Am I a bad NCO or just inexperienced?

Stripes are about leadership so don't put them on unless you want to be a leader. Yeah your the bulldog the one that might have to give orders that will but troops in harms way. You have been tasked with military discipline and authority and you have accepted the responsibility so get on with it and lead. Why are we even having this conversation.

You are in the military and took an oath to defend the Constitution. This means you are a fighting man and not in prep school, or working in a factory. When you give orders, you should expect them to be carried out. No whining, or bellyaching is allowed.

It seems like all the advice given is pretty solid, make sure you are within standards yourself, lead by example and the subordinates will respect your leadership, fall outside the standard and you will start to lose respect. You cannot enforce what you cannot attain and sustain yourself.

It's not a popularity contest. Keep doing what is right.

pick your battles and empathize with your soldiers. My team and I have a good relationship. Thus, I tell them to do something and they do it. Don't need to raise my voice. I also, don't jack with them just for the hell of it.

From what you posted there is no way to know what your leadership style is or what your personality is and therefore where your weaknesses might be. However, I'm surprised how many are insisting it's not your fault at all, that your soldiers are merely lazy and entitled; that you should continue imposing your will with blinders on. The short answer is you probably are inexperienced. Being an effective leader takes effort and desire to learn about the people you are leading. You can't lead people that you don't like. You also can't pick up the slack for these peers you refer to that aren't enforcing standards, - as you are finding out, they just aren't appreciating you, you are not their savior. Always keep an open mind and be receptive to feedback from subordinates. Keep focused on what your duties are, you are still early in your journey, no one expects you to be a great leader immediately. Being a great leader can take a while. Best of luck.

If I hadn’t looked at who the writer was, I would have thought I had wrote this comment before. Except for the “bitch” part, I was not really liked either by other NCOs or the Command, at least that’s how I perceived it and some did say, I too, was condescending. I did observe who the “favorite, likable and casual” NCOs were. Their sections ran well and those that were under them, loved them. I often questioned myself too, and feared that I would suck as an NCO. By some reactions, as least I thought so, I probably did in some areas. Live and learn. Now that I’ve been a civilian for the last eight years, the pressure is off me and if a group of civilians want to act stupid and jump off a bridge, don’t involve me! I'm done being a leader, since no one appreciated my leadership.

I am glad that you are questioning yourself. Too many do not look at themselves to assess whether they are doing what is right. As many others have said standards are established for a reason, and they are to establish a minimum level of expectations. Enforcing standard will always be looked at the mediocre as onerous and overreaching. Congratulations on making it to the NCO corps, and as long as you lead by example you will be respected by those that should be respected.

Wanting your soldiers to like you is as feckless as wanting them to fear you. You want them to respect you and to trust you, and you earn that by setting standards, enforcing them and being fair, honest and striving to be the best soldier you can be. If you worry about being a bad NCO, well, you're probably a decent NCO trying to be better. Change behaviors that make you wonder about yourself.

I am not going to give you automatic praise as everyone else here has. Why are you asking this question here? Is it really professional to air your unit's dirty laundry on a social media website? I don't think so. If you are having issues, this should be a topic of discussion with your chain of command, not strangers on RallyPoint. Because you posted this here, it does make me question your judgment. Is it really mature and disciplined to complain about your soldiers on social media? Would your superiors be happy to know you are telling the world that the troops in your unit are undisciplined? Perhaps you should look inwardly and think more about your own behavior before you try to enforce (not inforce) standards.