Posted on Oct 4, 2015
I went to the Chow Hall this morning, left pretty pissed off. Would you do the same thing I did?
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My spouse and I went to the gym this morning and had a great workout. After my shower, I went to the DFAC for Sunday morning brunch. spending time with the Soldiers as well as chow was great.
We noticed a couple (probably in early-mid forties) sitting at the next table with three young children (ages estimated at 6, 8, 9)....the children were running all over the place - not being watched or corrected by the either parent....looked like they had been there for quite some time as well because there was food, wrappers, plates all over the place.
I noticed the children playing around the area fallen hero table so I approached the father, I thought I was very restrained - here's what happened:
Me: Sir, do you know what this table is here for?
His reply: "roger, I know the meaning".
Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.
(the children were still running around.....now the youngest was pulling at the fallen hero table cloth)
Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.
Me: Sir, do you truly understand the importance of this display, and understand what it exactly means to all of us within this community?
Reply: Yes
Me: Sir, please get your children under control!
At that point, he grabbed his son and put the child over his shoulder and walked with him back to the table and then turned him lose & let him go back to "roaming" all around the DFAC....next to the stoves and all the other appliances (in the back) which are not so kid friendly!
How would you have handled the situation? Directly? Indirectly (thru the DFAC manager? Ignored the situation completely, (it aint my business).
We noticed a couple (probably in early-mid forties) sitting at the next table with three young children (ages estimated at 6, 8, 9)....the children were running all over the place - not being watched or corrected by the either parent....looked like they had been there for quite some time as well because there was food, wrappers, plates all over the place.
I noticed the children playing around the area fallen hero table so I approached the father, I thought I was very restrained - here's what happened:
Me: Sir, do you know what this table is here for?
His reply: "roger, I know the meaning".
Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.
(the children were still running around.....now the youngest was pulling at the fallen hero table cloth)
Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.
Me: Sir, do you truly understand the importance of this display, and understand what it exactly means to all of us within this community?
Reply: Yes
Me: Sir, please get your children under control!
At that point, he grabbed his son and put the child over his shoulder and walked with him back to the table and then turned him lose & let him go back to "roaming" all around the DFAC....next to the stoves and all the other appliances (in the back) which are not so kid friendly!
How would you have handled the situation? Directly? Indirectly (thru the DFAC manager? Ignored the situation completely, (it aint my business).
Fallen Soldiers
Respect
Disrespect
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 100
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I would have asked him and his family to depart the facility and not return till he can teach his family some respect for not only the Fallen Heroes Table, but for the DFAC in general.
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Several core Balues were in question here. If this soldiers home life was like this in public, what was it like at his job?
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Sounds like you already did the right thing within your "lane". Messing around with the stoves and burners is a facility NCO/Safety matter. They will be able to "back up" their rules and safety violations much more readily than you. A complaint form someone who is recognized as an official in that field will carry more weight than a complaint from "the nit-picky guy". Even if you are in the right.
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If I were still there I would have the family to leave, due to the fact that the facility is not Ryans or Golden Corral and that our facility is not a play ground
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CSM Michael J. Uhlig
I know without a doubt that you would have taken appropriate action had you been there SSG David McPherson!
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BRING BACK THE MESS SERGEANTS, THERE IS TOTAL CHAOS IN MOST CHOW HALLS NOW. CIVILIAN EMPLOYEE'S ARE AFRAID TO CORRECT THE RANKS WHEN A VIOLATION OCCURS IN FRONT OF THEM. THE CHOW HALL IS NOT A PUBLIC PLACE, IT IS A DINING FACILITY AND AS SUCH A MILITARY MEMBER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONDUCT OF THEIR DEPENDENTS WHILE ON A MILITARY INSTALLATION. I APPLAUD CSM UHLIG FOR HAVING THE FORTITUDE TO CORRECT THIS INDIVIDUAL, THERE ARE WAY TO MANY VIOLATIONS NOWADAYS THAT ARE JUST OVERLOOKED. IN THE EARLY 80'S WE HAD TO DRESS APPROPRIATELY TO ENTER THE CHOW HALL, NO PT GEAR OR SWEAT PANTS ALLOWED.
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I would have done the same...the sad thing is most everything and everyone now days are too pc or sensitive...I've been told and given looks a couple times in stores when I gave my child a swat on the butt that I'm a terrible parent. Now mind you my son needed a little correcting and talking to him at his level wasn't doing the job, plus it wasn't a full on arm back swing, it was a quick smack to let him now that his behavior was unacceptable. I've only had to do this a few times and my son now knows how to act in public...respectful. I was spanked as a child and I'm perfectly fine. Kids needs a good check every now and then. I have seen a kid at a NEX scream at his father for Legos, the dad just said no the kid screamed again ran down the Isle and ripped open the box and bags and dump them on the floor and the dad did nothing. I asked if he was going to pick them up and pay for them, he just looked at me like how dare I ask such a question. So I went and got management. What happened after that I have no idea. It sad how some people don't care to help foster their children into respectful young adults.
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The way you handled it is exactly the way I think a leader should react. The Fallen Hero table is not a toy. I was at an event that was attended by both military and civilian people last year and there was a Fallen Hero table present. One gentleman was walking around with his date/girlfriend/wife, and he set a drink down on the table. To most people this is okay yet, as I watched the glass get closer to landing on the table, I approached him and simply asked him to not rest anything on the table. After taking the time to explain what the table meant, he clearly understood and thanked me for teaching him something that day. Now that was a civilian who had no idea what the table meant.
For someone, civilian or military, to know what the table means; to allow someone else in their party to behave in such a manner is craziness. Yet, you see it all the time. Walk into a store and you'll see kid(s) running down the isle with cart while the parents are lost in their phones keeping up on Twitter. Walk into a restaurant and your nice peaceful meal with your family is interrupted by some kid who thought that PF Changs is a good playground.
I'm no where close to the perfect father but I'm so thankful that my kids listened to the lessons on respect I gave them and that we can go out and enjoy ourselves without interrupting others.
For someone, civilian or military, to know what the table means; to allow someone else in their party to behave in such a manner is craziness. Yet, you see it all the time. Walk into a store and you'll see kid(s) running down the isle with cart while the parents are lost in their phones keeping up on Twitter. Walk into a restaurant and your nice peaceful meal with your family is interrupted by some kid who thought that PF Changs is a good playground.
I'm no where close to the perfect father but I'm so thankful that my kids listened to the lessons on respect I gave them and that we can go out and enjoy ourselves without interrupting others.
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I would have asked him to get his kids under control just like you did. then I would have gone to the defac ncoic. If that didn't have worked I would take it higher on the defac NCO for not taking control of his/her defac.
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CSM Michael J. Uhlig, I would have done the same thing, probably not as nice but still, and then I would've notified the DFAC staff/management as well. That way all bases are covered.
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