Have You found You Yet?

CW2 Joseph Evans, this is yet another excellent question. You seem to have a knack. I'm still working towards the me that I want to be.

Just recently I had an epiphany regarding discipline. I have always considered myself to be a disciplined person. Remember Senator Tower saying he was a "man of some discipline" back when he was being considered for Secretary of Defense? (http://articles.latimes.com/1989-02-01/news/mn-1438_1_tower-s-nomination)

Along that vein, when I really take a look at things in my life, I realize there is so much room to tighten things up that I'm not even close to where I want to be. And I'm not talking about being a nut about discipline; I'm talking about being a reasonably disciplined person is as many facets of my life as possible, including things we all learned in the military -- my area, my fitness routine, my diet, and on and on and on.

Much of what I have on my mind regarding discipline - and would like to improve - are things that the casual observer (co-worker, friend, etc.) would not even notice, but I know what's "going on" in my life and I still have plenty of room for improvement and changes to make.

When you're young, everything you do is about bettering yourself. Then you have kids, and everything you do is about bettering them.

I'm right here, where I'll always be. My purpose? To provide for my wife and child, and to get huge chunks of metal downrange to blow the hell out of some bad guys. everything else is extra

Still working on finding me. I like to think that I'm not in so much denial anymore. =) When my drill sergeant, SGT Whitten, told me I was scared, I denied his assessment of things. When my other drill sergeant, SFC Watlington, stated, "SPC Moeglein for the most G-- d----- college education of anyone in the whole unit, you are the stupidest m----- f----- that I have ever seen." Would things have worked out better if I had listened to what they were trying to tell me? That's water under the bridge.

What I do know is that Americans love an underdog. People are not so inspired by those with only natural talent. They are moved by someone that against all odds overcomes struggle and adversity.

Am I the "Holy Dave" that I thought I was as a young adult? Absolutely NOT. Am I grateful for those who have given of themselves to help me overcome the significant obstacles of addiction, homelessness, divorce, bankruptcy, PTSD and depression after I was discharged? Absolutely YES! Can I stay angry at those who hurt me when I was young, in light of the fact that it is from the identification and healing of these wounds that I am able to therapeutically connect with the clients that I treat? Absolutely NOT.

What I have found is that I am a student of life, and that I will never stop being inspired and amazed by the obstacles that others overcome. I love an underdog.

CW2 Evans, great stuff. I am still pondering. Yes, if we are lucky, we become self-actualized. I was lucky enough to have that in one or two assignments and in one or two volunteer positions, such as a Wood Badge Scoutmaster and as a Sgt Major. I also learned that all glory--including self-actualization --is fleeting. It can be wonderful and if you are more than lucky, you are not only self-actualized but self-improved with lasting effects. One truly hopes to be the greater of the sum of one's own experiences before the clock runs out. We have only so many heartbeats and we must use them wisely. I'm still learning that and it isn't easy.

I will be greater. I'm very proud of what I've done with my life so far however I do believe that I am meant to go farther.