How would you react if someone knocked on your door to check if you shaved or not, on a weekend?

"No no no. No Army here today. You go."

I'd have my wife answer the door on the weekend and tell everyone I'm upstairs shaving.  

I was a specialist before I became a Cavalry Scout.  I am thus doubly capable of evading notice. If all of the Army's problems are solved and personnel are available after budget cuts to fan out into the diverse zip codes of the off-post community, I am confident in my ability to camouflage myself, my equipment and my dastardly stubble to avoid detection.