Posted on Apr 30, 2015
SGT Chris Reese
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Seeing the SPC get a Company Grade for jumping with his fish is pretty high on the "awesome reason for an Article 15" list.... so what's you story?
Posted in these groups: Ucmj UCMJ111011 f jf989 002 Article 151024px smiley.svg Humor
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1SG Civil Affairs Specialist
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Edited >1 y ago
I didn't get an Article 15 for this but I should have.
SPOILER ALERT: One of the highlights was getting smoked by the Chaplain.

Back in 1994 I went to JRTC. My buddy from OSUT and I were on gate guard duty overnight. As the commander's driver, he had access to one of the few vehicles in a light infantry unit. We had planned ahead, replacing useless items like camouflage nets in the back of the HMMWV with useful things like pogy bait and a pallet of Coca Cola.

We were bored, so we two geniuses decided that empty Coke bottles plus MRE heaters = fun. We would prime a charge, then toss it in the back of outgoing vehicles, snickering about how funny this was. (*I realize this is not really funny NOW, but then it seemed like a great idea). Well, the third vehicle out of the gate belonged to the Regiment CSM. My buddy checked nervously whether I had chucked an MRE-IED in CSM Duree's truck (I had). "Crap!, Well, maybe it will be a dud." Not so much. After what seemed to be forever, we heard a BOOM, tires screeching on gravel, and a crash.

The sound carries very well in the bayou. We could hear the CSM cursing from what I would estimate as a mile away judging by the 15 minutes it took for him to walk back to the gate. It started off as a string of muttering, like the dad from "A Christmas Story". Soon though, it was clear what he was saying, and the fear of our impending demise gripped us like a vice. He comes into range, and we challenge him with a "Halt, who goes there". In no mood for this, the CSM responded with something like You know damned well who I am.
Advance to be recognized.
Hoo, hoo, you will find out soon...
Place your ID card on the ground.
Ah HA, sure, come on out here...
Hmm. Uh... we issued the challenge... and he didn't know the password.
We wouldn't let him in.
This only served to enrage him, as he explained in great detail what would happen if we didn't let him in. Still, we refused.
Finally my buddy chickened out and gave him the number combination.

We got smoked for about an hour, then the CSM had us recover and told us depending on what kind of mood he woke up in, we'd either be E-1s or be on the bunker for the rest of the rotation (three more weeks). Knowing that he had NCO call at 0500 and it was now almost 0400, I realized we were screwed. Having just made PFC, I was doubly depressed.
I think at some level, the CSM respected us standing our ground as sentries, even if we were jackasses.

What happened all day the following day was we were paid a visit by everyone in our chain-of-command, each of whom took a bite out of us. But the best part was the Chaplain.
He walks up around noon with the Chaplain Assistant and asks us how we were doing. I said we'd had better days. He says: " I am about to do something I've never done in 22 years in the Army. I'm going to smoke you two." We proceed to do pushups. I think we were approaching 1500 repetitions on the day by now. As we were pushing, he continues:
"I am going to tell you why I am doing this. In all my years, I have never ever heard such a string of vileness, filth, blasphemies, and taking the Lord's name in vain as I heard from CSM Duree this morning. Because of this, I am pretty sure that you have damned his eternal soul through your foolish actions. And now I am going to take it out of your sorry Asses!"

We could not help but fall on our faces laughing. Chaplain Jobe was not impressed. He was serious as a heart attack.

This news spread like wildfire, and Soldiers from all over the unit came to verify what we had done and we had in fact been smoked by the Chaplain. BWAHAHAHA!

Later, our Platoon Sergeant showed up with a spool of 550 cord. He carefully measured, pounded in two stakes, and leashed us to them, informing us that was as far as we could go for the rest of the rotation. At full extension, we could just make it to the water buffalo and with one leg hanging outside, the port-a-john.

We paid all right, but we didn't get an Article 15.
I also couldn't buy a beer in the NCO Club for the rest of the time I was in that unit, as the legend of that night got told, retold, and embellished every time I was in there and drinks rained down on us like manna from heaven.

About a year later, after 12 straight months of going to Soldier of the Month boards (my PSGs sick joke to ensure I got regular face time with the CSM, but that is another story), I think I might of earned a bit of respect from CSM Duree. As he was throwing me out of his board room for the umpteenth time, he called me back to the X and handed me my first coin.
I still have it, and it is still my favorite.
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PVT Rich Burns
PVT Rich Burns
6 y
Awesome story.
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CW3 Special Forces Warrant Officer
CW3 (Join to see)
6 y
Dude I used to blow stuff up with those MRE heater bombs- can you imagine the trouble you'd get into now? Its probably a felony use of a WMD. I was in JRTC too back in July of '94 with a LRSD. Good times.
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CPL Kenneth Norris
CPL Kenneth Norris
6 y
Yep. One of of the best "I got smoked and earned it" stories ever. Thanks for sharing that.....lol
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SSG Patrick Sloan
SSG Patrick Sloan
6 y
That was awesome!
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1SG Eoc Ops Coordinator / Ga Certified Emergency Manager
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Got my 1st one in AIT at Ft. Knox in early 74. I was a squad leader and had a trooper who was being booted out assigned to my Squad. He slept alone on the 2nd floor but I had to inspect his room every morning before going off to training while he spent his day with the Senior Drill and/or 1SG on one detail or another.

We were having some kind of Annual Armor Training Center Headquarters Inspection like we used to have the old AGI's. His room was spotless when we formed up to go to training and I told my Drill Sergeant so. When we got back for lunch, I was getting my ass chewed by the Senior Drill saying his room was fk'd up and told me to get my ass up there and unfk it. I was pissed! When I walked in he was standing there and sure enough he had tossed it because he was mad about some detail he had been put on. I told him I was there to supervise him getting it right again...he said, "FK you, the 1SG, the Army, I'm not doing shit!" I said oh yes you are, and went on his ass before he realized it. After a series of punches he fell toward his and hit his ribs on the metal bed post sticking up. He didn't get up and I walked out. As I walked past the CQ, I told him, he better check on Delosa, he's laid out in the floor in his room. I went on to the mess hall and told the PLT Guide what I did. He was a prior service guy and told me to not worry about it, the Drill Sergeant would not let me get in trouble. Next thing we heard the ambulance and saw it pull up to the barracks door and then the EMS took him out strapped to a gurney.

Here came my DS looking for me and said, "The MPs are going to come get you, the Cdr is pissed, but don't worry, 1SG said he will take care of it. He asked if Delosa had hit me first and I said he didn't hit me at all. He said, No, he hit you first, stick to it and say nothing else. I'll be down to pick you up shortly. I was worried, but stuck to my story the entire time.

MPs took me away, locked me up, read me my rights..I stuck to my story as told. Drill Sergeant picked me up, but to be questioned by the CID or MPI, don't recall which. The investigator said, "McPherson, I know you hit him first, but we're not going to push this, he's a scumbag and you've got your chain of command behind your back."

Company Commander gave me an summarized Art 15, 15 days restrictiion, 15 days extra duty and then suspended it all. He said he had to do it as he could not condone the fighting and not doing anything might lead to other actions similar. I didn't know what a "sumarized" art 15 was until I got into the 1SG office.

Delosa got his ribs and nose broke, and kicked out of the Army, and I got the Art 15 and promoted to PFC coming out of AIT! My Drill Sergeant PCS'd to the same unit I was in Germany 3 yrs later and I was a Sergeant...First thing he asked me was, "Who the hell did you hit this time!"

Got one more as an E6, but we'll not talk about that one now...fingers are wore OUT on this one.
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Wyatt Winn
Wyatt Winn
>1 y
Iout fking standing
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Jonathan Kiviniemi
Jonathan Kiviniemi
6 y
So you're a POS who physically assaulted someone without provocation. You should have been dishonorably discharged.
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SPC Infantryman
SPC (Join to see)
6 y
I wish I'd have been in that army. I almost got an ar 15 for missing an appointment I didn't even have
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MSG Logistics Nco
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6 y
Jonathan Kiviniemi - "One takes a swing.... Captain puts him down..."I think that counts as provocation.
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SPC Carl K.
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Jackson im just here to read the comments 72
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PO3 Charles "Bill" Sullins
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TSgt Steve Carter
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SGT Writer
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8 y
What in the entire fuck . . . . . . .
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PFC Robert Morrison
PFC Robert Morrison
7 y
I feel like i just lost something........
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