Posted on Mar 18, 2019
How do you tactfully and respectfully refuse an unlawful order without getting in trouble?
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This may come off as a weird question when one looks at my rank but I’ve never been put in a situation like this before.
Situation:
I was wearing black socks in uniform and a higher ranking NCO sees them and tells me I’m out of regs and I need to go change my socks. I told her I wasn’t out of regs explained to her that the color of my socks were within regulations according to AR 670-1 so therefore I’m not changing my socks. She tells me that I’m disobeying a direct order and she will counsel me. I’m still waiting for the counseling and I’ve seen her plenty of times since then and she’s yet to say anything to me. However she did tell my NCOIC and he got on me about insubordination. Seems like I’m getting it from all corners when I was never wrong to begin with. Any thoughts or suggestions?
Situation:
I was wearing black socks in uniform and a higher ranking NCO sees them and tells me I’m out of regs and I need to go change my socks. I told her I wasn’t out of regs explained to her that the color of my socks were within regulations according to AR 670-1 so therefore I’m not changing my socks. She tells me that I’m disobeying a direct order and she will counsel me. I’m still waiting for the counseling and I’ve seen her plenty of times since then and she’s yet to say anything to me. However she did tell my NCOIC and he got on me about insubordination. Seems like I’m getting it from all corners when I was never wrong to begin with. Any thoughts or suggestions?
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Uniforms
Uniforms
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 19
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It is best to acknowledge the NCO who told you to change your socks and drive on. All you had to do after the fact was notify your first line leader about the misunderstanding so they can fight the battle for you. As you hopefully learned, arguing the case with someone who has direct influence over your fate does not help your situation. Sometimes you have to choose your battles wisely and spend a little gas money versus getting hemmed up over something stupid.
Most importantly, now you know what *not* to do when you're the senior leader and I hope you now understand how to navigate situations like this in the future. Thankfully they are uncommon but at least you are equipped with the knowledge. Drive on and have a great day!
Most importantly, now you know what *not* to do when you're the senior leader and I hope you now understand how to navigate situations like this in the future. Thankfully they are uncommon but at least you are equipped with the knowledge. Drive on and have a great day!
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You're right, she's wrong. However...
Here are 2 things I often say to people in situations like this is:
1. "I didn't ask if you were right. I asked if you HAD to be right." There's a difference.
2. "Is this a hill you're willing to die on?" If not, let it go and change your socks.
Here are 2 things I often say to people in situations like this is:
1. "I didn't ask if you were right. I asked if you HAD to be right." There's a difference.
2. "Is this a hill you're willing to die on?" If not, let it go and change your socks.
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Well first off NCOs give Lawful orders and Officers give Direct orders, but heck that's just semantics. Anytime you buck up to a senior individual you stand the chance of catching heck, depending on their level of self confidence, maturity and if they are reasonable or a dipshit. Uniform regs change quicker then some folks change their skivvies lately so it's not surprising there would be an encounter over the propriety of some uniform item or another. The best way to avoid an incident is to be respectful, and not get into a public exchange.
What worked for me when someone made an incorrect -correction was to politely ask them to step away from earshot of others and explain their folly. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't, when it didn't I'd "yes SGT, NO SGT" disengage after listening to whatever horse manure was shoveled and report the negative encounter to my NCO and drive on.
So again read the third sentence of the first paragraph, there is no guarantee that you won't catch some form of crap.
What worked for me when someone made an incorrect -correction was to politely ask them to step away from earshot of others and explain their folly. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't, when it didn't I'd "yes SGT, NO SGT" disengage after listening to whatever horse manure was shoveled and report the negative encounter to my NCO and drive on.
So again read the third sentence of the first paragraph, there is no guarantee that you won't catch some form of crap.
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MAJ Raúl Rovira
Your comment is spot on CSM Richard StCyr regarding personalities, maturity and xyz. Well said. Even in the "O World" we deal with this.
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