prospective bride undergo compatabile testing.
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