Lady Valor: Navy SEAL-turned transgender. Fair for his family?

None of our business.

Good for her. I don't think the DoD will allow transgender folks into the military, but I think it is due to costs more than anything else. The cost for drugs is very high (Not to mention the surgical costs). Having recruited, I know they would get turned away at MEPS. Personally, I don't care one way or the other. Everyone who wants to serve should be able to... but the military isn't so fair in that regard.

My biggest disappointment with her is letting her family down. It's one thing being single, but when you're married with kids, you better think twice about big decisions like that!

For many of us, coming out is an...intense event. Depending on what environment we were raised in, the area we live in now, and a host of other factors, it could take DECADES just to come to terms with BEING trans*, let alone telling someone else. To be honest, I'm amazed that Miss Beck was able to muster the courage to come out at all, given that SHE was a part of a highly male oriented group.

Also, to the origional poster: it is HIGHLY inappropriate to refer to a transgender person by their "former gender;" it serves as a denial of credibility, a sign that "this person isn't REALLY 'insert gender here'. " Also, for future reference, the neurological pathways of a trans* person are made up in the same manner as their preferred gender(e.g. a trans* woman's brain is wired as that of a cisgendered woman, as opposed to those of hetero- or homosexual men). In other words, SHE wasn't born a man; SHE was born a woman, and suffered from a condition which gave her the BODY of a male.

Thank you all for taking the time to read my ramblings.

Lets see here

So its pretty obvious this woman did more in her military career then you ever will and you're going to call her "He"? Thats completely disrespectful.

He "went transgender" Hahaha...you're joking right?

You also don't seem to have any of the correct terminology down, I suggest you try to educate yourself first. You can start here, http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/10/ignore-preferred-gender-pronouns/.

My question is if DADT were repealed before she came out and had the gender re-assignment surgery, would they still let her serve in DEVGRU?

1. I've never walked a foot - let alone a mile - in this person's shoes. Nothing I could say regarding their decisions can possibly hold any value.
2. My grandma used to say "If if's and but's were candies and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas." When and why this person made which decision is irrelevant to us.
3. SFC Marino is dead on - God is this person's judge. NO ONE ELSE.
4. This person earned the Budweiser - and a spot on DEVGRU. 'nuff said about courage and character.
5. I pray that the way I've treated my wife and children is never brought into the light and feasted upon like a bloated carcass on a mesa.
6. It's a pretty telling view of our culture if THIS is what is considered information worthy of dissemination to tens of millions of us.
7. The slimy so-called "journalist" SOBs that ignored their sense of right-and-wrong (assuming they possess such a thing), and took this story world-wide owe a debt they can never ever hope to repay to those damn'd few (including this SEAL) who went downrange.
8. I pray that God limits the damage done by this disrespectful, demeaning and indefensible media feast on this family's pain.

My 2 cents... and all y'all can keep the change... 7:^[

Whether this individual "Came out" now vs. later is not the issue. This individual is who they are right now at this moment. We all have our demons, skeletons, monkeys on our backs, etc. pick one. We all have to carry that load and at some point the load is too much. For some it is suicide, for others alcohol, and still others maybe violence. This individual chose to reveal what they believe is their identity right now.

As for the debate regarding the family, I see no difference from this individual changing and becoming someone different from a heterosexual couple growing apart and divorcing. What is the difference?

IMO the right thing to do is to embrace who you are, notify those significant people around you and walk your path. It is probably far healthier for this individual to let the children know and educate them, because the kids will know, the in-laws will know, family and close friends will know. There is no hiding this, people close will know. How much damage gets done by hiding the facts? What do the children learn by watching someone struggle with and try to hide this.

I know from personal experience that holding on to something that eats you up inside is a terrible price to be paid and there does come a reckoning when you finally reach the end of your rope and your spirit is splayed and prostrate before you and there are no more exits.

I neither agree nor disagree with this individuals decision, because it does not impact me and does not involve me. I just hope that sufficient thought was given to do the most responsible thing, which would alleviate the most pain and provide for the most long-term growth.

On this quite touchy subject, I say there isn't any good time in current society to "come out". The USA is still fairly new to the concept that these people are stepping out of the shadows with their heads held high and history has shown darkly that these people aren't treated very well. What I know is that if it's what they feel, if it's what they believe, who am I to judge the life of another? She isn't killing anyone over it, and on a side note I've met a few transgenders since I've been in the navy, and usually they are some of the most down to earth people I've met. They are comfortable with themselves and when others try to bring them down it seems to only empower them to keep on with who they believe they are, not society. They are also much more relaxed more often. That's my take.

But back on subject here I think if that is what she wants to do, then it's her life choice, and people, especially her family, should respect that. If they don't, well last I checked the worst betrayal is turning your back on family.

Many sides to a a person's experience.