An Officer Corps that can't score?

No offense to any of
my officer friends or contacts, but I heard this from an officer I once served
with and thought that it would fit in really well with this discussion thread.

The Army Officers Corps

2nd
Lieutenants: After spending 4 years at Hudson High (West Point) learning
from books they come charging into their new units thinking they know it all
and don’t need to listen to any of their senior NCO’s. In essence they are
dumber than an E-1.

1st
Lieutenants: After 1 year in the service of their country they have come to
the realization that for all their book learning there is still a lot to learn,
and have begun listening to their senior NCO’s. They have developed good
listening skills and begin to apply the knowledge they have gained. They are at
least as smart as an E-3.

Captains: After 3
years serving their country they listen to their NCO’s apply what they have
learned and are not capable of standing on their own two feet. While
occasionally they need reassurance that what they are doing is of benefit to
their subordinates they are overall capable of accomplishing most missions with
little confusion. Equal in intelligence to an E-6

Majors: Have
finally gotten their stuff together and can remember where they have put it.
They are capable of accomplishing missions as they have been set before them.
They pride themselves on being able to set a good example for those officers
below them, however, they are often ignored as being a know it all.
Intelligence rating E-8

Lieutenant Colonels:
Still have their stuff together, and remember where it is. They can create
missions that would otherwise cause headaches for lesser mortals. Some would
say they can even spell difficult words without the use of a dictionary and
even use these words correctly. They are smarter than the average E-9.

Colonels: Have
their stuff together but occasionally need help in finding it. They can create
missions for the soldiers under their command; however, this usually ends up
with a radio call of Lima Lima Mike Foxtrot, from some lost patrol in the
woodline who is at best 25 yards from the company CP. This is where the
intelligence level begins to suffer. They are almost as smart as an E-5.

Brigadier Generals:
Memory is beginning to slip, hence the need for an aide-de-camp. Their biggest
problem seems to be that they are unable to remember where their car keys are;
again they need a driver to make sure they get to the meetings they have
forgotten they scheduled; now they need a secretary. Intelligence is about the
average of a Corporal.

Major Generals: No
longer able to keep their stuff together, forget about remembering where they
put it. They need even more help in keeping track of their keys, schedules, and
problems they need to handle. Surrounded by people who tell them everything is
going to be all right and there is nothing wrong with them. Average
intelligence Specialist

Lieutenant Generals:
Usually works in Division or Pentagon office, they are kept in these offices to
avoid creating more havoc than their lower ranking counterparts. Memory is
totally gone by now and feel abandoned by the people whom they considered to be
friends because their friends don’t want to see what will happen to them.
Intelligence = to Private E-2

Generals: Lost
souls wandering the halls of power, cannot find either his office or the
latrine. Intelligence of a slick sleeved private,

Please remember that this is all meant in fun. Life is what it is and most officers do a fairly good job with their skills. However, there are those who will through no fault of their own fall into one or more of these categories as they progress up the food chain. Gentlemen, please remember where you came from and how you got to where you are.