Posted on Oct 24, 2014
Anybody know where I can find a bucket of steam and bottle of bulkhead remover?
112K
854
481
65
64
1
Have you ever found yourself on mail buoy watch?
Ever been handed a kapok life vest and broom and told to fend off any monkeys that try to board during a Suez Canal transit?
How about being sent after the elusive ID10T that the chief needs right away?
I'd like to hear some of the other service gags run on the new guy. Let's hear em please!
Ever been handed a kapok life vest and broom and told to fend off any monkeys that try to board during a Suez Canal transit?
How about being sent after the elusive ID10T that the chief needs right away?
I'd like to hear some of the other service gags run on the new guy. Let's hear em please!
Culture
Military Industry
Navy
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 288
36
36
0
I got in trouble once because I told a private to tighten the turret on a HMMWV by climbing into it and turning it clockwise. After a few minutes of him turning, he said it wasn't tight, so I said "Oh, that's because its clockwise from the inside, not the outside. You're turning the wrong way."
I cringed when the 1SG walked up and asked him what he was doing.
I cringed when the 1SG walked up and asked him what he was doing.
(36)
(0)
Cpl Michael Strickler
I normally do not post anything in posts this long, i just go down the list voting my favs, but you are all amiss. These items are all part of a long kept Marine Corps secret... I really shouldn't even be telling you about this, chem light batteries are in high demand:
http://terminallance.com/2013/03/19/terminal-lance-contest-winner-narnia/
http://terminallance.com/media/comics/x2013-03-19-tlstrip.jpg.pagespeed.ic.KJM-R9F4hb.webp
http://terminallance.com/2013/03/19/terminal-lance-contest-winner-narnia/
http://terminallance.com/media/comics/x2013-03-19-tlstrip.jpg.pagespeed.ic.KJM-R9F4hb.webp
Terminal Lance - Terminal Lance Contest Winner “Narnia”
In the short timeframe for the contest I got a number of funny comic strips for consideration. Ultimately this one stood out to me the most. For those of you that are unclear, it seems Abe has stumbled upon a mythical place where the HMMWV keys, chemlight batteries and other famous fantastical Marine Corps items are stored. Of course, anyone in the Marine Corps longer than 10 minutes knows the old jokes of “Go find me a PRC-E7,” etc. This...
(2)
(0)
24
24
0
20
20
0
1. Have some PVT take exhaust fluorocarbon samples from an HMMWV using a plastic garbage bag as part of PMCS and then have him deliver it to the 1SG who has the "test meter."
2. Send a PVT to the S-4 SGT to get the "FNG mount" for the NVDs.
3. Telling new PVTs to the unit that their PSG likes to be greeted with the acronym FODA.
....I spent some time as an Enlisted Soldier before going to OCS and getting my bar.... :)
How 'bout a thumbs up for the ol'LT?????
2. Send a PVT to the S-4 SGT to get the "FNG mount" for the NVDs.
3. Telling new PVTs to the unit that their PSG likes to be greeted with the acronym FODA.
....I spent some time as an Enlisted Soldier before going to OCS and getting my bar.... :)
How 'bout a thumbs up for the ol'LT?????
(20)
(0)
SrA (Join to see)
We got some guy with the HMMWV exhaust one, but they had to take the sample and deliver it to Trans in MOPP4.
(1)
(0)
CPT Chris Loomis
Ok. I have to add a few more that I recently pulled off.
Remember my disclaimer.
20. A friend of mine, the biggest practical joker of all time, that is a civilian LEO/Detective (and can receive personal mail at his dept.) recently retired from the Air Force Reserve after 25 years of service. As a joke I signed him up for recruitment information from the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Army NG, Air Force NG, and even the Coast Guard via both postcard and Internet. About three months later he confided in me at lunch that he had received recruitment "propaganda" for some time that included DVDs and three different t-shirts. He went on to say that he believed he had narrowed down his suspects two three of his co-workers.... That's when I lost it and Pepsi shot out my nose! I confessed and we both had a good hearty laugh.
Incidentally, I have recently started receiving all manner of mailed information from religious groups. Everything from Hirachrishna and Scientology to Catholic Seminaries.
Touché!
21. The above victim was once upon a time my civilian LEO patrol car partner. I would often leave my can of Skoal in the center console of the car next to the radios and MDT/computer.
He once superglued the kid on the can. It took me about ten minutes to figure out what he had done....
22. The same victim in #20 drove a "beater" car to commute to and from work because it was the cheapest was to make his 130 mile round trip commute.
I snuck out to the car when he wasn't looking and tripwired an M118 simulator to the cars door so when he opened the door to leave that night it'd go off about in some bushes about 25' away.
23. I don't like snakes. I'll courageously deal with them if I have to, but otherwise give them a far distance. The victim in #22 above once coiled a (come to later find out) dead rattlesnake in plain view on the front seat of my truck. I was so freaked out that I called the local animal control officer to come get it with his "snake stick."
..... Just a few more jokes to pass along..... Be careful out there! And, don't try this at home!
Remember my disclaimer.
20. A friend of mine, the biggest practical joker of all time, that is a civilian LEO/Detective (and can receive personal mail at his dept.) recently retired from the Air Force Reserve after 25 years of service. As a joke I signed him up for recruitment information from the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Army NG, Air Force NG, and even the Coast Guard via both postcard and Internet. About three months later he confided in me at lunch that he had received recruitment "propaganda" for some time that included DVDs and three different t-shirts. He went on to say that he believed he had narrowed down his suspects two three of his co-workers.... That's when I lost it and Pepsi shot out my nose! I confessed and we both had a good hearty laugh.
Incidentally, I have recently started receiving all manner of mailed information from religious groups. Everything from Hirachrishna and Scientology to Catholic Seminaries.
Touché!
21. The above victim was once upon a time my civilian LEO patrol car partner. I would often leave my can of Skoal in the center console of the car next to the radios and MDT/computer.
He once superglued the kid on the can. It took me about ten minutes to figure out what he had done....
22. The same victim in #20 drove a "beater" car to commute to and from work because it was the cheapest was to make his 130 mile round trip commute.
I snuck out to the car when he wasn't looking and tripwired an M118 simulator to the cars door so when he opened the door to leave that night it'd go off about in some bushes about 25' away.
23. I don't like snakes. I'll courageously deal with them if I have to, but otherwise give them a far distance. The victim in #22 above once coiled a (come to later find out) dead rattlesnake in plain view on the front seat of my truck. I was so freaked out that I called the local animal control officer to come get it with his "snake stick."
..... Just a few more jokes to pass along..... Be careful out there! And, don't try this at home!
(1)
(0)
17
17
0
- Check an armored vehicle for soft spots with a hammer (tink, tink, tunk).
- Change out the winter air in a HMWWV tire for summer air.
- Shake a tree in the woods so you can see on a map where you are.
- Go snipe hunting.
- Change out the winter air in a HMWWV tire for summer air.
- Shake a tree in the woods so you can see on a map where you are.
- Go snipe hunting.
(17)
(0)
SGT James LeFebvre
Sir, the tree one is priceless. I must be tired, I actually got a mental image of that happening.
(1)
(0)
SSG Sara Sutton
My favorite has always been having the cherry drivers check the shocks on our 113's and 577's.
(1)
(0)
1LT Nick Kidwell
You know, people pay good money to have the regular tire air purged and pure nitrogen put in.
(0)
(0)
16
16
0
Wrap a new guy in tin foil and have him "calibrate the radar" by running around and flaping him arms.
(16)
(0)
PO3 Kacie MacLagan
Wish I had thought of that one back in the day. Man we could have had fun with that.
(0)
(0)
SSG Tim Everett
Not sure what their MOS is called now, but back in the day the 96R Ground Surveillance Radar guys would do something similar to this (the tinfoil post).
(0)
(0)
16
16
0
(3)
(0)
Suspended Profile
Ah, the grid squares. I have heard an anecdotal story about some SGM who actually had cut out grid squares from a map and kept it in a box. Whenever a new private came looking for a box of grid squares the SGM handed him the box; so the new private and his NCOs could put the map back together.
SSG Steven Nosack
I have heard of many CSM's that did that, but I was one NCO that had to put the map back together. We never sent a cherry back to BN HQ again.
(2)
(0)
SGT Jacob Powell
i had a smart ass specialist send me to get a box of grid squares...i did construction before i went in the army, so i know what these are just BS. also i have common sense. so i went into 1st sgts office and cut up his map and took it to spc smart ass and the look on his face was priceless when i told him where they came from...lol
(0)
(0)
12
12
0
Ever send a butterbar LT to Range Control to sign out the shot group wrench? Had to have it on the range to tighten up the shot groups...
Or how about sending the nosy SP4 to supply to get the rug adapter for the buffer? And pick up a few spools of Phase Line while he's there?
Or how about sending the nosy SP4 to supply to get the rug adapter for the buffer? And pick up a few spools of Phase Line while he's there?
(12)
(0)
10
10
0
I used to tell Nugits (NU Guys In Training) to go ask the gunny for a long stand. After about fifteen minutes he'd tell them that was long enough and to go away.
We'd also have people go find 3 yards of flight line and/or two bottles of headlight fluid
We'd also have people go find 3 yards of flight line and/or two bottles of headlight fluid
(10)
(0)
SSgt (Join to see)
Nugits is a good one! One of the retired MSgt's in my unit calls the new guys "JEEP" (just enough education to pass) which I find hilarious
(1)
(0)
To make a bucket of steam you simple have to put dry ice in a bucket of water.
We tell the new guys to check the Armor on my Bradleys or we tell them to get on top and jump up and down to check the suspension.
We tell the new guys to check the Armor on my Bradleys or we tell them to get on top and jump up and down to check the suspension.
(10)
(0)
CPT (Join to see)
SGT (Join to see) Please don't. At least not for a count of me. I enjoy the every changing pics. But I have to wait till I am a 1LT(P). They have a rank requirement for officers. I will be eligible next August. Right when I get back from overseas.
(1)
(0)
CDR Kenneth Kaiser
I have not seen any mention of "relative bearing grease". I remember on my first ship we had the commodore embarked. When the commodore was relieved there was no contact relief. I should mention the ship was an old converted passenger freighter (USS George Clymer APA 27) and literally had a grand stairway from the mess decks up to the Captains quarters but I digress. Back to the commodore. We were all waiting for word on who the new commodore would be. We were tied up near the fire fighting school and they were always conducting drills there. I haopened to be looking out the porthole when another JO came in. I saw the black smoke from the school and mentioned to him "Well, it looks like they didn't select the new commodore yet. How can you tell?" he asks. I point to the black smoke and say "see?" Black smoke. If they had selected one you would see white smoke. Really" he says, "They do the same thing in my church when they select the pope. No kidding ! "I say. "We must have copied the idea from them."
(1)
(0)
10
10
0
I sent several airmen after a bucket of rotorwash and the ever popular 10 yards of flight line. Mail buoy was always fun too.
(10)
(0)
SSG (Join to see)
Everyone in Aviation has used the 10 ft of flight line or a bucket of rotor wash. How about sending my Avionic guy out to the bird because the whisper mode was inop.
(1)
(0)
PO2 Robert Lee
I used to like sending new seamen to go dump the Bit (computer operations) bucket then go to supply to order a new replacement.
(0)
(0)
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google