If my mother is my dependent do I get BAH at her zip code or my duty station zip code?

The implied part of secondary dependents (DFAS term for your Mom, provided she is in DEERS as your dependent) is that they are so bad off they live WITH YOU. The second you draw BAH, you are ineligible for a barracks space. BAH is always the duty station, with the one exception being unaccompanied to Korea, then youd have to pick where she will go, and that is the BAH. Location enumerated in orders.

The mortgage, a rental, different locations, refusal to move, all irrelevant. Those are issues for you and your Mom to work out. You requested to add your Mom as a dependent. DFAS granted your request. You are on the hook to provide that support. This is the Faustian Bargain

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Is your mother is actually your dependent you will get BAH. The question is if your mother is in your dependent in DFAS?

BAH is always at the Soldiers location unless a very high level ETP comes down. If it wasn't, everyone would claim CT, Fairfax Cty, San Diego, and HI as their places of residence and get absurd amounts of BAH.

Listen this is a dilemma that many face for many reasons. Most often a direct decision made by the family unit, with that comes greater expense.

Not to get personal but it sounds as if you made some decisions based on the love for your Mom as related to some health and welfare related issues.

There are a lot of other assistance programs in each municipality. There may be additional support programs that she qualifies for in her area, housing assistance, medical support etc.

As your dependents she still has TriCare.

Anyway, take a broader perspective and look at all of the possibilities. This is your responsibility, but there is guidance and support available.

To be your dependent you need to show you are providing significant support to that family member. I do not see a SPC being able to show that level of dependence and be able to afford two households.

Your BAH will depend on your orders. If you got to Bliss you will get BAH for there even if your mom lives in San Francisco. Only way she will get BAH where she lives if you do an unaccompanied tour to Korea and have yours orders state your moms Location