How can I get my orders to Korea deleted or changed?

I can relate to this myself. I came down on orders for Korea in 2000 while serving at Ft Bliss, I was freshly married 1 year at the time. I took a temporary job of orderly room Nco. The orderly room was trashed sqaured it up. When the orders came down my commander came to me and asked if I wanted to go, in other words he would have gotten me out of it. I was a hard charger back then and told him I wanted to go and I would reenlist over there and come back. After getting over there reporting to Camp Casey 2-9 Inf, I wish I would have took my commander up on that offer Korea was the worse country I was stationed at. A true hell on earth and insult to injury when I reenlisted I was never able to get back to Ft Bliss.

Does the Army allow people to swap assignments. If A wanted to go to Japan but had orders to Korea and B had orders to Korea but wanted to go to Japan with everything being equal (rank etc) could they swap?

You can ask branch to accompanied tour to Korea but that’s a two year deal instead of one

Perhaps you could see if you could get orders changed from 1 year short tour without family to 2 year tour with family. If not possible, think of it as a deployment where you are a lot less likely to get hurt/injured. It's a lot better than living in a tent or CONEX box in 120 degree desert heat.

Make the most of the opportunity-99% of Americans either don't qualify for military or don't get the opportunity to travel the world and get paid to do it.

Other than praying for a miracle, I don't have any suggestions. You didn't say how close your ETS is. You could allow your enlistment to expire, then go into the Reserves to maintain contact with the military//work toward retirement if that is what you want to do. Understand, I have been retired for 23 years, so I am way out of touch with how things work now. During my time, I did one overseas tour, Germany, and my first three months there without my wife and two small children almost killed me, so I can certainly empathized with you on that count. How did I only do one overseas tour? Well, my next assignment was Ft. Irwin. I had been there a year when I volunteered for recruiting. It took a year for those orders to come through. I did well, was asked to stay, and did so. I don't recommend doing that. Some people have a blast. I got severely injured, had a change in CoC, and everything went to you know where. I finally had to bluntly explain to the BN Commander that instead of wasting money on a PCS for me, he needed to help me retire. Lo behold, two months later, after a much needed MEB, I was out, retiring only four months later than I had originally planned to when I started BCT in May 1975. Dos les bendigan, sargento.

If you are five years stateside, you are due OCONUS PCS depending on MOS density/needs.

Came down on orders for Korea six months before retirement, actually on orders to retire, and still came down on orders....Retirement Branch actually had to step in and get it deleted.

I think maybe you should consider separating. There is absolutely no shame in it at all. You have a family now and it sounds like they are a major priority to you. Military service is going to make it so you are frequently away from your family. If not Korea then deployments, tdys, etc. It's not for everyone, and frankly, families often suffer A LOT from military life. There's absolutely nothing wrong with making the decision to be close to your family and work a civilian job. You'll always be a Vet and that is honorable --but you have to do what is right for you and your family.

Not sure if this applies, but I was on orders to go to Korea in 1995. I asked my retention NCO if there was a way for me to refuse assignment to Korea. He told I could but I would lose my promote status, forfeiture of reenlistment. I ended up going to Korea, losing my marriage while there and then ETSing out after my stint in Korea. I hope this helps. The Army supposedly promotes family and all that but when it comes to mission and soldier numbers, not so much. I am not sure if this works in today's Army.

Korea was one of the best times in my career. I didn't want to go but when I got there, I made the best of it. My leadership skills got stronger and I got to serve with some of the best of the best!