Posted on Mar 11, 2014
Married OR Single: Which has more advantages?
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Is it better/easier to be married, or single in the military. Is it different for enlisted personnel than it is for commissioned folks? If yes, how so? Personal stories are welcome as long as people don't get carried away with wet blanket, sob stories, or rage-style blackout rants.
Servicemembers
Marriage
Dependents
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 16
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Hi everyone,
My doctoral research project is looking at this very question. I would really appreciate it if you could help me out.
INTERESTED IN WINNING ONE OF MY TWENTY $15 VISA GIFT CARDS? KEEP READING…
I need participants for my doctoral project research study on the factors that influence the decision to marry. If you meet the following criteria, you are eligible to participate and be entered into a raffle for one of twenty $15 Visa gift cards
(Please review the criteria carefully and let me know if you have any questions):
1. Male
2. 18-50 years old
3. Currently or previously married
4. Employed full-time when you got married
I am looking for civilians as well as Army soldiers to participate in this study.
NOTE: Army soldiers MUST have been serving on active duty when they got married.
This link will take you to the survey. It should only take you 10-15 minutes to complete. SPREAD THE WORD! Thanks!
https://mspp.co1.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_cOtWClm9JtqMXcx
This study has been reviewed and approved for use by the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology’s Institutional Review Board (MSPP IRB). If you have questions or concerns regarding your rights as a participant in this survey, you may contact the IRB chair, Dr. Edward De Vos, [login to see] , or at [login to see] . You may also report your concerns or complaints via email to [login to see]
My doctoral research project is looking at this very question. I would really appreciate it if you could help me out.
INTERESTED IN WINNING ONE OF MY TWENTY $15 VISA GIFT CARDS? KEEP READING…
I need participants for my doctoral project research study on the factors that influence the decision to marry. If you meet the following criteria, you are eligible to participate and be entered into a raffle for one of twenty $15 Visa gift cards
(Please review the criteria carefully and let me know if you have any questions):
1. Male
2. 18-50 years old
3. Currently or previously married
4. Employed full-time when you got married
I am looking for civilians as well as Army soldiers to participate in this study.
NOTE: Army soldiers MUST have been serving on active duty when they got married.
This link will take you to the survey. It should only take you 10-15 minutes to complete. SPREAD THE WORD! Thanks!
https://mspp.co1.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_cOtWClm9JtqMXcx
This study has been reviewed and approved for use by the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology’s Institutional Review Board (MSPP IRB). If you have questions or concerns regarding your rights as a participant in this survey, you may contact the IRB chair, Dr. Edward De Vos, [login to see] , or at [login to see] . You may also report your concerns or complaints via email to [login to see]
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I need participants for my doctoral project research study on the factors that influence the decision to marry. If you meet the following criteria, you are eligible to participate (Please review the criteria carefully and let me know if you have any questions):
1. Male
2. 18-50 years old
3. Currently or previously married
4. Employed full-time when you got married
I am looking for civilians as well as Army soldiers to participate in this study.
Army soldiers MUST have been serving on active duty when they got married.
This link will take you to the survey. It should only take you 5-10 minutes to complete. SPREAD THE WORD! Thanks!
https://mspp.co1.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_cOtWClm9JtqMXcx
1. Male
2. 18-50 years old
3. Currently or previously married
4. Employed full-time when you got married
I am looking for civilians as well as Army soldiers to participate in this study.
Army soldiers MUST have been serving on active duty when they got married.
This link will take you to the survey. It should only take you 5-10 minutes to complete. SPREAD THE WORD! Thanks!
https://mspp.co1.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_cOtWClm9JtqMXcx
Married & divorced MEN, 18-50 y/o, can participate in my research study! It only takes 5-10 min!
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It all depends on how the person looks at it. If the young enlisted person is focused on the future living in the barracks is the perfect choice, meaning there are no bills what so ever. The cost of this is that he/she lives at the whim of their leadership. After hours "Hey You" details are typically for those that are seen as "stuck " in the barracks that have nothing better to do. People like this however do typically leave the service with a very large nest egg to get started in "real life" or for when they get married.
On the other hand, people like me, always felt as if we were trapped living in the barracks. Having to live by Army standards instead of the standards we saw everyone else living by either in on post housing or off post. I personally lived in Round Rock with a girlfriend and her family which was 45 minutes from Ft. Hood. I received no extra monies for this but I did gain alot better understanding on how to budget my bills and such. I feel that it helped me better prepare myself for life once I got out of the service.
On the other hand, people like me, always felt as if we were trapped living in the barracks. Having to live by Army standards instead of the standards we saw everyone else living by either in on post housing or off post. I personally lived in Round Rock with a girlfriend and her family which was 45 minutes from Ft. Hood. I received no extra monies for this but I did gain alot better understanding on how to budget my bills and such. I feel that it helped me better prepare myself for life once I got out of the service.
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Dual military definitely has it's monetary advantages as I have seen with fellow soldiers.
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Having been both (twice), I think there were more advantages when I was single than being married. Life was a lot less complicated when all I really had to do was take care of myself, my gear, and keep the other slackers in the barracks in line. Don't get me wrong, I love being a family man now, but it's a LOT of work. The days of coming home, kicking off my boots and chilling out are over, but they were great while they lasted. Going through an endless procession of roommates sucked in hindsight and nothing, and I mean nothing, tops walking into my own home and being greeted by my sons. I guess the advantages come down to what you expect to get back out of it. I think too many young soldiers today only see the benefits (BAH, no more barracks), which really aren't benefits when broken down. Getting married while serving is a bold move not just for the soldier, but for the family that has to sacrifice along with the soldier. It isn't easy street, but definitely isn't all that difficult if done for the right reason.
On a personal note, much as I may complain about it to my wife (HH 06), I actually love my honey-do list that she never lets me get caught up on. As much as I haven't been home, it makes me feel like I'm actually a contributor instead of a financier.
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I think there are pros and cons to both being married and being single in the military. BLUF: I don't think military service should be a determining factor in getting married or staying single. People need to make that determination based on their love for a significant other and the strength of their relationship.
I do think that there are advantages to being single. You have more flexibility and your responsibilities are not as demanding. The only person directly effected by a PCS or deployment is you. But as a trade off for that increased "freedom" is loneliness. I have been a single Soldier, and can be downright lonely. I don't think that anything can compare to the companionship that a marriage brings. There is a reason married men live longer than single men... Again, my bottom line is that you should choose what is best for you based on you, your significant other, and the strength of your relationship. If you focus on those first, then it will not matter if you are in the military or are a civilian.
Being married in the military has its challenges. Deployments, PCSing, long hours, unpredictable schedule, etc. all make it difficult. I have seen marriages that were build on a strong relationship and mutual trust and respect that have lasted through all those challenges. I have also seen many marriages fail because the relationship was not very strong to begin with. One thing we all need to realize, Soldier or civilian, is that we all go through tough times. Being married is about committing to help each other make it through those tough times and grow as both individuals and as a couple.
Another difficulty about being married is trying to balance professional and family obligations. I had a CSM tell me when I was a PFC that family should always come first, but we need our profession to be able to provide for our families.
I do think that there are advantages to being single. You have more flexibility and your responsibilities are not as demanding. The only person directly effected by a PCS or deployment is you. But as a trade off for that increased "freedom" is loneliness. I have been a single Soldier, and can be downright lonely. I don't think that anything can compare to the companionship that a marriage brings. There is a reason married men live longer than single men... Again, my bottom line is that you should choose what is best for you based on you, your significant other, and the strength of your relationship. If you focus on those first, then it will not matter if you are in the military or are a civilian.
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