Posted on Aug 10, 2015
Honestly, do you think there is more emphasis placed on FRG than is really necessary? What should service members' roles be in this program?
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I guess the biggest push in this question is what should my role (as a service member) be in the FRG? Should I be required (as a single Soldier) to participate in committees, attend meetings? What input should the BOSS rep have in the meetings he or she is required to participate in?
Posted in these groups: 
FRGBetter Opportunities for Single Soldiers (BOSS) President
FRGBetter Opportunities for Single Soldiers (BOSS) President
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 13
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conducted effectively, i think FRG is an invaluable asset to an organization. It helps bridge the gap between a Soldier's life and homefront. Helps keep families informed, brings members closer together, which can create a support system for families, gives the servicemember's family more comfort when they understand what the units are about. FRG explains that. Additional, Servicemembers often receive more support at home when FRG tells them the unit is going for 3-4 weeks for training than walking in saying im leaving for a month for work. Add creditability- less drama.
Having single Soldiers attend reduces divisiveness and a show of unity in,an organization. Soldiers and families coming together. Units need to show that no preferences or bias exist between Single and Married Soldiers. Leaving it everyone is one way to do that.
Having single Soldiers attend reduces divisiveness and a show of unity in,an organization. Soldiers and families coming together. Units need to show that no preferences or bias exist between Single and Married Soldiers. Leaving it everyone is one way to do that.
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SFC Michael Jackson, MBA
SFC (Join to see), we had pretty of single Soldiers come willingly. we started by giving them free food with potlucks, refreshments, and pizza partys. Single Soldiers love free food...lol. got them in the door, and many discovered that FRG was a good thing.
I started my comments saying "conducted effectively". When i saw FRG work it was because there was a clear and relevant agenda. it appears from your post, you don't think the FRG is relevant. Perhap, you can add value to your FRG by offering ideas to be supportive of divorced families or discover the FRG can add value to your life. You'll likely find another family with a similar feelings or experiences, be given resources to assist you. being divorced w/ kids you may need a break at some point. You may build a trust relationship and someone can help.
lastly, its not just about you. its building the unity of the organization as a whole. You're part of the team. You may need to attend to be plugged into what the other soldiers are being told.
I understand you may have some difficulty being around other people given your situation. However, you have to find a positive way of dealing with this. avoidance isn't the answer.
I started my comments saying "conducted effectively". When i saw FRG work it was because there was a clear and relevant agenda. it appears from your post, you don't think the FRG is relevant. Perhap, you can add value to your FRG by offering ideas to be supportive of divorced families or discover the FRG can add value to your life. You'll likely find another family with a similar feelings or experiences, be given resources to assist you. being divorced w/ kids you may need a break at some point. You may build a trust relationship and someone can help.
lastly, its not just about you. its building the unity of the organization as a whole. You're part of the team. You may need to attend to be plugged into what the other soldiers are being told.
I understand you may have some difficulty being around other people given your situation. However, you have to find a positive way of dealing with this. avoidance isn't the answer.
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SFC (Join to see)
I think you effectively described the intent. Unfortunately, reality often exists directly opposite to your description.
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SFC (Join to see)
Soldier do love free food! I would like to have seen the effecrively executed grouo to describe. My experiences seem to be more in line with SSG Jessica Marcelain. I do not like other people's spouses and children either. I've been in several units where FRG wasn't mandatory but you were threatens with punishment ot loss of personal time if you didn't sacrifice some of the precious little personal time you had. This caused bitterness and resentment across the unit. Most of the FRG became gossip fests and caused drama and devision. I like my small unit now. We don't have an official FRG, and we deploy/TDY/travel individually. All of the spouses know each other and have had common experiences. Even if they don't like each other, they support and check on the one that is alone. This is, as you said, effective for us. I think the challenge with larger units FRG is every one is without their spouse at the same time. And many may be experiencing it for the first time. I think our benefit is, even though one spouse is not going through it now, they just went though it. So they emphasise and consider that spouse that is going through it now. They remind each other and support and include that one without any of the units involvement. So long story short, I guess I agree with you. Just wish I could have seen "effective" FRG's when I was in larger units and had worse deployments.
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Your role should be completely voluntary. A single Soldier should not be "required" to attend however, it is always a great place to be for all Platoon Sergeants and by you attending, you are setting a great example. Additionally, since you are a leader in the unit (and attending), I recommend you make it a positive event and try to get the most out of it....make it fun and make it worthwhile. The experience you gain as a Platoon Sergeant will help you when you are a First Sergeant. You are rockin, keep on setting the example SFC (Join to see).
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SFC (Join to see)
Thank you CSM Michael J. Uhlig! I guess I am being a whiner about this stuff. I realize now that there is another perspective and I wasn't seeing it. Thank you FOr offering that!
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I am sure that many will be offended, but I had the misfortune of never being in a unit with an effective FRG. They were gossip mills, good old girl clubs, had in/out groups primarily based on officer/enlisted, and did very little for the unit except create drama and heartache for the rear D people.
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SFC (Join to see)
I am in a place where I couldn't care less about the goings on of the FRG, I just don't want to be involved in any way.
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SGT (Join to see)
I concur, I had the misfortune of being in one that decided to give up when there was too much red tape to cut through. Created a very difficult time for me, and yet they preach and brief all the time how they are here to  help. Well, guess what? They sure didnt.Â
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In all honesty in 23 years of doing this job I have yet to see one FRG actually work. Oh yeah they go thru the motions and get things in order to pass an inspection and get their ticket punched but it was still broke. The person(s) that were suppose to be running it did not know what they were doing and basically did nothing that the FRG is suppose to do. In the last 8 years my wife has been contacted by a FRG only one time to help organize and participant in a FRG event.
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SGT (Join to see)
This was needed to be said. FRG is not necessarily a bad thing at all, but in my opinion they are always severely flawed.
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BOSS during FRG meeting? It would be weird to discuss single Soldier activities during a FRG meeting when it's focused on families.
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SFC (Join to see)
I agree, but it is a CSM push...I am pushing back as much as I can, but there comes a point where you have to just do...
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I think FRGs are a good thing if they are used properly. I have been married for over 11 years now. We have been together for three deployments and countless time away for training. I don't think they are going to offer my wife anything that she doesn't already know. But there are spouses out there that need this. I seen the wives of my soldiers and they are afraid of the Unknown.
For being a single soldier I don't think you have a role. When I was single I didn't want anything to do with the military. But there might be some that need to get out and get active. Usually from what I have heard they some are afraid of female soldiers going to an FRG meeting. Wives can get jealous very easy.
For being a single soldier I don't think you have a role. When I was single I didn't want anything to do with the military. But there might be some that need to get out and get active. Usually from what I have heard they some are afraid of female soldiers going to an FRG meeting. Wives can get jealous very easy.
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SFC (Join to see)
I'm no threat to anyone's marriage. I don't want to be involved with a primarily civilian run entity. It's just a personal issue I have. No ones problem but my own. But tomorrow night I have to find myself involved and after duty hours at that. I had plans already, I mean damn!! Lol
I completely understand what you're saying about some people needing to get out and needing to learn some of this stuff. I will learn more tomorrow I'm sure on what my CSMs intent is behind BOSS and FRG combining for this steering committee. As of right now though, I'm not feeling it! Lol
I completely understand what you're saying about some people needing to get out and needing to learn some of this stuff. I will learn more tomorrow I'm sure on what my CSMs intent is behind BOSS and FRG combining for this steering committee. As of right now though, I'm not feeling it! Lol
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CPT (Join to see)
SFC (Join to see) - Well that does happen from time to time. Maybe they just think you would do the best job there. One of my Squad Leaders knows that whenever I am really nice to him he knows I am going to ask him to do something. He doesn't want to do most of the stuff but he know that I have confidence in him and he will do his best for me. But if were single that would be the last place you would see me at night. I have much more pending things. I have a book on Nietzsche that I have been trying to read or holding down the sheets on my bed. I don't want them to fly away.
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SFC (Join to see) FRG should get continuous Command emphasis, which means the Leadership of Officers, Warrants and NCOs must participate or it is a Leadership problem.
My wife, Melissa, is like you Jessica, she does not like the FRG when it becomes a whining session or a group baby sitting team.
Can't relate to the single solider issue, but the leader for the FRG needs to have meaningful activities for singles as well.
Bottom line the FRG needs to have guidance and rules. It is most important gearing up for mobilization and needs a break post-mob. So it needs to 'breathe' and cycle up and down in activity with the needs of the service members.
My wife, Melissa, is like you Jessica, she does not like the FRG when it becomes a whining session or a group baby sitting team.
Can't relate to the single solider issue, but the leader for the FRG needs to have meaningful activities for singles as well.
Bottom line the FRG needs to have guidance and rules. It is most important gearing up for mobilization and needs a break post-mob. So it needs to 'breathe' and cycle up and down in activity with the needs of the service members.
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I was medically retired November 2014, and I am still dreaming about being active. I often wake up in a panic, thinking I overslept or I have a report or something due-that I have not even started. I have even woke up wondering where I was! I think part of my problem is that I have so many doctors appointments (military types), it is difficult to make the break. So the short answer is I think it depends on the individual situation.
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I have two thoughts on the subject. First, I have a difficult time justifying forcing a Soldier attendance at a FRG function. If the SM is single, the BOSS program is designed for them (at least it is supposed to be), so encourage them to attend there. If the SM is married, and if the FRG does what it is supposed to, then yes, they need to attend - especially junior enlisted. Many of these SMs tend to blow off anything they aren't forced to do, and the FRG is a good place for the families to meet and learn what the FRG can do to help. Second, most of the FRGS I have attended, were little more than gossip circles and bitch sessions. If leadership is serious about the FRG, appoint FRG leaders that have command support and do what the FRG is supposed to do.
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