Can you describe how you felt coming home from a deployment or combat?

I felt that I didn't know why I lived unscathed and whole when so many others were broken. I vowed to live a life of healing instead of destruction. I became a mental health nurse.

My deployment was Desert Storm so I didn't see as much carnage as those from previous and also subsequent deployments. It was a real eye opening experience for sure and one that I did not wish to repeat under any circumstances. I was glad to be going home and even more happy for my troops. I was 38 when deployed and had at that point roughly 18 years in so I was sort of the "daddy" figure in their eyes of sorts. I got to know them a lot better during that time and couldn't wait for them to return to their homes and lives. I had seen and experienced many things that I knew that I could not relate to my family and friends, but only to those who have experienced it with me or from other actions. i felt it was going to be great to get back home and get on with my life and with my family, which at that time was not in good shape. I subsequently got divorced in 92. it was a rough ride from that point on but has worked itself out much better than expected and I am very grateful for that as it as made my life even richer and more rewarding in many ways. I felt a bit of culture shock to a small degree upon returning, being away from a life that I had known all my life after having seen a world that I never want to see again. I had reservations as to how I would address the inevitable volley of questions that would be thrown at me. What would I say, or would I just not answer. I remember not long after coming home my daughter's school class wanted me to come and speak to them. I was obviously torn as to how I would handle this. I met with the teacher and asked her what she wanted and had in mind for this talk. I asked her talk to her class and tell them there may be questions that I could not or would not answer or even address, in hopes that this would make it a bit easier for me and for them. All in all it went better than expected, as I had props with such thing that I had brought back that helped to deflect some of the obvious questions that would have come out. One in particular i was trying to avoid was "did you kill anybody". I simply did not feel this was an answer that was to be addressed at their age level. I finally got back to work and found that many people, co-workers and family made comments that " I have changed". Well yes, I definitely had changed, forever, good or bad it happened, and I had to live with it. it didn't take me long to re-assimilate but there were many things running through my mind constantly and many still to this day are still there and affect how I look at situations and people in general. Of course we were welcomed much better and more actively then our brothers from Vietnam, which I feel bad for every single day. We as a nation failed those brave men and women, and that will forever a stain on our humanity. My life since has been a rewarding one, many great jobs, six awesome grandchildren, and I am enjoying a good retirement. I know this is kind of wordy but when I get going my thoughts just keep flooding out..

As a young 5th Special Forces veteran returning from Vietnam . Who had been involved in many combat mission at age 19 felt very different when I returned home . For about a year I still had dreams about being in Vietnam unbeknown to me was a form of PTSD . I was more of a loner with my friends but kept a very quiet life and met a very wonderful woman and married her . As I worked in civilian life I was successful and whatever I did and made a good life for my family . I was offered a full time civilian (ARC) job with the the Air Guard which I accepted and was a great move I made in my life . I had about a twelve year break afer leaving Vietnam and missed the military and joined the Air National Guard where I had to retrain in a Life Support AFAC . My Special Forces career was a great help for I went on to many Air Force schools such as Combat Survival Instructor for Air crew and Air Force Crash Investigating course . I went on and was Team Chief for Life Support for 19 Air Guard Tanker units and I did two aircraft mishaps and was on a Air Force accident Investgating board involving a KC-135 with five fatalitys .
In my job as Air Crew Life Suppot Chief I went on and did three more wars with my unit Desert Storm , Alled Force , and Iraq Freedom . And after 33 years total service I retired from military service and have to put in 54 years of marrage enjoying reitirement . But to this day I still remember being in Vietnam like it was yesterday and never forgetting that God allowed me to live and have a great life .

It was frightening. Life in the combat area had become routine. Living in a combat zone is not all fun and games but it was generally easy. I didn't have to worry about anything other than completing the mission. All the necessities of life were taken care of, where to eat, where to sleep, where to bath, what to do each day. All I had to do was concentrate on the missions.
Returning home removed all the comforts of daily life I had become accustomed to. Now it was up to me to purchase my food or meals, be responsible for the building I live in, pay the bills, and all the upkeep of the things I own that support me.
I have to return to a home where my family had become accustomed to life without me. The growth they'd experienced without me proved they did not need me as much as I needed them. The readjustment period was as difficult for them as it was for me.

Coming home sucked ass... of course I thought I wanted to come home, but I never did. Still haven't really... when you throw yourself into the work and no matter the politics behind it, you'll always leave there feeling less than you went
AD SM's shouldn't feel it as bad, as your PCS changes are about the same.

Doesn't really matter, now than half of me didn't come home, mentally

One Word - Discombobulated.

Good afternoon. Excellent post. Thank You for sharing this. Having deployed three times during My time within the Military, it felt great coming home.

On returning from Vietnam, I felt relieved and thankful that I made it back alive and not in a box as so many did. You don't think of it as much when you're there as when you come back. And I was a draftee.
Ken Schob SFC (Ret)

I was proud of my service, but upon discharge I was told not to wear my uniform home. They informed me that there had been "incidents" at San Fran Int'l Airport and in Seatac at Seattle. I did as I had been told, but it wasn't hard to see that I was a serviceman. My hair was "high & tight, and I was clean shaven but with dark circles under my eyes from long term lack of sleep. I didn't encounter anyone that even looked cross-eyed at me. Most folks that recognized what I was said "you must be happy to be coming home". There was no fan fair. Not even a recruiter to welcome us. Nothing. We got on with our lives tucking memories in our back pockets. I didn't even join any veterans groups till I was in my late 50"s when I was out riding my Harley one day and I saw a parade of bikes with American Flags waving stop at a gas station. They told me they were the Patriot Guard Riders of Montana. And they were the bikes that escorted Veterans, and active service KIA's remains home for burial, and then stand flag lines to honor our Vets that served. I joined right then. 12 years later I am still riding with them. I have also joined the American Legion where I have served as Ride Captain (both Patriot Guard & American Legion Riders) Vice Commander and Commander of a Post.

Great full