Anybody know where I can find a bucket of steam and bottle of bulkhead remover?

About 6 years ago at Fort Bliss, we sent a new PVT to the Maintenance Tech looking for Frequency Grease. He came back with an NSN...lol all time awesome backfire.

Then there is the ST1 - (ST ONE)

And the always elusive exhaust sample.

We had a new guy straight out of technical school that we pulled several pranks on.

1st prank. We had him get a bag of exhaust and told him that the motor pool needed to check it out,that he had to walk it to motor pool and topping it off that it could explode if it was handled to rough. We watched him gingerly hold this bag of air down toward the motor pool (which was on the other end of the base).

We then called the motor pool and told them the story and they co-operated beautifully. When he arrived they took the bag and asked him to stay put while they "checked it out" They came back after 10 minutes and told him that the "sample" was bad and he had to get a new one.

Long story short he spent 1/2 the day walking back and forth to and from the motor pool with a bag of air..

Or sending someone to feed the gammagoats and the mules.
Had FASMO insp in HI where someone sent a notsobright L/Cpl on a mission to get a case of ST1's..he was gone allllllll day because because Battery supply sent him to Bn supply..and on and on. Finally at about 1400 the CommChf get a call from Station supply (when it was MCAS Kaneohe, not Marine Base)..the two MGunnys (inspectors) were still around. The asschewing was minimal as even the inspectors were rolling when notsobright got back and told story of his day..said notsibright got out of Marines still thinking ST1 was a resl item in inventory because of that

One of my old section chief's had me do this back in 1995 on our howitzer with a 5lb hammer...I thought I'd speed the process along and grabbed the 20lb sledge from our connex, walked over to our M548 ammo carrier (same "armor" as a regular HMMWV), started to swing, and was promptly stopped and never asked to do dumb $hit again... ;-)

i was told to get a pipe wire decrimper

While at Cherry Point, it was a common thing, when heading to the tower to pick up people for shuttling to other bases, for the 'winger' Marines to inquire calmly, if the new driver had his 'elevator pass' for the tower.
Had one driver who told the CO of Motor T that he couldn't take the run, because he hadn't 'checked in to the tower and gotten his Elevator Pass yet.' It was a sight to behold, the very calm, capable WM captain trying to retain a straight face, "Well, just tell them I sent you if anyone asks for your pass..." she managed calmly,then did an about face, walked into her office, calmly closed the door, then proceeded to snort-laugh for several minutes, while bellowing, "Sorry... must have a cold coming on...(snort... snort... howl... slap desk... cough to cover laugh).

Track lube, antenna oil, MRE heater fluid...

When we would deploy on a ship we would often send the FNG for batteries for the "sound powered" phones. He would run back and forth from supply, different shops, ship's supply etc until he would return asking for the type of battery needed. Of course, the obvious answer was always BA1100N (yes, that does spell balloon). He would eventually end up in sick bay where the corpsman would hand him a box of rubbers. The military kind of messed that one up when they actually produced a BA1100N series battery.

We would also send FNGs for:
flight line
rotor wash
prop wash
sky hooks
left handed wrenches, etc

We had one corporal spend over an hour trying to find out what a CGU11 (sea gull) was so he could remove it from one of the aircraft.

"This Swiss seat's cutting into my BA-11s."

Hey PVT, go to commo and get a tube of squelch. Or, to supply (or maint, depending on the unit) and get some snow chains for the track. Jump up and down on top of the track to check the suspension. Go to supply and get a box of grid squares for the map. Go to maintenance and get a road wheel grease gauge to check the viscosity of the grease in the road wheels to see if the bearings need to be cleans and re-packed with grease, this one backfired on me in Korea. The PVT went to maint who sent him to BN maint, who sent him to Camp Kyle to 3rd shop (he had to dispatch a HMMVEE) and that is where it started to roll back down hill when the CSM and 1SG came to me and wanted to know where my people where.