Military parents, how do you think the "military lifestyle" has affected your children?

It has been Wonderful for my Children. My Daughter was 3 when my husband went in, and my Son was born almost 5 years later at Ft. CAMPBELL , Military Hospital. My Children learned Dad was not home for 3 weeks, we did more of everything, they made new Friends, I made new Friendships and we depended on each other at times. My Children appreciated Dad when he was home, and we had Family time. Even when we moved to Alabama when my husband went to Flight School, Dad could not come home for 3 months. Mom was everything. Our Marriage was a little test then, I cut the grass, worked at the Officer's Club, was Mom and Dad, especially through chicken pox. But we survived. In 9 months Graduation came, my in laws were here and we celebrated. Oh , and the Orders were back to Ft. CAMPBELL. WE were all happy.

(Note: I say my son, because I hate the word "Step parent," given I'm the dad in his life - His biological dad hasn't said a single word to him, ever. Just to avoid any potential confusion.)

I can't say in the same way on how it's impacted my kids - I have been in the Reserve since I have had kids. I know my kids don't adapt well to change (making friends, new locations, etc). So it would be INCREDIBLY difficult on them. My son grew up in a small city at the beginning, then when I stepped into his life, he moved just a city over and found it hard to make friends. It was a while before he found some people to really connect with. My daughter is very shy towards new people, so while it could have an opposite impact, she is only 4 right now, and if I uprooted my family, it would be a 75/25% chance, 75% being she'll go further into her shell and remain shy.

From a PERSONAL perspective, however, I did grow up as an Air Force brat. Knowing that moving was part of life, I didn't have issues adapting. I actually preferred to move. My dad was an Air Medic during Desert Storm, and was gone A LOT while stationed in Turkey in the 90's. While it was sad having him gone, I didn't think much of it during the day - I got into a rhythm and enjoyed things I could control. I saw a lot of awesome places, and met a lot of people from all walks of life (Enlisted, Officer, different cultures...all of it.). So I was able to relate better to different cultures as I got older. Or knew traditions in cultures I wouldn't have known without being a military brat. It is a different view being born into the lifestyle than if you suddenly appear in it. And every kid takes it in different ways. But if they know moving and deploying is just part of it and they've known it from the start, it does feel like it's easier than if you have a step parent that is in the military.

This is ultimately a decision that you and your spouse will need to make. There's good and bad with both sides, but at the end, family adapts. You won't always be in the military, so this could just be a small impact on their life, depending on when you ultimately retire. Or it could be their entire childhood.

If you want to talk more, I'd be more than happy to, feel free to message if needed. But hopefully this helps out.

Overall I think it was a positive affect, especially on my daughter. She is an E-8 23 year Army professional. She makes her mother and I proud.

I have four kids and we have been very fortunate. All four of my kids were born on Fort Bragg and they have never experienced a PCS move. My oldest is 14 and a freshman in high school. My youngest is three years old. It was a lot easier to deploy when they were younger. But I have an awesome wife who has literally motivated me to do the things that I have done. Without her who knows where I'd be. The military has been the best thing to ever happen to me and my family.

My son and daughter both loved our assignments, they saw a great deal of Europe and made great friends.

Single mom of an 11 yr old boy here, and just got 15 yrs AFS. For the first 5 + yrs I was paranoid at how the moving around and possibility of deployments would affect my son. So much so that I considered getting out and it added to my constant anxiety and depression. But in the last few years I've learned to stop fretting over what I cannot change. Since I'm on recruiting duty and my hours can be unpredictable, I decided to let him stay with his father who is a civilian now. Although it hurt me and I felt guilty at first, again, I chose to look at the positives and stop worrying about what I couldn't control. I know it may not be so easy for others bc everyone's situation is different, but it works for me. And also remember to enjoy these precious moments with them, they're only kids for a short time!

Speaking as a military brat, I'd agree that there is good and bad. I got to move around a lot, and I really think the intercultural perspective helped me in my youth and even today. That said, I often had trouble making friends (we we're leaving in a couple of years anyway, didn't see the point). That, coupled with my introverted nature made for some lonely years growing up.

This is constantly on my mind, as my wife and I want kids, but I'm not sure if want to put my own children through the same challenges I faced. Or, maybe those challenges made me a better person, I couldn't really say. I will say, I don't regret the fact that my father served. The one thing I do regret was that I grew apart from my extended family. Most of my aunts, uncles, and cousins are strangers to me.