Posted on Jul 23, 2014
Is there something more that can be done for single service members or geo bachlors when returning from deployment?
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As a single soldier throughout my military career I found some of the hardest times I encounter emotionally was returning from deployment to nothing. From the time we step of the plane until being released for the evening all I saw was married service members sharing hugs and kisses with their loved ones, walking hand in hand with smiles across their faces. As I received a ride home to my empty quarters. I am looking for tangible experiences that individuals have had and experience to see what can be done to make returning from deployment better for all service members.
Deployment
Family
Welcome Home
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 3
SFC Jesse Wyant, I can relate as I married late in life and most of my deployments behind me when I finally did.
First, it is inherent upon the leadership to ensure they are cognizant of the single soldiers in their unit and what type of support system they have. Are they going on leave to family? Do they have close battle buddies that they are going to be with instead of that empty apartment? What BOSS events are the leadership going to have for those soldiers?
Second, the single soldier needs to plan events so they don't turn into a barracks rat. Every post I've been at has had a very active BOSS program. Additionally there will very likely be many other soldiers in the unit that are in the same situation. Buddy up! Get involved! During my single days, my unit was my family and I formed some very close friendships and leaned on these friends during the troublesome and lonely times.
First, it is inherent upon the leadership to ensure they are cognizant of the single soldiers in their unit and what type of support system they have. Are they going on leave to family? Do they have close battle buddies that they are going to be with instead of that empty apartment? What BOSS events are the leadership going to have for those soldiers?
Second, the single soldier needs to plan events so they don't turn into a barracks rat. Every post I've been at has had a very active BOSS program. Additionally there will very likely be many other soldiers in the unit that are in the same situation. Buddy up! Get involved! During my single days, my unit was my family and I formed some very close friendships and leaned on these friends during the troublesome and lonely times.
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SFC Jesse Wyant
Sir,
First thank you for your reply. I agree that between the BOSS program and buddying up with fellow SMs who may be in the same situation is always a good plan. However, SMs who serve together know what they have been through together and the acknowledgement of that can be said without words. I believe my experiences were from a deeper place that the acknowledgement from friends and family who are non-military may have been the approval I was missing. What I am thinking is developing a program possibly along side the support of the BOSS program to be able to bring family members together for those single soldiers families who may not have the ability or finances to do it themselves. I just feel the recognition of a loved one immediately after returning from deployment may be extremely beneficial for single soldiers and may even help to lower the suicide rate of returning SMs. Again I base this all off of my experiences returning from numerous deployments where each time the feeling was deeper and darker.
First thank you for your reply. I agree that between the BOSS program and buddying up with fellow SMs who may be in the same situation is always a good plan. However, SMs who serve together know what they have been through together and the acknowledgement of that can be said without words. I believe my experiences were from a deeper place that the acknowledgement from friends and family who are non-military may have been the approval I was missing. What I am thinking is developing a program possibly along side the support of the BOSS program to be able to bring family members together for those single soldiers families who may not have the ability or finances to do it themselves. I just feel the recognition of a loved one immediately after returning from deployment may be extremely beneficial for single soldiers and may even help to lower the suicide rate of returning SMs. Again I base this all off of my experiences returning from numerous deployments where each time the feeling was deeper and darker.
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I've always said in some ways being a deployed single soldier is harder then being a married one, particularly during homecoming.
My first deployment I thought no one came out to see me come back. It was a sad feeling. Luckily, I just didn't see where all of my friends were standing and they quickly tracked me down.
My first deployment I thought no one came out to see me come back. It was a sad feeling. Luckily, I just didn't see where all of my friends were standing and they quickly tracked me down.
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Suspended Profile
SFC Wyant. When you find the right person this will all fall into place. In the interim, I would spend time with my closest 'mates to make the transition easier. Warmest Regards, Sandy
SFC Jesse Wyant
1LT Annala,
Thank you for your reply. I have retired from the Army now a few years ago and am now married. My intent here is there has to be an answer. Whenever I think back about my military career I always remember those times as a very deep dark and lonely experience. I am making it a goal of mine to work towards a solution to make the return of single soldiers the happy experience that our married counterparts experience. Doing this I by no means intend to exclude married SMs who may not have their spouse at the homecoming or married SMs who are having issues within their marital bliss, but rather trying to come up with a solution to make homecoming better for all SMs.
Thank you for your reply. I have retired from the Army now a few years ago and am now married. My intent here is there has to be an answer. Whenever I think back about my military career I always remember those times as a very deep dark and lonely experience. I am making it a goal of mine to work towards a solution to make the return of single soldiers the happy experience that our married counterparts experience. Doing this I by no means intend to exclude married SMs who may not have their spouse at the homecoming or married SMs who are having issues within their marital bliss, but rather trying to come up with a solution to make homecoming better for all SMs.
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