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Hello, my people! I was recently asked to provide input on an NCOER we're writing for an E-6 who recently transferred to our shop. His losing unit did not write him an outgoing NCOER, so of course it falls on us to pick up the pieces.
The losing unit sang his praises, offering gushing adoration for this guy. But when we pressed them for bullets, they were unable to come up with anything concrete. Their failure to point to specific accomplishments more or less matches our observation of him.
He's a guy that would probably do well if we still had SP6 as a rank. So when my counterpart (his new rater) asked for bullets, this was my tongue-in-cheek reply:
* Can successfully inhale and exhale in sequence without supervision
* Routinely laces boots without causing loss of circulation to feet
* Surfs social media on his cellphone better than any other E-6 I've observed
* Maintains steady temperature in whatever chair he is occupying
So I thought I'd throw this topic out to all of you. Any humorous evaluation comments you've seen, or wish you could've included in writing one? Please share!
The losing unit sang his praises, offering gushing adoration for this guy. But when we pressed them for bullets, they were unable to come up with anything concrete. Their failure to point to specific accomplishments more or less matches our observation of him.
He's a guy that would probably do well if we still had SP6 as a rank. So when my counterpart (his new rater) asked for bullets, this was my tongue-in-cheek reply:
* Can successfully inhale and exhale in sequence without supervision
* Routinely laces boots without causing loss of circulation to feet
* Surfs social media on his cellphone better than any other E-6 I've observed
* Maintains steady temperature in whatever chair he is occupying
So I thought I'd throw this topic out to all of you. Any humorous evaluation comments you've seen, or wish you could've included in writing one? Please share!
Humor
Evaluations
NCOER
OER
Posted 9 y ago
Responses: 401
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He doesn't need a Ncoer , he needs a counseling statement on how to properly sit in a chair and lead from that position
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My former boss wrote a great SR comment on a SGT that was pending separation - "wholly incompatible with military service." NCOER mic drop!
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I actually used this: "Fails to meet even the low performance standards she sets for herself." I still can't believe I had to use that. And it passed scrutiny by two SGMs and the reviewer, because it was thoroughly documented.
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o performance during the rated period indicated no leadership traits
o completely unprepared for tactical and garrison leadership responsibilities
o this SM shouldn't have had the opportunity to lead Soldiers
o completely unprepared for tactical and garrison leadership responsibilities
o this SM shouldn't have had the opportunity to lead Soldiers
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During my time assigned at the 121st ARCOM while in a convalescent status, I was handling an administrative separation for a SSG who was being discharged for not showing up for weekend drills, two consecutive summer training sessions, et al. In preparing the paperwork for the separation, I had to review his evaluations and annotate them in the packet. In one from a previous stint on a deployment during Desert Guardian, a Regular Army 1SG actually wrote on one of the evals:
* Knows how to carry his own weight around the company
Yes, the SSG was about 60 pounds overweight; I literally shot coffee out my nose when I read it!
* Knows how to carry his own weight around the company
Yes, the SSG was about 60 pounds overweight; I literally shot coffee out my nose when I read it!
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I wished I used the NCOER's bullets on my NCOER's. I would've gotten a battlefield promotion to Commander 1st Baller Division, 1st Playa from the Himalayas BDE. I would have the most pimpish unit ever. Strippers would come to me for guidance. My uniforms would be tailor made with feathers coming out of the fedoras. My night vision glasses would be made to look like Oakley Frogskins. Weapons? We don't need no stinkin weapons. A pimp cane would be a mandatory issue sensitive item. All the boots would have three inch platform heels, and my call sign would be Shaft06. My CSM would be IceBergSlim07. The EPR one I actually tried using as a joke when I was stationed in the UK. It was funny all the way to the Shirt. He really didn't find it so funny even though I had written the Airman's real EPR and had it going to their S1.
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I once noted in "responsibility" how many UA's a E-5 was an observer for and how it led to a flawless testing process with zero contamination issues.....
It never made it past the First Sergeant
It never made it past the First Sergeant
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spends countless hours working on Army related work while working off-duty and attending class on-duty
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MSG XXXXX's ability to accomplish any task is directly proportional to the number of people he pisses off
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