Posted on Apr 29, 2017
How have fellow veterans dealt with toxic friendships after service?
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Bacground: fellow veteran, highly analytical, constantly comparing/trying to one up, thinks there is only one way to go about things. Directs, dictates, assumes vs having a conversation. You don't want to leave a battle buddy hanging but, this friendship is not healthy.
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 6
I have found that some veterans like to latch on to other veterans out in the civilian world - for better or worse. If you served with the person, then I understand the difficulty in wanting to cut ties. But, that doesn't change the calculus: if they aren't good to be around, then stop being around them. If they are someone you met since you left, then it should just be even easier. They are no different than anyone else you met. Veterans may have a common bond in many ways, but it does not mean you have to deal with their BS.
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Heh, I have siblings like that so your lucky you can just end the friendship and not have to deal with it at extended family get togethers. However, yes best to end the friendship and tell them why and seriously it is their issue not yours.
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Long ago, my father taught me the value of immediately ignoring nasty, caustic people. It was easy to walk away, and never look back. That was forty-five years ago after I returned home from Viet Nam. Ain't missed out on anything or anyone since.
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