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Any tips for dealing with a soldier that does not want to play any more. But can not get out. I have a soldier that is not happy with joining the army, but the Army does not want to let him go that easy. So he has been assigned to my team. How have you helped soldiers like this to see that the Army is not such a bad place?
Posted 11 y ago
Responses: 9
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Sounds like me! Except the situations are probably entirely different. What is the reasoning behind him not wanting to be in the Army anymore? His reasons may be justified, so you'll need to get him to understand that until his ETS date he is stuck and should for his own benefit put in some effort. If his reasonings seem to not have a basis, it is likely he is unhappy in his off-time. Finding him events around post to participate in or even spending some off-duty time with him might help.
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SSG (Join to see)
I agree he may have a good reason. But he needs to open up and talk with us. At the moment he is not letting us help him. Until he wants to share with the class there is only so much we can do for him.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
You may see it as trying to help him, but try to view things from his perspective. From the little information I have, I have a gut feeling that he thinks the Army is trying to ruin his life. As part of the Army, you are essentially part of this feeling and any help you offer him is seen from a completely different perspective. What does he do during his off time? Does he hang out with other soldiers from your unit? I would encourage you to look into this and see if he has a healthy personal life. He may feel isolated or bullied by others in your command, and doesn't say anthing for the same reason men do not report rape.
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SPC (Join to see)
I have been in that mindset before, my advice is to find out his goals, what he expected and what he sees his future like. My team leader did that and helped me achieve those goals. There is potential that he can be steered back in the right direction. He joined for a reason, it would be best to find out why.
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SFC Walter Lovett
SPC Bronner is referring to the same idea behind the Soldier For Life imitative. We as Leaders must know our Soldiers and help them achieve their goals along with mentor them for career progression. If this Soldier has no aspirations for a career in the Army then help him to develop personal goals and a plan for after the Army. Everyone from PVT to GO must have a plan... it does not have to be to stay in the Army, but in the current job market anything less than an honorable discharge is looked very unfavorably!! I would suggest getting the Commander's approval to let the Soldier attend the Army For Life: Transition Assistance Program (TAP) training as well as on his own personal counseling. AWOL is defiantly not the way to go... Lead him into making better decissions and get to know him like SGT Wiley suggested. You as his first line might have to get a well rounded NCO or Soldier from another area to get the conversation started.
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I've been in that boat myself......I've found that getting to know them, and their interests/hobbies proves beneficial. That way, you can relate the Army to what they know, and like. This approach has always worked for me. Good luck!
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I need to get him to come around and talk with us. We can not help him if he does not communicate with us and keeps going AWOL. I don't want to see a young kid end up making choices that will haunt him for the rest of his live.
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How new is he? I ask because I have a nephew that went this way when he first joined...to the point that he was looking into a Psych discharge. He sat down with me one day after this had gone on for a while and asked me how I would feel about him if that happened. I replied that he is family and would love him no matter what...then went on to say that I felt like before he went any further he should do some soul searching and decide how he would feel about HIMSELF down the road if he decided to basically quit. He ended up making a transformation and made SGT with SSG being dangled in front of him if he would re-enlist. He didn't, but at least he didn't quit. You might try that approach, or suggest he have that discussion with a prior service family member.
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SGT Richard H.
That's about where my nephew was when he made the turn toward sticking it out. There's still hope.
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Drugs? Some are good at hiding it.
Alcohol? Same thing.
Love interest? There are more fish.
Religion? Sometimes it the wrong church.
Harassment? Your job to check it out?
Poor Performance? Again your job - or is his immediate supervisor screwing up?
Attitude? Sometimes the direct approach works best - he may think he's doing fine because all his fruit favored counselings say so.
Simply late coming into work (if off post with family)? Bad car?
Too much debt? Budget classes might help.
In short I know nothing of this soldier because you have presented limited information. Without knowing him I can't do any recommendations that target the issue.
Alcohol? Same thing.
Love interest? There are more fish.
Religion? Sometimes it the wrong church.
Harassment? Your job to check it out?
Poor Performance? Again your job - or is his immediate supervisor screwing up?
Attitude? Sometimes the direct approach works best - he may think he's doing fine because all his fruit favored counselings say so.
Simply late coming into work (if off post with family)? Bad car?
Too much debt? Budget classes might help.
In short I know nothing of this soldier because you have presented limited information. Without knowing him I can't do any recommendations that target the issue.
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Keep him busy, well led, and motivated. Unless he has defect, he's fit to serve, once he gets his mind right. Invest some personal time to find out if he has family or other issues under the surface. Maybe nobody has shown any interest. It could bring about change. Encourage peer involvement, teamwork, and motivation by example. A light may come on with him. If not you're still tasked with leading him. Paper leads to discharge. On the Army's terms and not his. His choice.
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Take him to visit the brig. He might realize that's not the way out. Scared straight.
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Coach, Teach and Mentor. It requires that you invest time and resources. You have to look beyond yourself and the immediate COC. Seek out a Chaplain, Garrison Counselors and follow the tenants of the NCO Creed. If all of this fails, then you should have a chronology of his poor behavior and resistance to support through the previously mentioned process, and you will then have to Chapter him. Part of the Creed is to keep your Soldiers informed. Part of your initial counseling should include where he is heading and what the ramaficatio s are for a Chapter related to poor performance. Couple that with the value of a three year tour in the military and benefits gained should he improve.
Just my thoughts.
Just my thoughts.
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