Which lifestyle is better for officers? Active duty vs. GS+ Reserve?

I've been Active, Guard and now Reserve and they are all a little different. You will run into issues with people in any organization, not just the military. Moving alot is a challenge unless you stay single or have a family that is committed to the lifestyle.
I would focus on having a plan to get off active duty the entire time you are active. If you have a plan for that it doesn't really matter if you make 20. I resigned off active duty at 17 years and took a government civilian position. It's probably the best career move I ever made. I am on track to pick up my last few years of active service and retirement only a few years behind my peers but I'll have my civilian position waiting for me when I do.

There are no bad choices here, only different ones.

Feel free to contact me if you'd like.

If you must ask this, please go reserves.

If you're a 1LT then you probably joined under the Blended Retirement system. Since you're fairly new it's understandable that you aren't very familiar with retirement pay yet. While the BRS pension is less than the legacy, you will still net a pretty penny in retirement. If you stay to retirement you will be an O4 at the very least. If you look at O4 at 20 years right now, that's $8574. 40% of that is $3429. Of course, that's your pretax amount. After federal taxes that is $3167 a month at today's rate. That amount will increase every year with the same pay raises as the military. That's about $35k a year, certainly not enough to raise a family for a young LT but actually more than enough for someone who has paid off their house and car before separation.

But wait - there's more. Because you will be retired after 20 years you will also receive your disability as well. Of course, you aren't disabled and there is no reason to expect you will be. But all that normal wear and tear of 20 years are claimable. It's not uncommon for people to receive 100% complete and total ratings after 20 years. 20 years of anything will take a toll on your body. What's claimable, you might ask? That rotator cuff that sticks because you didn't learn proper bench press technique. That neck injury from the jerk that rear ended you. That wrist and back pain from sitting and typing all day. Plantar fasciitis from being on your feet in boots all day. That torn meniscus from coming down wrong playing basketball with your kids. Any surgeries or injuries you have while on active duty. If they're injuries incurred during training events like NTC or a deployment there are added tax incentives as well. The pay for 100% rating with your spouse (assuming your kids are grown) is $3100 a month. 90% is around $2000 a month. It increases incrementally with more dependents. Possibly all of it tax free. So now you're looking at $5,000-6,000 a month post tax. That's enough money that you can take a job you want vs a job you need.

There are additional benefits as well. Tricare health insurance is very inexpensive compared to civilian or even GS employee health insurance. That's a savings of hundreds or even thousands of dollars a month. Depending on your rating you may even qualify for education benefits for your children. There are more compensations that go to it as well. My wife explained them to me when she was a PEBLO, but the VA has a dizzying amount of rules, formulas and benefits I could never wrap my head around all of it.

I can tell you that now that I'm at 19 years the sense of freedom I feel knowing that I can walk away to anywhere in the world and not need a certain pay level to survive. I could keep doing what I'm doing now, I could move to another country with a lower cost of living and live off my pension or I could pick up a GS job and move around the world a few times.

I know plenty of retired E7s who bought a home and paid it off before retirement, who now live very comfortably doing a low stress job they enjoy simply because of their pension. It is absolutely the best perk to the military and it can't be beat.