Posted on Feb 7, 2019
How did everyone find their mentor? Are SNCOs against mentoring members they don't personally know?
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How did everyone find a mentor? I know I need one, particularly right now as I'm in need for some guidance about a few things happening both personally and professionally. I know several SNCO's, but none that I'm totally comfortable reaching out to. To be completely honest, I just don't want to feel like a bother and the individuals I know already have a ton going on. I arrived on station here in October, so I'm still trying to network here. Is it appropriate to reach out to a senior member I don't personally know or should I try to stay within my group?
Mentorship
Leadership
Senior NCO
Posted 6 y ago
Responses: 24
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Something I struggled with, and still do to a point. When I was in there was not much emphasis on leadership development other than what you did on your own. I was fortunate to have several people in my unit guide me with suggestions over the 13 years I was in. I've been in the civilian world 100% for 22+ years now and it is even tougher to find the right mentors here. Most have come from relationships while a couple have come from asking someone I barely knew.
I now help coach, act as a sounding board to a small handful of people. Here is the first suggestion I always start off with: find someone who is where you want to be! i.e.: If you want to be good at tennis, don't ask your folks to train you in tennis, ask a professional. If you have marriage problems don't seek a counselor that has been divorced.
I am always willing to be a sounding board in the areas I know and have experience. I won't, for instance, have ideas for how to attain the next rank in the USAF or how to move laterally as I don't know the USAF inner workings.
Last note: never, ever "feel like a bother". A leader does not resent being asked even the most basic questions. And a leader will let you know if s/he can help or not. Lastly, it will take some time to build a relationship of trust. Feel free to DM me if you wish. I may, or may not, have answers. My wife also has a woman's point of view on a lot of areas as well.
I now help coach, act as a sounding board to a small handful of people. Here is the first suggestion I always start off with: find someone who is where you want to be! i.e.: If you want to be good at tennis, don't ask your folks to train you in tennis, ask a professional. If you have marriage problems don't seek a counselor that has been divorced.
I am always willing to be a sounding board in the areas I know and have experience. I won't, for instance, have ideas for how to attain the next rank in the USAF or how to move laterally as I don't know the USAF inner workings.
Last note: never, ever "feel like a bother". A leader does not resent being asked even the most basic questions. And a leader will let you know if s/he can help or not. Lastly, it will take some time to build a relationship of trust. Feel free to DM me if you wish. I may, or may not, have answers. My wife also has a woman's point of view on a lot of areas as well.
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SSgt (Join to see)
One of my favorite stories is from one of my life mentors. He is a retired GP Doc. When he was in college working for his BS he started talking with the counselors on how to get into Med School. He very quickly realized that they were giving the same advice to all applicants. He switched tracks and sought out those BS graduates who were accepted into Med School. He would go up and say "if I buy you a cup of coffee can I pick your brain on how you got accepted to Med School?" He realized that less than 10% were accepted and he wanted to know what that <10% knew, not what the counselor knew that had a >90% failure rate getting people into Med School. Was he the best student? Nope. But he was focused and had researched a success track to attain what he wanted. And he did.
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Ask questions! SSgt (Join to see)
The leaders who will mentor you will shoe care and concern. Some may seek you out. In my experience, my mentors showed themselves and only rarely have I needed to ask them directly to be my mentors. It kind of has gone unsaid but understood and the relationship develops from there.
While your leaders may have things going on, it comes with the territory and those who have become my mentors have an intrinsic understanding that their plate is never too full to help another leader develop. In that sense, they paid it forward and I have mirrored their approach. I see someone looking for answers and I do my best to be able to have the answers or learn it with those who come to me for guidance. Leaders are a resource and mentorship is a tool to assist the improvement of our profession.
If you do need to ask someone directly, do so, and be humble. This allows for open and honest feedback. Just as any relationship requires truthful, healthy communication, a mentor and mentee’s relationship is no different.
Hope you find what you’re looking for. RP has plenty of leaders willing to assist or at least serve as a sounding board.
The leaders who will mentor you will shoe care and concern. Some may seek you out. In my experience, my mentors showed themselves and only rarely have I needed to ask them directly to be my mentors. It kind of has gone unsaid but understood and the relationship develops from there.
While your leaders may have things going on, it comes with the territory and those who have become my mentors have an intrinsic understanding that their plate is never too full to help another leader develop. In that sense, they paid it forward and I have mirrored their approach. I see someone looking for answers and I do my best to be able to have the answers or learn it with those who come to me for guidance. Leaders are a resource and mentorship is a tool to assist the improvement of our profession.
If you do need to ask someone directly, do so, and be humble. This allows for open and honest feedback. Just as any relationship requires truthful, healthy communication, a mentor and mentee’s relationship is no different.
Hope you find what you’re looking for. RP has plenty of leaders willing to assist or at least serve as a sounding board.
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