Posted on Feb 9, 2018
Do you believe the #metoo movement is 'scaring' men away from pursuing relationships (either personal or professional) with women?
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I'm following a discussion on another forum of all female veterans, and the prevailing sentiment there is-- "No way. Good men know how to not be pigs."
While I believe that good men know how to not be pigs, I also believe that the fear of negative perception or false accusation is what is driving distance between men and women (men unwilling to voluntarily interact with women), but the women's forum largely rejects that theory as well.
I'm interested on the men's perspective, because my experience (and the input from my male friends and associates) is that I'm spot on. I think the women's forum is willfully blinding themselves to the obvious but I-- like a good researcher-- would like to hear from a broader audience.
Please remain civil-- and honest-- in your responses (as you always do, which is why I like this page.)
Thanks.
While I believe that good men know how to not be pigs, I also believe that the fear of negative perception or false accusation is what is driving distance between men and women (men unwilling to voluntarily interact with women), but the women's forum largely rejects that theory as well.
I'm interested on the men's perspective, because my experience (and the input from my male friends and associates) is that I'm spot on. I think the women's forum is willfully blinding themselves to the obvious but I-- like a good researcher-- would like to hear from a broader audience.
Please remain civil-- and honest-- in your responses (as you always do, which is why I like this page.)
Thanks.
Posted 7 y ago
Responses: 13
The issue is, people are expecting people to not be people, but, for them to be machines. There wouldn't be stereotypes if people didn't reinforce those overall false perceptions of the majority of people. I would argue that, open relationships also has a hand to play in all of this and the departure of how we as a society views love and relationships is biting us in the ass.
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The "Me Too" movement, while having a good heart at it's inception, has morphed into something much worse in some cases but perhaps not all. In a sense, you can almost liken the Me Too movement to McCarthyism. Any perceived slight could be a life changer and career ender. Yes, good men know how to not be pigs, but we are also aware that any actions can be misconstrued and are making us nervous and perhaps walking on egg shells. This is basically comes down to a few bad apples did spoil the whole bunch in certain eyes. The search for Communists by McCarthy had the very same effect. Everyone was nervous. Afraid that their actions could be misinterpreted and accusations could come at any moment and said accusations can/will destroy a life with little to no proof presented. I am certainly not saying that there are women that haven't been sexually harassed/assaulted. Clearly there have been. It is because of this Me Too movement, that men are now extremely leery about interactions with women. This is giving women a dangerous power that can, and will, be abused and used for selfish reasons. Not all women, but some. If someone harasses and/or assaults someone in any nature, I fully agree that those attacks need to be reported. And they need to be reported right away. Not 30 years later. I also believe that once an accusation is made, let the investigation run its course. If there is evidence, it will be found. I also believe that if someone makes an accusation and the investigation determines those accusations to be false, then the accuser needs to face the law.
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LCDR (Join to see)
Couldn't agree more on the false accusers need to face consequences. They are not only destroying the lives of those they accuse, but making it harder for all 'real' victims to seek justice.
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SN Keagan Miller
Some people can’t talk about trauma right away. I would think that we as veterans should understand that better than the general population. Also women are constantly not believed most of the time as well as face criticism and victim blaming when they do bring it up, so they hasn’t been a lot of incentive to do so.
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I feel that it makes people nervous. The question to ask though, is why are you nervous? Were your actions going to be potentially harassing or demeaning to someone else? Moderation in all things is important. #MeToo addressed a major issue that needed to be addressed, but it needs to be in check and directed in the right places
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