For dual-military couples, how do you cope with a spouse who outranks you and treats you as such?

I don't think that a relationship will work with that kind of element playing a part. You must be able to separate the job from the family life. You see families being torn apart when there is only one SM in the household; I can only image the kind of unholy shitstorm that may occur with two SMs in the house, both dealing with the stress, and one trying to hold a position of power. I would advise that the couple seeks some kind of counseling or I don't foresee it working for very long.

Go Green to Gold - or OCS - and then turn the tables.

Ouch- 1. He does have 2x the service. But you need to have a heart to heart- he is probably pass the venting stage except for extreme cases. He needs to understand your need for venting, and you need to listen to his points- this is a dual thing marriage- if you don't work it out, then you will have nmore serious trouble ahead. Both of you need to counsel wisely.