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What was the situation you encountered, and how did you handle it? I'll start it off.
It wasn't your typical, what you hear these days, type of stolen valor. This man wasn't in uniform, wasn't parading around touting his affiliation. He was an elderly gentleman, who appeared to be homeless. Who claimed to be homeless.
I was out on the town (a casino on Fremont Street in Las Vegas). My buddy and I were headed back to the bar when this elderly gentleman approached us. He asked for some money, and in the spirit of the holidays we told him we'd help him out.
As we were walking with him to the ATM we struck up a conversation, asking him about himself. At some point in the conversation he asked us if we were military. Mind you, we weren't discussing military things or our personal life with him, I had longer than normal hair as I hadn't gotten a haircut in almost three weeks, and my buddy is retired with a beard and long hair. Why he asked if we were in the military, is still beyond me.
We told him our respective situations, what we do, etc. He then told us that he was in the military too. What then started striking us odd, is when we asked him about his service, he wouldn't tell us what rank he was when he left the military, what branch he was in, where he served, what his job was, anything specific at all. He just adamantly repeated that he served, got offended, became agitated, and then left us before we even could make it to the ATM.
We ended up looking for him, found him, and confronted him about the whole thing. He admitted that he lied, and that he in-fact had never served. He apologized for it, said he did it because he thought we would only help if he told us that he served, and promised he wouldn't do it again to others. We gave him some money and went along our way.
This whole event really ate at me for a few reasons. The first, was just seeing someone in need. Everyone could use some help every now and again. It could be someone's dad, brother, uncle... It then bothered me even more, because the thought of those that HAVE served, and made the ultimate sacrifice, and lost their lives. Here is this individual, attempting to get the honor, but never having made ANY sacrifice.
What about you guys? Any situations to share? How did you shake the lingering feeling of anger, disgust, and just generally being upset?
It wasn't your typical, what you hear these days, type of stolen valor. This man wasn't in uniform, wasn't parading around touting his affiliation. He was an elderly gentleman, who appeared to be homeless. Who claimed to be homeless.
I was out on the town (a casino on Fremont Street in Las Vegas). My buddy and I were headed back to the bar when this elderly gentleman approached us. He asked for some money, and in the spirit of the holidays we told him we'd help him out.
As we were walking with him to the ATM we struck up a conversation, asking him about himself. At some point in the conversation he asked us if we were military. Mind you, we weren't discussing military things or our personal life with him, I had longer than normal hair as I hadn't gotten a haircut in almost three weeks, and my buddy is retired with a beard and long hair. Why he asked if we were in the military, is still beyond me.
We told him our respective situations, what we do, etc. He then told us that he was in the military too. What then started striking us odd, is when we asked him about his service, he wouldn't tell us what rank he was when he left the military, what branch he was in, where he served, what his job was, anything specific at all. He just adamantly repeated that he served, got offended, became agitated, and then left us before we even could make it to the ATM.
We ended up looking for him, found him, and confronted him about the whole thing. He admitted that he lied, and that he in-fact had never served. He apologized for it, said he did it because he thought we would only help if he told us that he served, and promised he wouldn't do it again to others. We gave him some money and went along our way.
This whole event really ate at me for a few reasons. The first, was just seeing someone in need. Everyone could use some help every now and again. It could be someone's dad, brother, uncle... It then bothered me even more, because the thought of those that HAVE served, and made the ultimate sacrifice, and lost their lives. Here is this individual, attempting to get the honor, but never having made ANY sacrifice.
What about you guys? Any situations to share? How did you shake the lingering feeling of anger, disgust, and just generally being upset?
Honor
Service
Stolen Valor
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 28
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Personally. I don't really care. There are liars and thieves everywhere, and I have enough of my own problems to worry about. I don't feel the need to confront. I'd call bullshit, but it would end there.
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I haven't encountered one. However, if I did, I likely wouldn't do anything. I might initially catch him off guard and bring him a little shame but even that is unlikely. And once I leave he will be back at it again. All it does is put me in a position to look unprofessional and it isn't worth that risk for me. Liars will be liars and if they go to that extent they aren't going to change for the most part.
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The last person I encountered of questionable military merit, I showed him my military (retired) ID card and asked him about his uniform. He was wearing old Army BDUs, black boots that had a mirror polish shine and an ascot. He stated he didn't have to answer my questions and told me my ID card was fake. :) So I simply told him he sticks out like a sore thumb, especially in a town in which all the military services are represented and even an old Sailor like myself can tell the difference with uniforms one should and should not be wearing. He just turned and walked away. By the way, this was at the local mall. Instead of making a scene, I just informed mall security and went about my day.
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When you're homeless, no shelter to go to, you haven't eaten maybe for days and you're wearing cast-off filthy clothes you'll say just about anything to get a meal. I know because I've been there. Most people take the attitude that you're just too lazy to work and aren't interested in bettering their situation. They don't stop to think that when you have that look about you, the attitude that comes with it you're highly unlikely to be acceptable to apply for a job let alone get hired. When your address is the alley between 1st and 2nd street that's a bit difficult to find a place for on an application and hardly stable enough for an employer to find you to be reliable enough for employment. There are a lot of other factors too extensive to be able to post here but I would encourage you to be proud of yourself for being feeling enough to help the man out even though he lied to you. He obviously felt bad enough about doing it to not avail himself by taking advantage of your understanding I made it out of that life but there are a good many people who don't walk out of that alley they have to call home.. You did a good thing; sleep well in knowing that most people wouldn't have in your place.
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There is not such thing as Stolen Valor, this is a phrase that was invented by politicians used it to get votes during a time of war, because they knew that we would put our own belief systems into it. I feel pity for those that lie about military service because they do so out of ill mental health.
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I have had two instances of this. Once was at a Starbucks, with a young sailor home on leave, sharing with his hometown friends how much money he makes as an E-3 and the types of things he was doing. After hearing quite a bit of the conversation, I identified who I was, and asked him to be honest with his buddies and tell them what he really did. His face turned red and he was embarrassed. But he admitted that he was indeed making it up to look cool. I told him to be proud of his actual service rather than making up glorified, false versions.
The second time was in an airport, there was a 1LT in BDUs in line in front of me. Long story short, the more I talked to him, the more I knew something wasn't quite right. I started asking him very general questions that anyone in the Army would know, but he couldn't answer it. Turned out. He was wearing his brothers BDUs in hopes of someone giving up their first class seat for him as he had heard sometimes happens.
I just gave him a few words of advice and went on my way.
The second time was in an airport, there was a 1LT in BDUs in line in front of me. Long story short, the more I talked to him, the more I knew something wasn't quite right. I started asking him very general questions that anyone in the Army would know, but he couldn't answer it. Turned out. He was wearing his brothers BDUs in hopes of someone giving up their first class seat for him as he had heard sometimes happens.
I just gave him a few words of advice and went on my way.
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MSgt (Join to see) I think 1SG (Join to see) will give you the best response you're going to get, to this. Just my opinion.
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Last year at one of my son's games there was a guy working the concession stand wearing a "Desert Storm Veteran" hat. Having been in Desert Storm with 7-101st, and knowing that there aren't all that many of us, I attempted to strike up a friendly conversation... "Hey, me too! What unit did you go over there with?" (hoping that maybe we'd shared some experiences that we could talk story about over a beer maybe). His reply? "Uh, I didn't actually go to the Desert, I was just in the Army at the time, never left CONUS."
At the time I didn't really think about it. I was happy to meet someone else who had served, still a member of "the brotherhood", didn't think any less of him for never having left CONUS, but just a little disappointed that we hadn't chewed some of the same ground as I had originally thought.
Looking back though, it does bother me some more. I would have liked to have gone to Airborne school, but I didn't get the chance. That doesn't minimize my service, but I also didn't earn the right to run around with jump wings misrepresenting what I DID do.
At the time I didn't really think about it. I was happy to meet someone else who had served, still a member of "the brotherhood", didn't think any less of him for never having left CONUS, but just a little disappointed that we hadn't chewed some of the same ground as I had originally thought.
Looking back though, it does bother me some more. I would have liked to have gone to Airborne school, but I didn't get the chance. That doesn't minimize my service, but I also didn't earn the right to run around with jump wings misrepresenting what I DID do.
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