Posted on Nov 17, 2014
SSG Programmer Analyst
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Any tips for dealing with a soldier that does not want to play any more. But can not get out. I have a soldier that is not happy with joining the army, but the Army does not want to let him go that easy. So he has been assigned to my team. How have you helped soldiers like this to see that the Army is not such a bad place?
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Responses: 9
SGT Kristin Wiley
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Sounds like me! Except the situations are probably entirely different. What is the reasoning behind him not wanting to be in the Army anymore? His reasons may be justified, so you'll need to get him to understand that until his ETS date he is stuck and should for his own benefit put in some effort. If his reasonings seem to not have a basis, it is likely he is unhappy in his off-time. Finding him events around post to participate in or even spending some off-duty time with him might help.
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SSG Programmer Analyst
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I agree he may have a good reason. But he needs to open up and talk with us. At the moment he is not letting us help him. Until he wants to share with the class there is only so much we can do for him.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
SGT Kristin Wiley
>1 y
You may see it as trying to help him, but try to view things from his perspective. From the little information I have, I have a gut feeling that he thinks the Army is trying to ruin his life. As part of the Army, you are essentially part of this feeling and any help you offer him is seen from a completely different perspective. What does he do during his off time? Does he hang out with other soldiers from your unit? I would encourage you to look into this and see if he has a healthy personal life. He may feel isolated or bullied by others in your command, and doesn't say anthing for the same reason men do not report rape.
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SPC Combat Engineer
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>1 y
I have been in that mindset before, my advice is to find out his goals, what he expected and what he sees his future like. My team leader did that and helped me achieve those goals. There is potential that he can be steered back in the right direction. He joined for a reason, it would be best to find out why.
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SFC Walter Lovett
SFC Walter Lovett
>1 y
SPC Bronner is referring to the same idea behind the Soldier For Life imitative. We as Leaders must know our Soldiers and help them achieve their goals along with mentor them for career progression. If this Soldier has no aspirations for a career in the Army then help him to develop personal goals and a plan for after the Army. Everyone from PVT to GO must have a plan... it does not have to be to stay in the Army, but in the current job market anything less than an honorable discharge is looked very unfavorably!! I would suggest getting the Commander's approval to let the Soldier attend the Army For Life: Transition Assistance Program (TAP) training as well as on his own personal counseling. AWOL is defiantly not the way to go... Lead him into making better decissions and get to know him like SGT Wiley suggested. You as his first line might have to get a well rounded NCO or Soldier from another area to get the conversation started.
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SGT Squad Leader
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I've been in that boat myself......I've found that getting to know them, and their interests/hobbies proves beneficial. That way, you can relate the Army to what they know, and like. This approach has always worked for me. Good luck!
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SSG Programmer Analyst
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I need to get him to come around and talk with us. We can not help him if he does not communicate with us and keeps going AWOL. I don't want to see a young kid end up making choices that will haunt him for the rest of his live.
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