Posted on Feb 26, 2015
SFC Josh Jackson
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Hello, my people! I was recently asked to provide input on an NCOER we're writing for an E-6 who recently transferred to our shop. His losing unit did not write him an outgoing NCOER, so of course it falls on us to pick up the pieces.

The losing unit sang his praises, offering gushing adoration for this guy. But when we pressed them for bullets, they were unable to come up with anything concrete. Their failure to point to specific accomplishments more or less matches our observation of him.

He's a guy that would probably do well if we still had SP6 as a rank. So when my counterpart (his new rater) asked for bullets, this was my tongue-in-cheek reply:

* Can successfully inhale and exhale in sequence without supervision
* Routinely laces boots without causing loss of circulation to feet
* Surfs social media on his cellphone better than any other E-6 I've observed
* Maintains steady temperature in whatever chair he is occupying

So I thought I'd throw this topic out to all of you. Any humorous evaluation comments you've seen, or wish you could've included in writing one? Please share!
Posted in these groups: 1024px smiley.svg HumorEvaluations logo Evaluations1efa5058 NCOERBilde2 OER
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Responses: 401
MAJ Judd Clemens
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Fails to meet the low standards he sets for himself. He is destined to push on doors marked pull.
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CW2 Guy Compton
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"This officer would be out of her depth in a puddle in a concrete, level parking lot"
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SMSgt Shawn Sommers
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Always wanted to use an opening sentence of: "Continually sets low standards and frequently fails to meet them."
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GySgt Legal Services Specialist
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Most of the comments are witty and pretty funny but some of them tell a bigger story of failure. They tell a story of leadership failure, failure to not have a purpose or real task for these individuals to do, a lack of proper supervision to ensure these folks are gainfully employed and are deserving of the taxes the American people are paying. I realize there are time we screw around but an entire tour is ridiculous.
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MAJ Pete Joplin
MAJ Pete Joplin
>1 y
GySgt (Join to see) You do realize that these are all bullshit, and haven't really been used in evals, right? Your indignance is noted, albeit misplaced.
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SSG Kyle Stromgren
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Has all 6 cans but not plastic thingy holding them together
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CPT Melanie Ryan
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One of my favorites, which I have used (though my Senior did call me out on it) was:
“Is personally responsible for Chain-of-Command proficiency in NJP procedures.”
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CPT Staff Officer
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Fun to read in all, but do such comments make it through HRC review. I’m elated when I push up and NCOER that doesn’t get kicked back.
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MAJ Pete Joplin
MAJ Pete Joplin
>1 y
99.9% legend.
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2LT Ronald Reimer
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“One of the best soldiers I’ve ever worked with....when he shows up for work, sober.”
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CSM Charles Hayden
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Oldie, but goodies for y’all!
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CW3 Eye Bobojed
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Continued duty under this organization most likely in his being rated as an E5 next year. His total lack of tactical or techinal skills is only exceeded by his inattention to basic hygiene. Geniune concern over his total disregard for the welfare of subordinates who relies to carry him financially from payday to payday. Always on call as he can be readily found at the closest Gentlemen's Club near the maingate.
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