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Recently, I was given a worksheet to fill out that would record my last wishes in the event of my death in the line of duty. Hopefully it will never be needed, but here are some things that I would prefer NOT be done in the event of my untimely demise:
1) Do not make or contribute to a makeshift memorial on the side of the road that some sanitation worker will eventually have to clean up. If you feel you have to pay your respects somehow, send a few bucks to CG Mutual Assistance, the Gideon's, the VFW, or some other charity instead.
2) Do not name a section of road, bridge, or other utilitarian inanimate object after me or in my honor. If I was important enough to remember, put it on a sign in an appropriate location - like a DO NOT LITTER sign in a cemetery.
3) Do not use my SGLI or insurance money to buy a new car and then put a little vinyl decal in the back window that says 'In Memory of.' Just be happy with your new ride - no guilt sticker required.
4) Do not get a tattoo with a portrait of me in my memory. If you want to ink your body that is your business, but I don't want my portrait in the shower with you. We weren't that close.
5) Do not get upset if protesters show up at my funeral. Bring them a plate of sandwiches. Once you have gained their trust and distracted them, grab their stupid signs and beat them silly with them. If you get arrested claim that my ghost told you to do it. I’ll be watching and I’ll put in a good word for you. (Just kidding - I support the idea that they are excerising their 1st Ammendment rights.) wink wink
What would you add?
1) Do not make or contribute to a makeshift memorial on the side of the road that some sanitation worker will eventually have to clean up. If you feel you have to pay your respects somehow, send a few bucks to CG Mutual Assistance, the Gideon's, the VFW, or some other charity instead.
2) Do not name a section of road, bridge, or other utilitarian inanimate object after me or in my honor. If I was important enough to remember, put it on a sign in an appropriate location - like a DO NOT LITTER sign in a cemetery.
3) Do not use my SGLI or insurance money to buy a new car and then put a little vinyl decal in the back window that says 'In Memory of.' Just be happy with your new ride - no guilt sticker required.
4) Do not get a tattoo with a portrait of me in my memory. If you want to ink your body that is your business, but I don't want my portrait in the shower with you. We weren't that close.
5) Do not get upset if protesters show up at my funeral. Bring them a plate of sandwiches. Once you have gained their trust and distracted them, grab their stupid signs and beat them silly with them. If you get arrested claim that my ghost told you to do it. I’ll be watching and I’ll put in a good word for you. (Just kidding - I support the idea that they are excerising their 1st Ammendment rights.) wink wink
What would you add?
Death
Humor
Edited 9 y ago
Posted 9 y ago
Responses: 1
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