If my wife has a doctor's appointment and I need to take her to it, do I have to take a chargeable leave day?

yes and no , im literally an army of one here, everyone else is 1 to 3 hours drive away from me. im just pissed, it feels like micromanagement to me.

I used to feel that way when I was running my own shop. But there were times when Cpl Goolsby had to do Cpl Goolsby things. The work will still be there when you return. You should be able to talk to your chain of command and explain the situation. When my wife was pregnant, I brought her to her appointments because I only had 1 vehicle. If anything came up, they had my cell number and could get a hold of me.

My whole chain of command knows my situation but it seems like they just don't give a damn.

Well that just plain sucks. But like I said, the work will still be there when you return. If they feel so strongly about you not taking care of personal business during your chow time, then they should consider staffing the work center with more than a single person. You may be a 1 man show, but the Army won't miss you when you're gone. You'll be replaced with some new SNCO just as he'll be replaced when he moves on. You need to take care of you and your family.