Dealing with suicide

I don't know how much more of this I can take! The nightmares keep coming back, all the same. I am not saying I'm suicidal, I never will be, but these nightmares are eating me away. How did anyone ever get rid of them?!

I'll reach out to you with some info. i have uncovered on such matters. It will make angry. But stay cool and try to live your life out in peace and happiness if you can. This kind of experience (Death) is shocking and hurts. Stay calm , i stand with you.

try the Fleet and Family Service or talk to your chaplin. a guy in my division hung himself in his shop. the XO came on the 1MC and informed everyone. he was jokeing and drinking beers with friends having a good time, didn't look like anything was wrong, then that night it was the end. the best thing you can do is talk about it and let it all out.

Cpl Micah Wing I'm sorry. A loss from any death is a painful experience. My condolences.
Find a loss and bereavement group to join, join a Survivor group, celebrate life, don't get caught up in self blame, (I should have called him, why didn't he call me, I should have seen it, why didn't I see it) don't try to make sense of it, recognize everyone grieves differently, don't replay last moments over and over in your head, don't isolate yourself, feelings..., and get support from other survivors. Above all else remember you are a survivor.

Sorry for your loss, but you are not alone. Resources.... Chaplain, Army family one source offers free counselors, I think there is a hot line too. Go to your Army Community Service building and they have plenty of resources.

Sorry to hear more guys taking their own lives....depression is something many of us deal with in so many different ways. Sometimes takes years to overcome and sometimes decades. MY best suggestion is each guy must find that which gives him the most happiness and reason to live. Whether it be kids, wife , new home or home he wishes to purchase...an old car he loves working on or just working long hours at new employment if he enjoys that? Best thing is to do something so one does not focus on depression or bad thoughts.

We have to talk and stay connected to all our brothers in arms with whom we experienced the trauma or brothers/sisters we know experienced war. Talk and listen to the experience(s) that caused trauma but more important talk about the emotions it caused at the time AND the deeper emotions the experience continues to create in us today and every time we have those thoughts.
This is the most important thing we do at our no-cost weekend veterans retreats. Please think about joining us if this conversation creates some stress and tension in your body. Thank you for your service. texasforheroes.org

Back Ground, I am one of the lucky or unlucky ones. My wife and I were Veterans of at least 1 one war. During the first Gulf we had to leave our 2 year old behind to serve under the same command. She was SCUDed many times, this broke her and I did not know it. I lost her to Suicide 4 years ago. I have had to carry the guilt of not being there for her the one time she needed me the most. That being said, I tried and I mean tried to join her a few times during that first year. Pills, hand gun, Car at over 100. I was well on my way to being institutionalized or making the goal. It had gone so far as I made it to the V.A. List of expected death by suicide. It normally takes 3-4 attempts before you get it right. Its rare to succeed on the first attempt.
Perspective, If it was not for a special Doctor at VA I would be gone ( He spent more time on my case than the VA would allow) It became personnel where he would call me on my cell during the day to make sure I was alive. That being said, communication and self-worth is the trick to save lives. Im not a doctor so this is not clinical, I still suffer and like the wise man said once the option is on the table it remains for the rest of your life. Support is the key.
What support. Mission have a reason each day to get your ass up and moving. Call a vet each day and listen. Someone who is going to take their own life will say good by in so many ways that we don’t pay attention to. They will nest. Clean everything and make sure its right, Justify it. It the warrior way, Family will be better without me. It gos on.
My life saving event was being selected through my Brother no less to help train solders in Africa. Seeing people that needed my help both military and civil gave me a reason to continue to live.
I continue my work in Africa as well as support charity’s in the area.
My brother has a saying (I AM MY BROTHERS KEEPER) Communication is the secret to stopping this.

Reach out each day to your brothers and sisters that serve.