Posted on Apr 25, 2018
Military Family
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My son is relatively new to the army. He has made a couple of bad choices. He used an illegal drug. It seemed as though the punishment was going to be minor. But a few weeks later he was caught drinking and driving. He was told that he would be transferred to another base and put in Substance Abuse program. Now they are telling him he will probably be chaptered out. Is there anything he can do? I realize you don't know my son and as a dad I am biased but he is really a good kid. Up until these two offenses he had been doing really well. Do they have to give him a chance at rehab before they chapter him out?
Posted in these groups: Parenting logo ParentingDrug Drugs140114202911 large AlcoholMilitary men Discharge
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Responses: 176
CSM Patrick Durr
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Sir, with all due respect, I don't know you, I don't know your son, he's new to the military and he's already committed two major offenses. Likely not originated by military life. I'm not in the business of giving advice to keep your son in. I would be trying to get him OUT. He can only put others in harms way, others who can't afford to manage him while fighting a bigger enemy. Yes, the Army and every service should be chaptering him out for the good of this nation.
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SFC Transportation Management Coordinator
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>1 y
In my entire Military career, I would say that making bad choices are mile stones of growing up. I understand as a parent, we want the best for our children. In this scenario(s) your son has made multiple bad decisions and hope that he can learn from it. However, recovery from these incidents would not be in the military. In my personal opinion, I’ve had witnessed great NCOs/Officers have been chapter out of the military and the ones that are allowed to remain in service has watered down our very corps values. The thought of doing illegal drugs while serving in uniform is a disrespect to the military and to all that honorably served before me. I wish your son the best in his future endeavors but his chance to prove him worthy has passed. SFC Nguyen SSG Brandon Parker
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SSG Brandon Parker
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SFC Charles McVey Sr.
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CPL Motor Transport Operator
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>1 y
Just happen to come across this and csm durr I’ve seen officers and senior ncos do the exact same thing over and over again and the army kept trying to send them to different rehabs to help them out but they would always come back and either get a dui or fail a ua so I mean would you have the same approach with a snco has you would with a junior enlisted
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LTC Kevin B.
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Edited >1 y ago
If the command has decided to chapter him, he'll be chaptered. He can't stop it.

I have no doubt that your son is a good kid, but unfortunately he's providing more than sufficient evidence that he is not a good soldier. The first mistake (illegal drug use) was his opportunity to correct his path. His second mistake (drinking and driving) sealed his doom. That indicates a pattern of poor judgment, so he'll need to find another career choice. The military has a low tolerance for substance abuse issues.
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SGT Timothy McCann
SGT Timothy McCann
>1 y
SFC Cliff Rodgers - well said SFC
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1LT Engineer Officer
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>1 y
He should have been offered rehab after the first offense.
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SPC(P) Warren Soriano
SPC(P) Warren Soriano
>1 y
CDR (Join to see) - Agreed, Sir. The SM probably joined the service to turn a new leaf, but he's an addict. As a lower EM, I knew a few guys like that, but they persevered and were good soldiers. Many people think enlisting in the military is an easy fix. Screwed up life? Join the US Army. Someone who can't manage their life as a civilian thinks they can manage it in a strict and disciplined environment (w/ severe consequences)? It's not for everyone.
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1SG Tom Carter
1SG Tom Carter
>1 y
1LT (Join to see) - He probably would have been if it was only one incident, but after the second...
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SGT David T.
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If the command has made the choice to go this route, there isn't much he can do. He could go to JAG, but it would probably make little to no difference. Your son made the decisions and now he has to live with the consequences of those choices. Honestly, he was given one more chance than I would have given him. If I was his Sergeant, my recommendation would be max him and put him out.

We all sign a paper when we enlist that says we cannot do drugs. If someone does, then that is on them. The DUI is something talked about ad nauseum at every safety brief. Again, that is on them. This sounds cold, I know, but the rules are clearly spelled out and not difficult to follow.

Just because he made a few mistakes, does not mean that he is a bad kid. He just did some really stupid things. Being chaptered out isn't the end of the world. I know many who have been chaptered that went on to happy productive lives afterwards. Some people just aren't cut out to be Soldiers, and that is okay. I wasn't either. The only difference is I got out on my own terms a bit later on.
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SP5 Shelly Forbes-Hunter
SP5 Shelly Forbes-Hunter
6 y
SFC Charles McVey Sr. - I think the use of the word "perversion" is not helpful towards a meaningful communication. (My 2 cents) .....
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MSgt Kerry Lundy
MSgt Kerry Lundy
>1 y
SPC Chris Ison - There is a simple solution. You are a male who thinks he is a female or vice versa get the surgery and all the post surgery care and ongoing hormone and mental therapy ( could be years of treatment) then enlist once you are declared to no longer need said therapy. Why should the taxpayers pickup the tab for a person's extremely expensive elective desires?
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SPC Chris Ison
SPC Chris Ison
>1 y
One could make the argument that it is not elective surgery, if it makes the person whole. Tonsillectomies, Lasik, Vasectomies, etc are all "elective" surgeries.

The very fact that they are willing to serve, is why the tax payer should foot the bill.

You act like they are not performing the job. One can perform the job and still see a fucking shrink, that does not interfere with readiness or the ability to do the job. The only reason psychiatric care is needed is to help them during the transition.

furthermore, not every person undergoes complete sexual reassignment surgery, so even within the TG community, there is a variance of what they wish to have done.

The military has always been in the business of trading an enlistment for money. That is why they have the GI bill, and why they pay for advanced schooling for docotr's and lawyers.
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Cpl James Graves
Cpl James Graves
>1 y
I was in the Marine Corps. In my time (67-70) if I had been a good Marine to that point and gotten into a little trouble my squad leader would have been right in my corner, and perhaps even company 1st Sargent. But the drug issue would probably nix that. You can't have anything like that in the field. Too many other Marines count on you to be able to perform and it's not fair to them to have someone with a substance abuse problem in the squad, platoon or the unit as a whole.
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