Can a person increase their EQ and capacity for intelligent problem-focused conversation without emotional flooding? #CrucialConversations

In my experience, it its better to use feeling words instead of laying blame during a disagreement. Use "when you do that it makes me feel..." Instead of "you always/never..."

One of the best ways is the speaker-listener technique. Where they repeat what the other person said to make sure they truly understood it. It helps make sure people don't talk past one another either.

Of course they can! One way is to just learn deep listening. Deep listening is listening beyond what the person is saying to behind the words--what is their intent? How are they feeling? What do they need? Ask yourself: what is my intent for this conversation? And listen for that. It's totally human to jump in a talk before you listen to understand them--I done that myself many times. But we always advance the relationship when we listen deeply.

I think part of the issue is most disagreements are divergent in nature and not focused on being convergent. I want this, you want that vs we both want to be happy. Very rarely does a disagreement start out with a positive statement. Also lack of self aware in regards to personalities and how they interact. Being an ENTJ I know I can create a rather large wake but because I'm cognizant of my bluntness or directness when I speak unfiltered I either change the context or tone of what I trying to convey.

I'm interested to see this thread progress, with the high level of divorces in the military I think people forget how to turn off military communication and personal relationship communication.