Posted on Jan 24, 2023
SGT Transportation Management Coordinator
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While I was deployed, I found out my husband was unfaithful and having extramarital affair with a Pfc from another unit. Him being a SGT. This was not the first time he was unfaithful to me prior adultery affairs. I gathered evidence, such as confessions from previous mistresses and pictures of him being unfaithful, such as kissing, hugging text
Messages showing him being affectionate, making comments like saying I love you to them and he’s so proud to have them as there are lover etc.

Now with this Pfc , I confronted her, and I let her know my husband was married to me, and that it would be smart. If she let us figure out these issues, and to leave him alone. this Pfc was around my child. She showered in my bathroom. She stayed in my house. She slept on my bed. She had sex on my bed. She sent me pictures of them with him on top of her, kissing her on the head and I was able to get pictures from her of them holding hands with his tattoos showing. He has abandoned me in order to be with this girl, and she claimed I was harassing her when I was asking her and begging her to leave my husband alone and let us figure things out on our own upon returning from my deployment. He and she continues the affair upon my return from deployment, and she lied to my commander about not seeing him yet she was caught with him the very same day she lied to my commander and claimed harassment.

The affair is continuing, but I don’t have any new evidence. My husband has been flagged for four months now and today he claims to have a second reading with his battalion commander.

During this whole investigation, I provided sworn statements with dates, timelines, pictures, telephonic confessions from the mistress ( she did not know she was being recorded) but it is legal in my state to record a conversation. How likely is my husband to be punished and what are the punishments looking like this has affected my mental health upon returning from deployment, knowing that I lost my entire family in my home due to the selfish actions of my husband and his private first class who knew what they were doing and had no remorse for the family I am now mourning. Not only is it affecting myself, but it is affecting our child as well..
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Responses: 78
COL Randall C.
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Edited 4 mo ago
Working backwards ... the textbook answer first about what punishment could he face.

Technically there is no separate article of 'adultery' in the military (i.e., there is not a specific article of UCMJ regarding it). However, it IS a crime and is prosecuted under Article 134 which is the "General" or 'catch-all' article for doing stuff you shouldn't do (specifically, Article 134 - Extramarital Sexual Conduct).

Fraternization is also prosecuted in the military under the same article.

Article 134—General article
Though not specifically mentioned in this chapter, all disorders and neglects to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces, all conduct of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces, and crimes and offenses not capital, of which persons subject to this chapter may be guilty, shall be taken cognizance of by a general, special, or summary court-martial, according to the nature and degree of the offense, and shall be punished at the discretion of that court.

If found guilty, the maximum punishment for adultery under Article 134 is a Dishonorable Discharge, forfeiture of all pay and allowances, and confinement for one year.

Now to the question of "how likely".

Assuming what you say is factual (no offense, but I have no experience with you other than you're an account on a social media platform, so I'll just talk in hypotheticals), the evidence of fraternization and an extramarital affair seems pretty solid. If so, it will likely come down to the judgement of his chain of command and any absolutes you are given by anyone else is a guess.

I won't begin to guess the thought process of his commander and where he comes down on these actions. One commander will do everything in his power to hold your soon-to-be-ex (by your account, that's probably what should happen) accountable while others will just want to be rid of the bad seed as soon as possible.
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COL Randall C.
COL Randall C.
4 mo
CPT Lawrence Cable - The "50 cases in a million" comment out of context.
Looking at the ACMPRS, there are less than "50 cases in a million Soldier Army" for a LOT of charges - espionage, sexual assault on a minor, etc.

IF you were to know how many situations met all the elements* of being charged under article 134 for adultery/extramarital sexual conduct and how many of those cases actually were charged, then you could make the comparison accurately. Since the ACMPRS only shows active courts-martial cases (currently 1620) and does not show NJP, your comment regarding 50 cases isn't accurate, but I'll leave it to you to go down the rabbit hole even further.

I have no doubt what you said is accurate regarding your personal observations, but it isn't representative of what happens throughout the military. My response was to your statements implying that it rarely is pursued in the military ("I've never saw an Article 15 for Adultery or Extramarital sexual Conduct", "personally have never seen anyone actually charged with Adultery", etc) and even the current snapshot in time from the various service court systems shows otherwise.
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* Elements of article 134 - Extramarital sexual conduct:
(1) That the accused wrongfully engaged in extramarital conduct as described in subparagraph c.(2) with a certain person;
(2) That, at the time, the accused knew that the accused or the other person was married to someone else; and
(3) That, under the circumstances, the conduct of the accused was "to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces" and/or "was of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces"
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COL Randall C.
COL Randall C.
4 mo
SSG Richard Bladl - I think the response I just gave CPT Cable above should answer your question. Regarding an extramarital affair, the military doesn't concern itself with the conduct between two consenting adults unless it impacts "the good order and discipline of the armed forces" and/or "is of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces".

There are many opinion pieces that you will see about the military needing to get rid of "adultery" because it is rarely pursued on the civilian side and isn't illegal in many states (it's a civil matter between spouses).

However, Article 134 covers any activities that meet those two criteria I mentioned. The reason that Article 134 is often referred to as the "catch-all" Article is that ANY conduct that is prejudicial to the good order and discipline in the armed forces, conduct of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces, and crimes and offenses that are not capital, can be punished under it.

Even if the specific guidance for adultery/extramarital sexual conduct were taken out of the manual (i.e., "adultery was gotten rid of"), it would still be pursued if it met any of those elements above.

The primary focus for pursuing an Article 134 will always be one of those two elements. If at least one of those elements is not present (it is neither prejudicial to the good order and discipline nor is it of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces), then it wouldn't (or rather, it would be improper and shouldn't) be charged.
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SSG Richard Bladl
SSG Richard Bladl
4 mo
Thank you, I didn't see your earlier response. It was fairly common when I was active duty 63-71 and never heard of disciplinary action.
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SMSgt Kevin Townsend
SMSgt Kevin Townsend
19 h
There was a time in America, long since passed, where the majority of people held to a stricter moral code. This strict morality infused the armed forces, specifically commissioned officers who were the guardians of "good order and discipline." Over the decades things have changed. In 1970 Stephen Stills show the loosening of morality when he penned these lyrics in his song: "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with..." In my experience many, maybe even most, commanders are reluctant to charge this type of immoral behavior. It is still illegal under the UCMJ, but my best estimate is that the commander will do as little as possible in his/her quest to rid himself of this NCO. My view is this: If a subordinate lies to his wife, he certainly will lie to his commander and superiors. If they cannot trust him, they should have no need for his services. As to what his specific commander will do, it will be a roll of the dice. Best wishes to you.
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SGT Unit Supply Specialist
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a leopard's spots never change... time to seek counseling for you & your child and move on with your lives.

Spoken from someone who has experienced your unfortunate circumstance.
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Michele Olson
Michele Olson
9 mo
I hear you. And to those that are doing this with a married soldier while they are protecting us and our country... man or woman.
“If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you’ll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.” — Ann Landers
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CPT Diana Davis
CPT Diana Davis
1 mo
I understand your need for retribution, I hope you get it, if NOT you must move on and find someone to help you deal with the trauma
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MSG Intermediate Care Technician
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Edited >1 y ago
Look up Article 134 in the Manual of Courts Martial for Adultery. Those punishments listed are the possible outcomes. Your husband and PFC could face reduction in rank and pay. They could also be kicked out of the Army. But, honestly, their punishment(s) would be at the discretion of the convening authority. Turn and burn both of them, I say.
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SGT C Reed
SGT C Reed
6 mo
SPC (Join to see) - She said the the woman her husband is cheating with gave her the photos. Read her post again "She sent me pictures of them"
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SGT Russell Colburn
SGT Russell Colburn
4 mo
In 1982 I believe it was, I escorted a PVT to his Court Marshal in Berlin. The case before us was just wrapping up. It was a SFC that had been spanking the monkey with another Soldiers Wife. He was found guilty. Not given any jail time. But reduced in Rank to Pvt.
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SFC Jerald Bottcher
SFC Jerald Bottcher
1 mo
Please see this article
https://militarylawcenter.com/military-law-areas-of-practice/military-adultery-defense-attorney/
It all depends on the circumstances around the adultery.
Since you noted that he is getting his 2nd reading from the battalion commander, It sounds like he can be reduced in rank probably to PFC or PVT. If this happens and he has more than 6 years in the service he will probably be kicked out.
The PFC from the other unit would be in big trouble as well. If she knew he was married and still went ahead and continued the affair she is as guilty as he is.
Mat they both rot!
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SGT Operating Room Ncoic
SGT (Join to see)
3 d
This right here. A lot of people don’t seem to realize that if two soldiers were to get into a relationship while the other is married to someone else the unmarried soldier can still be punished for this.

To OP, make sure you keep a back up of the evidence. From what I’ve seen you need to have visual proof of the affairs texting and word of mouth (unless directly from the person cheating) most of the time does not count. At least in the times I’ve seen spouses try to involve the command when they find out their partner was cheating.
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