Do you have any Humor in Uniform stories to share?

Long, long ago, in a submarine far, far away...

It was a midshipman cruise... every summer, some of the Naval Academy midshipmen (3rd year, I think) go out to the fleet for a taste of what the Navy is really like.

We're underway, it's late at night, and the middies are watching a movie in crew's mess. It was "Lost Boys" - I'll never forget it. Anyway, a couple of the saltier nukes decided it would be fun to "interrupt" the scary move.

They took about three or four green glow sticks, activated 'em, broke 'em open and smeared them all over one of the other nukes. He stumbles up into the darkened crew's mess, gurgles some nonsense crap, then pretends to pass out on the floor - right in the middle of crew's mess.

Three more nukes show up - wearing full anti-C's (canary suits) with respirators and everything. Two of 'em grab the first guy and drag him off. The third guy wipes up the floor and turns around to leave. He stops, turns back to the middies and growls in his best halting Darth Vader respirator speak... "No one (inhale) saw anything (inhale). Nothing (inhale)." and scurries off after the others.

If there had been crickets on that sub, even THEY would have been dumbstruck...

Captain told us that it was "... the funniest damn'd thing I've ever seen done to a bunch of plebes" then OFFICIALLY told us "... don't you EVER do that again!"

And THAT is why the 1988 graduating class of Annapolis had more officers go USMC than anytime in the previous 10 years...

I always have to laugh that in Kandahar AFB the main laundry point is less than 100M from the poop pond. Your clothes maybe freshly laundered but EVERYTHING smells like cr@p!

OK at PO1 John Miller 's request, the follow on to the first post which got me free drinks for the rest of the deployment. The XO recovered but was as obnoxious as ever. He'd mess up anything. Nerves were raw and we needed a break from him. He always wanted to see the South Pole. I told him the way to do it was to get on the first plane of the "double shuttle". The way it worked was the first ski equipped C-130 would launch followed by the second about 2-3 hours later. The first would land and give time for offload and launch. The second would then come in and repeat the process. Ground time for a visitor was 3 hours or so. Enough time for a tour and lunch.

So one day I ran into the HQ building and told the XO to hurry up the double shuttle was on. He grabbed his survival gear and launched. The Skipper was in stitches saying "Kev, there's no double shuttle today." Apparently he needed a break too. So our XO got a two week all expenses paid vacation at the South Pole. I wanted to pay the Stationmaster for his trouble so sent a case of Scotch down. The XO returned with a sealed note for me. "You owe us two more cases." Gee XO, the second flight went down hard for parts. Humma humma humma. My VXE-6 buddies forged the maintenance log to back me up. They had enough of him too.

That's how you drink free. Give people their freedom and you're a hero.