Posted on Jan 30, 2015
1SG Civil Affairs Specialist
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If you have been following my situation, it has reached a critical point. I believe that the last, best chance to recover the situation is through a professional counselor. My wife says that she is going to give this a try, although she also says she has given up. I take heart in the fact that she is still here, and has committed to this process.
If you have been through this, what advice do you have?
What was successful?
What pitfalls do you advise me to avoid?

I have faced a lot in my life, but I am genuinely afraid of losing my family. Any thoughts are welcome.
Posted in these groups: Rings MarriageHelp1%281%29 CounselingCollege advice Advice
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Responses: 25
SFC Josh Jackson
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Edited >1 y ago
That's promising, and I'm hopeful for you! I'll offer up the conversation I had with my son-in-law before I gave my blessing:

"Do you love my daughter?"
"Yes!"
"Why?"
...
"Here's a hint: I don't need the answer; you do. You must understand and never forget why you love her. You'll both change and grow over the years, so that answer may change. But you must always be mindful of why you love her. The heart follows the mind. If the mind doesn't lead, the heart wanders."

Counseling may be your opportunity to rediscover why you love each other. I hope it is. Good luck!
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SSG General Services Technician And State Vehicle Inspector
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>1 y
That's some really good stuff right there.
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SFC Josh Jackson
SFC Josh Jackson
>1 y
Thanks! It's kept me happily married for more than 20 years.
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SSG General Services Technician And State Vehicle Inspector
SSG (Join to see)
>1 y
Excellent. I wish I was there too. Unfortunately, I have two failed marriages under my belt although the second one was a massive mistake from the word go to the point I'm literally still paying for it to this day. I'm now married, almost three years, to an amazing woman who loves me for who I am just as I love her and our two boys.
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CSM Michael J. Uhlig
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Be open, open enough that you expose yourself to being vulnerable (vulnerable to accept change if needed)...it takes two to make it work. Been through some challenges myself.
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SFC Mark Merino
SFC Mark Merino
>1 y
AMEN!!!
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SSG Keven Lahde
SSG Keven Lahde
>1 y
CSM Michael J. Uhlig CSM well said. And that is the hardest part to do it to open yourself up to being vulnerable. 1SG (Join to see) TOP I just hope that in the long run, better or worse, you come out feeling that you did everything possible to make it work. I am kind of in the same situation. Being married for over 12 years, and my wife feels trapped is the word I guess. I am trying to make her happy, but just seem to work. I hope that is works out for the 2 of you and I will pray for the 2 of you as well and she does finally realize what a true and loving person you are. I feel your pain and hope for the best.
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CH (MAJ) Command and Unit Chaplain
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Hope is a powerful presence in relationships! I have discovered counseling (transparency) in a relationship, surrounded by forgiveness enables love to grow.
Ed
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SFC Mark Merino
SFC Mark Merino
>1 y
AMEN!!!
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