Posted on Jul 8, 2014
SFC Network Engineer
38.6K
47
34
0
0
0
Horror Stories: We all have them. Most are myth, a few are fact, and a few get repeated so often that we know the person who is telling the story is full of it - because while they claim it was a story they personally witnessed, we all know it was us who really "witnessed" it - like the story about the guy who ties the wrong end of the power cord to a buffer around his neck, and then throws it out the window of the third floor of the barracks... Yeah - I saw it... I swear!

So, here is where you can post those stories that are just too whacked out to not be true. Have at it (My first one will follow below).

Also, if possible, provide a lesson learned from your story!
Edited >1 y ago
Avatar feed
Responses: 8
SFC Network Engineer
6
6
0
Here's mine: During a hot July sometime in the 90's, we went to the field for a 2x week FTX (Field Training Exercise). We had a guy (a SGT) in the company who figured he could go the whole two weeks without bathing or changing his underwear (he liked to wear briefs - it will become clear how I know this shortly).

As we head into the 2nd week, I am woken up at about 5 am to the sounds of the most horrible screaming I'd ever heard - it sounded like someone was being murdered.

The entire company comes running out, and we discover the above mentioned Sergeant, lying on the ground outside the door of a porta-john, with his pants and underwear around his ankles, holding his bloody crotch.

It seems that what happened is this: He had gone a whole week without needing to take a crap - thanks to our wonderful MREs (and I especially suspect the cheese - since this particular individual would trade anything for the cheese in the MREs). Anyway, he never dropped or changed his underwear that whole week.

Because of the heat, he basically was stewing his scrotum (trying to be polite here) in salty sweat. When he finally went to the porta-john to actually go #2, his scrotum had stuck to his underwear, and when he pulled the briefs down, most of the outer layer of skin and hair pulled off...

Lesson Learned: Wear boxers or go commando, if you wear underwear, change it daily, and lastly: wash your private parts daily - especially areas that don't get exposed to air a lot.
(6)
Comment
(0)
CPT Obstetrics and Gyneco
CPT (Join to see)
8 y
That is f-ing disgusting. I am at a loss for words.
(2)
Reply
(0)
SFC Network Engineer
SFC (Join to see)
8 y
Yes, CPT (Join to see), it was disgusting... thankfully, I wasn't in that PLT. I'm guessing that you're not a parent though... and trust me, kids can be way more disgusting than getting a little poop on your hands... which you can wash at least
(0)
Reply
(0)
CPT Obstetrics and Gyneco
CPT (Join to see)
8 y
Kids can be gross but kids are are kids. This was a grown man who should have known better.
(1)
Reply
(0)
SFC Network Engineer
SFC (Join to see)
8 y
CPT (Join to see) : Oh, yeah - sorry.. different story.. this guy was definitely gross... But I'll never forget that, and it's a lesson I used to teach my troops - both male and female - wash daily, esp. your, um... stinky and sticky parts... I should also note, that once he learned that lesson the hard way, he made sure he never experienced it again... oh, and I'm also a former EMT, current First Responder and Fire Fighter, so - to go with that, sometimes, people are even grosser than that...
(1)
Reply
(0)
Avatar small
SSG(P) Matthew Bisbee
5
5
0
While out in the field at Camp Ripley, a LTC stopped by our site and used the porta-potty. When she came out, she complimented the thoughtfulness of the designer of the porta-potty for installing a cradle to hold her LBE while she used the facilities. We couldn't figure out what she was talking about and asked her to show us this cradle. She rolled her eyes and pointed to the urinal basin. It took a lot of professionalism not to laugh in her face when we told her what the "cradle" was really for.
(5)
Comment
(0)
Avatar small
SFC Cryptologic Network Warfare Specialist
2
2
0
It has been years. My friend who was a MP told me about all these haunted spots at Schofield. People would hear strange noises in the barracks and doors would be opened on their own. When he was doing patrol at night, he would see shadowy figures and weird occurrences around the abandoned stable and elementary school up on a hill. Since I have not been to the base, I don't really know where he was talking about.
(2)
Comment
(0)
Avatar small

Join nearly 2 million former and current members of the US military, just like you.

close