Posted on Jan 7, 2021
How should I handle a situation where my NCO is allowing a friend, with whom I had an argument, to influence his leadership role towards me?
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Greeting, respectful brothers and sisters and dear senior leaders and veterans.
sorry but straight to the point. i am now going through prob the toughest time I could ever experience in my army career. i need everybody's recommendation of how I should approach this problem.
honestly, I do not know how I should explain this so I'll put it in simplest way in order.
1. Brand new NCO has arrived to my section.
2. This new NCO was stationed here in same section 4years ago
3. he has a best friend(female) named rachel in this base.
4. Rachel and I had an argument over some ridiculous stuff 3years ago.
5. Rachel tells this NCO about me. calling me all kinds of bad names and make him think of bad assumptions toward me.
6. Now, This NCO starts to treat me very unfair compare to my co-workers
(ex: Extra day working, unethical behaviors, Making assumptions over I never have done.)
7. I even had to work an extra day on the weekend (I never had UCMJ or was under corrective training for such thing)
8. This NCO starts to Make fun of my relationship & sexual activities between me and my fiance. (was not funny. i was extremely offended)
9. telling other NCOs that I'm a shitbag. (they denied though)
10. force me to go lunch with him because he wanted to get close my buddy(female E-4)
11. pulling hazing and attitude ONLY on me when it isn't his day.
12. I actually heard him saying he hates me when he was walking by the hallway w his buddy
13. asking about what my parents do and start criticizing my wealth.
14. Discouraging me when mission is put on.
i have been seeing my Bevaior Therapist and Provider for 5months now because i feel burned out, Depressed, stressed, losing hair. and most of my days i re-cite my self saying "i rather die, i rather die".
i can tell i'm becoming suicidal but there are nowhere to vent this stuff.
This has been going on for almost 7months and there is so much more to this, but I don't want to put everything here. i want you guys to read over and tell me where I should go or what I should do.
what am i supposed to do? i'm so scared and i don't want to commit suicide over this and it is also killing my relationship with my fiance as well. i am so discourage rightnow like I can't even do anything. please help
sorry but straight to the point. i am now going through prob the toughest time I could ever experience in my army career. i need everybody's recommendation of how I should approach this problem.
honestly, I do not know how I should explain this so I'll put it in simplest way in order.
1. Brand new NCO has arrived to my section.
2. This new NCO was stationed here in same section 4years ago
3. he has a best friend(female) named rachel in this base.
4. Rachel and I had an argument over some ridiculous stuff 3years ago.
5. Rachel tells this NCO about me. calling me all kinds of bad names and make him think of bad assumptions toward me.
6. Now, This NCO starts to treat me very unfair compare to my co-workers
(ex: Extra day working, unethical behaviors, Making assumptions over I never have done.)
7. I even had to work an extra day on the weekend (I never had UCMJ or was under corrective training for such thing)
8. This NCO starts to Make fun of my relationship & sexual activities between me and my fiance. (was not funny. i was extremely offended)
9. telling other NCOs that I'm a shitbag. (they denied though)
10. force me to go lunch with him because he wanted to get close my buddy(female E-4)
11. pulling hazing and attitude ONLY on me when it isn't his day.
12. I actually heard him saying he hates me when he was walking by the hallway w his buddy
13. asking about what my parents do and start criticizing my wealth.
14. Discouraging me when mission is put on.
i have been seeing my Bevaior Therapist and Provider for 5months now because i feel burned out, Depressed, stressed, losing hair. and most of my days i re-cite my self saying "i rather die, i rather die".
i can tell i'm becoming suicidal but there are nowhere to vent this stuff.
This has been going on for almost 7months and there is so much more to this, but I don't want to put everything here. i want you guys to read over and tell me where I should go or what I should do.
what am i supposed to do? i'm so scared and i don't want to commit suicide over this and it is also killing my relationship with my fiance as well. i am so discourage rightnow like I can't even do anything. please help
EO
SHARP
Inspector General
NCOs
Suicide
Edited 4 y ago
Posted 4 y ago
Responses: 7
8
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0
SPC(P) (Join to see)
I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with this. My first question is, Have you taken any of this to your 1SG or Commander?
You need to exhaust all of your options before going to IG.
I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with this. My first question is, Have you taken any of this to your 1SG or Commander?
You need to exhaust all of your options before going to IG.
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SPC(P) (Join to see)
SFC (Join to see) -
thank you for your advice SSG, it means a lot to me. really do.
i'll go through step by step and see where the situation leads me into.
thank you
thank you for your advice SSG, it means a lot to me. really do.
i'll go through step by step and see where the situation leads me into.
thank you
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SSG (Join to see)
SPC(P) (Join to see)
Well I would definitely request and appointment with them immediately if you are at the point you are telling yourself that you would rather be dead everyday.
I combat severe anxiety everyday. So I know exactly how you feel!
My first unit - i was treated the same way. I hated going to my unit. I would eat lunch in my car most days. I was passed up for schools and promotion so many times. It took a toll. I never had a promotion ceremony when I made my 5. I had a non mosq promote me sitting in the drill hall.
I was ecstatic when they gave me my orders to my unit in in now. I have been here for going on 5 years and I LOVE IT.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Have you considered relocating to a new unit? Your AD right?
Well I would definitely request and appointment with them immediately if you are at the point you are telling yourself that you would rather be dead everyday.
I combat severe anxiety everyday. So I know exactly how you feel!
My first unit - i was treated the same way. I hated going to my unit. I would eat lunch in my car most days. I was passed up for schools and promotion so many times. It took a toll. I never had a promotion ceremony when I made my 5. I had a non mosq promote me sitting in the drill hall.
I was ecstatic when they gave me my orders to my unit in in now. I have been here for going on 5 years and I LOVE IT.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Have you considered relocating to a new unit? Your AD right?
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SPC(P) (Join to see)
SSG (Join to see) -
i totally feel you! i decline my ceremony for farewell or promotion because i didn't wanted whatsoever.
i will probably pcs in march or september if they are extending my time in korea.
i totally feel you! i decline my ceremony for farewell or promotion because i didn't wanted whatsoever.
i will probably pcs in march or september if they are extending my time in korea.
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SSG (Join to see)
SPC(P) (Join to see)
Hearing that you declined your farewell and promotion makes me sad.
Making your 5 is a huge stepping stone in your career and you should celebrate that!!
Well maybe you and your Fiance can have a promotion ceremony at home ;)
Hearing that you declined your farewell and promotion makes me sad.
Making your 5 is a huge stepping stone in your career and you should celebrate that!!
Well maybe you and your Fiance can have a promotion ceremony at home ;)
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Don't go to IG until you have used all resources within your Command. NCOIC, 1Sgt, OIC, EO rep, etc etc
IG is there to help but it can have a backblast area if you don't exhaust everything before breaking that glass in case of emergency.
IG is there to help but it can have a backblast area if you don't exhaust everything before breaking that glass in case of emergency.
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SPC(P) (Join to see)
thank you for your adive SSgt Murphy.
roger that. i will be talking w my OIC over this tomorrow then 1SG if not situated.
roger that. i will be talking w my OIC over this tomorrow then 1SG if not situated.
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SSgt Christophe Murphy
SSG Nathan Stryker - Sounds like the IG process is neutered in the Army compared to the Marine Corps. In the Corps IG is basically the Commanding General's living breathing complaint box. He is briefed weekly on ongoing IG inspections of all units and of any outstanding complaints/inquiries submitted to the IG office. Each Wing/Division has an IG office and it is the all seeing eye of the General. Sad to hear it doesn't have the same weight and impact in the Army
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You need to get ahead of this request a meeting with the 1SG, bring all your concerns to him. Second don't bring accusations, bring proof DA 6'S(duty roster) any and all counseling statements. Bring character witnesses with you to verify you side. Ask the 1SG why if you are such a shitbag, has this other NCO not followed up on any plan of action laid out on your 4856. Why has the NCO not brought your Platoon Sargeant into this? Or if he has where is the PSG's plan of action or corrective actions? If everything you say is true this NCO has nothing to stand on and he will be forever looked at by the command as a shit NCO who couldn't get his ducks in a row and counsel and develop you properly.
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SPC(P) (Join to see)
Thank you SGT,
I do have a meeting with 1SG next week. And it look like I'm going to need some witnesses to verify my report(i do have numerous of them).
and yes, believe it or not everything it is true. I have no fear to bring all of documentation proof with me . thank you very much for your advice.
have a great weekend!
I do have a meeting with 1SG next week. And it look like I'm going to need some witnesses to verify my report(i do have numerous of them).
and yes, believe it or not everything it is true. I have no fear to bring all of documentation proof with me . thank you very much for your advice.
have a great weekend!
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