Posted on Jan 6, 2016
SPC(P) Delcina Myers
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UPDATE 02/12/2021

WOW! This thread really blew up! And people are still commenting (some ruthless) for the past 5 years, so an official update and hopefully this thread dies down, like, completely.

I finally obtained an IST after a year of trying. State of Indiana never sent my paperwork to Missouri, so I had to call IG to figure out what was going on (that's how I found out that Indiana never sent my paperwork - I wasn't showing up on Missouris' roster, and Indiana wasn't showing me on theirs either, just that I had been discharged from Indiana NG). 3 weeks after the phone call, I was officially in the Missouri ARNG. I drilled faithfully for the remaining 4-5 years, and ETS'd in February 2020. I also had a hysterectomy that same month, and I do feel much better now. The previous November I had my miracle baby, as you can read in the update following this one. He is now 15 months old, and my pride and joy.

To clear the air a bit: No, I was NOT receiving pay while I was AWOL - that comment meant I didn't want to lose the money I COULD BE EARNING while drilling faithfully.

I plead my case to my Commander, 1SG, PS and new SL (he was team leader before this stupid mishap). The NCO that told me I was being discharge DID own up to his mistake. A case of mistaken identity (there was another girl in the unit that it was meant for - we looked a lot alike. A unit of that size, I can understand the mistake, however, I guess I should have stated who I was and maybe all of this wouldn't have happened). Also with that being said, I was never previously discharged before, so I didn't know about the paperwork needing to be signed. ALSO with that note, I still haven't received anything about my recent discharge/ETS as of yet, and it has been a year.

Since I had paperwork with me upon my return, it helped my case. Everything from the miscarriage until my doctors release. After the miscarriage, I did supply my unit with a doctors note - that must have been lost in a pile and never submitted, therefore my unit couldn't process an "in-house medical leave" as some could call it, profile, whatever the case. My then Squad leader didn't even pass on the message of my being in the hospital after my miscarriage, as it was the Friday before drill. One would think he would have the brain capacity to do so - no.

I had a very large fibroid on my uterus. I lost my baby when I was 14 weeks pregnant, but registering as I was almost 20 weeks pregnant. 2 weeks prior to the miscarriage, the tumor, as I called it, and the baby were fighting each other for survival. For those who don't understand fibroids, it's basically a mass of cells (benign, non cancerous) that survives off of blood flow, and so does a baby/fetus. The tumor was dying, and so it was trying to fight to survive. It caused excruciating pain, almost paralyzing pain, and honestly, the way Indianas' healthcare system is set up, I couldn't receive the treatment I needed. I had already known about the fibroid a good 3 years prior to this, and upon being assigned a General MD (until 36 weeks pregnant, then the pregnant woman gets referred to an OB/GYN for the remainder of her pregnancy - no choosing a doctor in this instance), but no one was listening to me when I stated that I would be high risk until it was too late. Due to this nature, my uterus wasn't shrinking like a normal one would - prolonging my healing. I did communicate with my SL during this time, he would say "Just keep me posted", not knowing he wasn't passing the message on. Finally I received release paperwork from my doctor, and I immediately went straight to my unit to give them said paperwork, and that is when the NCO told me the "bad news". I was being discharged. So, what I'm curious about, is why you all say I should have given them my phone number or address after being told about the "discharge"? In my mind, I was getting out. No need for future correspondence. Thank god for Facebook, huh? A non-acceptable form of communication really did work out in the end. I honestly don't know why it took the new SL to get ahold of me, I still wonder to this day, but I'm honestly not going to lose sleep over it.

Times were getting tough for us, my then boyfriend/now Husband relocating for work, and us not knowing anyone, no babysitter for the older kids caused us to move to Missouri so we could be with my aging father and take care of him/him take care of us kind of deal. I didn't think giving my old unit my new forwarding address or phone number mattered, as I "thought" I was being discharged. However, if all that didn't happen, I do believe I would still be in that wretched state (can you guys tell I despise Indiana? I was born there, moved her to Missouri in 1996, and moved to Indiana to be close to my biological dad after my mom passed in 2013, AND hopefully get free of my abusive ex-husband (yes, it worked), where I met my current husband). Ironically, 2 weeks prior to our move to Indiana, I ran into my PS at the restaurant I worked at, and he didn't even seem to know about my miscarriage (which should have thrown flags up by his confused look) and he DID come back for me once he realized I was still on their roster, however we had already moved at that time. So yes, he did try.

SOOO... I think that sums it up.

PLEASE, for all things holy, do not respond to this thread.. It is very old, and it gets tiring repeating myself to new comments (which, hopefully with this update being first on the list, you guys won't need to comment).

Was I a crappy soldier? I don't think so. I always did what was asked of me, within reason. Did I stop caring after being AWOL for a year and coming back? Yes. I know I probably didn't "deserve" respect, perse as far what had happened, but there should be a line as to how to treat a soldier no matter what their APFT score is, their height/weight, etc. Some of the leadership in that unit really sucked, and some of those leaders treated others like shite no matter their stance in the unit....

For instance: a PV2 that never had a passing PT test was able to be team leader before a SPC. Doesn't make sense, does it? I'm not sure what the term is... Hazing, maybe? Bullying definitely. Belittling in front of others, etc. that happened quite a bit. Thats not professionalism. So yes, I stopped caring. Because I was the target. From my own squad leader. No matter what had happened, I didn't deserve that. I could have easily taken a dishonorable being so many states away, but I didn't. I went back and tried my hardest to be a good soldier, 12 hour drive one way. There was even a time that I VOLUNTEERED to be on door guard duty for someone so s/he could use the latrine and get something to eat, to NOT be released the entire day and watching all the other platoons and companies of the Battalion be released to go home. No relief. I got a phone call when I was on my way home asking where I was at, and that "You weren't relieved of your duties, you need to come back" My response? "We were released" to be told "No, the unit was released. You were not." Shit ass unit. Sorry for my language. Once I got my IST I never looked back. Even my new unit had to un-f*ck my paperwork that was sent over. The new unit treated me like I was family, like a unit should (IMHO).

Thank you all for reading the new update. Things are going very well for me. So well in fact, that an injury I sustained in BCT/AIT 14 years ago is now being reviewed for VA Disability. Tinnitus was approved, just waiting on the others.



UPDATE 11/15

Since so many people have been responding to this 3 year old thread, and not really reading updated comments, here is an official update:

So, when I returned to my old unit, I have medical documentation, and also provided insight on the miscarriage and baby as well. He would’ve been born with Trisomy 13, which also gives a short life span as well, so in my eyes the miscarriage is kind of a blessing. My commander and 1SG were informed of what happened, made copies of my medical documents, and asked what I wanted. I requested to stay in (since I was originally looking at a hardship discharge due to the pregnancy in the first place, since I was no longer pregnancy and physically/mentally stable, I requested to stay in). At this time, I had an actual discharge packet at state for being unsat, and my CO informed me that if she could pull it then she will, but if not then it would go through and I would receive a general discharge. The following Monday I received an email stating that she successfully pulled the packet.

From then on (that is January 2016) until August, I continued to drive 12 hours one way to drill; I had to miss in July due to family reasons, but I’m August I went up early to make up the July drill. When I was an hour away, I called to make sure someone would be there, so I could sleep in the armory. At this time, I was asked if I wanted to do an IST, I said yes. I was also informed that my July drill had been excused (more non communication from my CoC- go figure). That following September, I was drilling with a new unit in my current HOR state. That unit was scheduled to deploy to Cuba the following summer. I wanted to go. However, my transfer wasn’t complete at that time, come to find out, Indiana has discharged me from their records (so Missouri could pick me up), but never sent the paperwork. From July until September 2017, I was in Limbo - not actively drilling because “I didn’t exist” in ANY states records. I called IG, and within 3 weeks I was on the roster to a different unit (the one I was trying to deploy with had already left, so I found another unit). Currently still in said unit, and on good drilling status.

Since I couldn’t go to Cuba in 2017, there was another unit scheduled to deploy May of this year to Kuwait. I wanted to go as well. And my name was actually on the roster to deploy.

Why didn’t I?

I found out I was pregnant in february; and on 11/3 I delivered a healthy, beautiful baby boy. My miracle finally happened! I had a rough beginning of pregnancy, when I was 6 weeks I went to the ER due to severe cramping (thought I was having a miscarriage again); doctor said it was a blighted ovum (Empty sac) because my HCG/PH levels weren’t as high as they should’ve been. So I went home, waiting to pass the fetus. A week went by, and still nothing.

Come to find out, I was a week behind. So instead of being 6 weeks at that time, I was actually 5 weeks. I still have the tumor, and in the spring time everything will be taken out.

And yes, the fibroid has and still is registering me as pregnant, by the measurement guide. When I was pregnant, I started out measuring at 12 weeks; towards the end I was only a week ahead (measuring).

No, I was not receiving pay while I was absent, and the “warrant” for my arrest was a ploy to get me back, which he didn’t have to threaten with and lie about. I would’ve been back to drill that May if they had informed me of my actual status; but honestly, why would I keep in communication with a unit that is discharging me, and telling me I no longer have to show up? In my eyes, I was done. That unit wasn’t my favorite, so I’m not gonna go back and talk to people like they were my teachers from High School, post graduation.

I had a miscarriage last January, and by not healing quick enough my former Readiness NCO told me that I was being discharged (In April). This past December, My "new" squad leader had gotten ahold of me via Facebook and let me know what was going on, if I didn't show up then I was going to be arrested, et cetera.

What I don't understand, is why didn't my platoon sergeant tell me that I was still on the roster when I saw him in August? I have moved two states away since then, and now I have to travel 12+hours to go to drill.

I need help, I don't know what to do, say, et cetera. I'm in the National Guard, and I was told long ago that article 15 can't be given to National Guard soldiers due to just being one weekend a month. Honestly, I'm scared. I waited a long time to get E4, and I don't want to lose it, nor my pay because I'm hurting as it is.

Any questions, just ask. But I really need advice. I plan on showing up for drill, and I don't want to be discharged, but a part of me thinks this is a set up to arrest me, which apparently there is a warrant for my arrest, and I don't know how to look that up either.

Thankyou.
Posted in these groups: Army national guard logo Army National Guard
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SSG Mark Franzen
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I would think if you were having problems i would have gone through a Chain of command and see if they would have helped you not go awol that wrong choice you have think before you do. SO YEAH WILL HAVE A PAY FOR THAT mistake.
CHANGE OF COMMAND ITS IMPORTANT TO LET KNOW STARTING WITH SEC SGT and go up good luck.
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SFC Mathew Henderson
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Yes you can, it's not about malicious intent, but about responsibility.
You may be able to get a reduced punishment based on the circumstances, but an AR-15 is nothing compared to what the UCMJ says you should get.
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SFC Brigade Master Gunner
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Slowly turns, and walks away from thread.
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SSG Fernando Ramos
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In sorry if this hurts but right now I think I should call you PVT because I'm pretty sure your unit took care of that a long time ago been that you have been no show for a year, and as I see it you will be move to the IRR until completion of your term and be bar for reenlisment. My suggestion to you is, show up ASAP, take the big hit that is coming your way and try to recover back again demonstrating to your command that you can be trusted again and that your reliable to the unit success so they can consider lifting your bar for reenlisment and allow you to continue with you career. I wish you good luck and I hope you have a very understandable chain of command to help you on your journey.
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SPC(P) Delcina Myers
SPC(P) Delcina Myers
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I'm still an E4, and completed an IST.
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SPC Veronica Thomas
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I feel for you with the crummy leadership. My unit refused to accept that I was pregnant since my paperwork was from a different installation. I had just PCS'd and the new OB scheduled my initial appointment for May when I had arrived in February, already being 20+ weeks pregnant. The new unit kept at me, having me do PT with them etc. They were preparing to deploy within months so it was pretty harsh on everyone, not just me. I went into preterm labor and my daughter survived for 13 days. After I came back from leave my acting 1SG and acting Commander spent every day telling me how I deserved for my baby to die, it wasn't a real baby, just a miscarriage, etc. They tried to say I wasn't allowed con leave because it wasn't a real "birth", even though she was delivered alive and naturally. They said the 6 months recovery time only was for women who had real babies. They sent me to mental health and demanded I have them sign off saying I could deploy. The doctors said no, she had a loss, she needs to see someone and take medication for depression. They took the medication and told me if I took it I would be slapped with an Article for "malingering". Of course nothing was wrong with me, I had to take my first child off life support and watch her die in my arms. They kept me on every detail they could for months and treated me so poorly I was ready to quit life. Another unit took me and I ended up being Mission Essential and one of the best they had in the Brigade HQ S6.
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CPL Infantryman
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Yes National guard can get ucmj action to incloud a court martial.
About the medical issue. It is your responsablilty to keep your chain aware and check your status if you did not care to maintain your requirements. then do not cry about the punishment.
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1SG Armor Senior Sergeant
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Ok I'm going to be real with you since I see so many seniors in this sight want to play the week role....were you getting paid??? But let me guess you thought it was just free money???? Hell yea I would max you out and discharge you....you signed a contract you knew the rules...go to who ever you want bottom line is you were absent I am truly sorry for your loss with that said their are thousands of soldiers that deal with hard ship everyday...stop playing the sympathy card exept responsibility and learn a grow from it...
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SPC(P) Delcina Myers
SPC(P) Delcina Myers
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No, 1sgt, I wasn't getting paid, or I would have questioned ASAP before all of this got out of hand.
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SFC James Rozell
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You are not this dumb. After 20 years in the military I have seen it all and this is no different. Get off your ass and go face the music. Stop making excuses and take your punishment like a soldier.
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SGT Natasha Mossey
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As a person with feelings, I get it.

As a former NCO.....I mean if you don't have a DD-214. Your not discharged. Plain and simple. If you have not been in contact with your unit for a year, you are AWOL. When you get back you will face punitive action, and most likely be arrested, booked and released to your unit. Just being honest. Now you know what to expect, so do the right thing.
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PO2 Edward Grabow
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Its Your job to know, Your a big girl now, The day you got sworn in ,nobody was going to hold your hand anymore , By playing this game and throwing your pregnancy into the mix regardless of its relevance to you needing time off in the first place or being the cause of needing more time to recover ( Which happens I'm not saying it's not legit ) You though are still responsible for knowing your status ,Period , This is one of the BIG reasons that Females have had such a difficult time getting accepted into more important and responsible roles, a vast majority of the women in the Military are extremely proficient at their jobs and I back them 1000%. but it only takes 1 or 2 females liker yourself trying to put the blame somewhere else and hope for public sympathy that cause major problems for the others ,Good luck with your Child, I hope you learn to take responsibility and that every thing works out in the end,
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SPC(P) Delcina Myers
SPC(P) Delcina Myers
7 y
Petty Officer, please don't peg me for females that do give the military a bad name, I am not one of them. I came here for advice, not to be ridiculed by a Navy Service Member like you. I wasnt asking for sympathy, just advice. But it all worked out in the end.
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