How to talk to my civilian employer about their constant need to assume I have underlining issues due to my service?

The super muta is what always raised question marks at my old place of employment. That and they couldn't ever have a set schedule on when exactly said mutas were supposed to happen during years we would do our NTC/JRTC exercises the overseas exercises or years we were supposed to deploy. Once or twice the schedule wasn't set in stone during the month of a muta. From an employer perspective this does kind of look suspect, but I'd also let them know if they wanted to talk to somebody at my company the training and operations nco were available to talk to.

You could always link them to USERRA as well. My previous employer didn't know this was a thing until I showed them. But I was the first guardsman to ever work for them.

SSG (Join to see) Lots of great responses here. I agree with the thoughts that SFC Casey O'Mally and GySgt Kenneth Pepper brought up earlier. You are leveraging your military expertise, but like some others have suggested here, you can't let it define you because of the civil-military gap. It is not on the civilian sector to "understand" us. It is on us to:
1. set an example of what a professional force is supposed to be while on duty (and bring the rest of the force with you);
2. bust the myths of the crazy veteran (I know, we get tired of educating); and
3. continue to act professional when out of uniform.

#3 is usually what gets us in trouble. We are hyper focused, diligent, blunt, no excuses with high expectations. Many civilians cannot hang in that environment for very long. In some cases, we can create a toxic work environment for others. As we spend time in civilian workplace culture, our leadership style should adapt, as SFC Casey O'Mally suggested. But not too much, our KSABs is what got us where we are in the first place.

At the end of the day, the professional thing to do is have a sit down and try to understand what behaviors are triggering the reactions from your boss. You may get clarity whether your employer is actually misunderstanding or you are too aggressive for the company. This is a different approach than simply asking them to stop bringing up the military because you can have a conversation where you both understand each other and commit to positive culture moving forward.

Super MUTAs are tough on employers. We get into an operational mode for an extended block of time, especially Combat Engineer leaders. It's tough to shake when we put the suit on and walk into the office on Monday. We can sometimes bring our Army leadership style to the workplace.

To me, honestly, this sounds like a question of workplace culture.

Yes, you are who you are. And no, it isn't *necessarily* because of the Army, so assuming that is wrong.

But.... if your personality does not mesh with the culture they are trying to create/maintain, then the onus is on you to either adapt or leave. We are great at adapting and overcoming... except when we are adapting to people. We have, generally speaking, always sucked at that.

Your Boss owns the Company. If you were not doing your job (based on the stakes) he would clearly replace you. I would simply request an audience with him. I would explain that I feel as if I am constantly singled out in one way or another related to my service. I would state that my conduct is mine and not that if the Army. I would appreciate any issues related to me and my performance be limited to facts on the ground at that time and not speculate that the outcomes are somehow related to my service.

Now, I am direct and have always been accepted that way. This may be too direct for you or your Boss, seek additional guidance her as you are receiving good advice. Finally, you know your Boss and what he can handle. You don’t want to jeopardize your relationship or job, it sounds like a well paying one.

My first piece of advice would be to bring up your military ties as little as possible. Avoid making any comparison between your civilian occupation and your ANG position or experience.
Secondly, if the subject comes up, tell them it is just as mundane and boring as any job. Don't go in on Monday after a drill weekend bragging about blowing shit up.
Remind him of the statutes that protect Reserve and Guardsman from being discriminated against. Most companies have these posted clearly in break rooms, meeting rooms, etc.,
If your HR Manager is knowledgeable he/she may be able to help also.
Bottom line, find out why he is so focused on this. Jealousy? Resentment because he was turned down? He lost his girlfriend to a SM?
Maybe a blunt question: "Bob, you seem incredibly interested in my military experience. You knew about it when I was hired. Why so many questions now?"

So... the military structure and understanding of these concepts is fast fleeing the business world. With that being said, if you have an HR department, I would go to them. Not to complain, but to clarify. You also may want to have a JST printed out and attached to your record. Translate what you do/did into their lingo. I wish there was a magic wand to cure certain bouts of uneducated cerebral rectitus, but there is not. If you have a direct supervisor that's particularly bad at it, I would advise a cup of coffee and knee cap to knee cap conversation to personally clarify your situation. Most businesses that have a disconnect with service members, need someone to break it down Barney style. I do hope this helps! Best of luck!

I get it....... I wonder sometimes had I not "retired" from Finance and joined the USAR how far I could have gone down that path if I continued while in the USAR. Could I have been a CFO of a mid size or large company and still been in the USAR.

I've noticed COL's and CMS's in the USAR/NG all seem to have figured out the career and service balance. They are either in positions where they can call the shots at work, or are in positions at work where their employer can carry the weight of our service obligations.

Being in a critical position at a civilian job just doesn't seem to work well in the modern USAR/NG OPTEMPO.

Example........... 1 weekend a month 2 weeks a year is 77 retirement points (including the 15 membership points). I've never got less than 90 points in any given year, and that's when I was a commander and could "game" the system to my advantage to minimize that given year.

I've now found myself in a unit with multiple AT opportunities, which means I can pick and choose between which part of the calendar year I take AT. So I try and remember to keep this in mind when I get career ambitious with my military job. Don't ruin a good thing.

Yea, I get it, we are protected by USERRA, but are we? Only the dumbest employers get hammered by it. The USAR/NG also frequently goes WAY out of bounds with USERRA many times as well. How many times have we been given a change of orders last minute and just stuck it to our employers? Many employers just cave to the threat from USERRA, most just figure it out and work around it.

Remember, we only get 60 months of orders that take us from work that protects our jobs. If employers were smart they'd keep track and at month 60 months and a day cut folks loose (I presume this is rare for someone to be employed at the same employer so long that 60 months actually accumulates).

************
I guess what I am saying is you need to manage your NG career path in a manner that can coexist with your civilian obligations. For me, that's staying put in a very OPTEMPO friendly unit, and being cautious where I stick my foot next. I'm still hammered with getting put on orders, but I'm gaming the system now with PME, and gobbling up paid points with classes here and there when it fits MY SCHEDULE so when push comes to shove "oh too bad, CPT Lesher burned up all his funding for the year, so we can't pull him in".

I'm not saying it's easy. It merely makes it "work".

I worked for a major corporation that had lots of government contracts, so the official position was very strong support for Guard and Reserve. My direct manager would gripe and question every time I left. One time, he just went ballistic and said he was going to HR about my absences. He started off ranting about how much time I was spending on military duty. The guy stopped him, said "let him go", and just hung up the phone.

I will be honest; this guy had pissed me off about a number of work-related items, so I applied for every school and volunteered for any duty I get. Now I did it to enhance my military career. the fact that it pissed him off was just a bonus.

You can tactfully address it and if it continues, talk to an EEO attorney

I'd say thanks, i appreciate the spotlight, but I'm a quiet, humble type and I don't need constant talk up as a veteran, but I do appreciate the thought and I'm grateful to work here.