Currently have two options, sign a Dec or extend to do DA selected drill duty and move with my wife who also was DA selected for drill duty.

I was recently DA selected for Drill duty (right after my wife was selected). I can ETS by May 2020 and that was what I was going to do until I got this ATRRS registration. Before I got this DS selection I wanted to PCS to where my wife was going to be assigned for her drill duty. I was told by my career counselor that my only options are to sign a Dec or extend and do the drill duty. When I called branch they told me i have those two options unless I submit a 4187 to defer/delete my drill orders for a reason. I worry that my wife and I being separated for so long will be bad for our marriage (we would be living on different posts for around a year and 8 months by the time she comes back from drill school and then PCS). I also think both of us being drill in the same household will cause a strain on our marriage yet alone the additional things we would need to deal with (moving, not seeing each other that much, BOTH of us working long stressful days, etc.). I was wondering if anyone had advice as to what I might be able to do to. My ideal situation is to either get out early so i can live with her and not be a drill sergeant or somehow get out of drill orders and then PCS to her new post to serve out the last year and 8 months of my enlistment.